Editing Astarion/Banter

{{PageSeo
| title = Astarion's Banter
| description = A collection of Astarion's remarks and overhead conversations with other characters.
| image = Portrait Astarion.png
}}
{{SpoilerWarning}}
{{Party interactions}}
{{Companion tab}}
A collection of [[Astarion]]'s remarks and overhead conversations with other characters.

{{TOC|limit=4}}

== Remarks ==
====Selected====
<div style="column-count:2">
* Keep a blade close.
* Trust no one.
* Watch your back.
* What now?
* Hmm?
* Someone there?
* Hello again.
* Was the sun always that bright?
* Let's see what the day brings.
* What a day.
* Everything looks new.
* Things feel... different.
* Keep your distance, darling.
* I could get used to this.
* Well hello.
* How delicious.
* Careful. I bite.
* Don't touch me.
</div>

====Selected (sneaking)====
<div style="column-count:2">
* What is it?
* Mmm?
* Quiet...
* Really? Now?
* Now?
* Now what...
* If this isn't important...
* I was trying to concentrate.
* Time to kill?
* Time for a little death?
* Keep your blade close.
* Let's have some fun.
* Hello you.
* Ready.
* Shall we?
* Quietly now...
* I'm just waiting.
* Something smells tasty.
</div>

====Selected (in combat)====
<div style="column-count:2">
* Let's have some fun.
* Time to kill.
* This feels good.
* Let's turn someone inside out.
* Shall we cut and run?
* I've missed this.
* Shall we dance?
* The dance macabre.
* Who's next?
* Go for the throat.
* I feel alive.
* Can you feel death's cold grip?
* There's blood in the air.
* Let's spill some blood.
* I'm ready.
* Let's have some carnage.
* Hungry for the slaughter.
* Time for a cull.
</div>

====Selection spam====
* Why do beautiful people taste better? It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities.
* Ugh. Strahd wouldn't put up with this shit.
* More like Drizzt ''Don't'''Urden - no. No that's not funny.
* Villains! Dissemble no more, I admit the deed! Tear up the floor - here, here! It is the beating of his hideous hea- oh, no, that's his brain. Where did I leave that heart?

====Selection spam (sneaking)====
* Shhh. Just think sneaky thoughts.
* Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP.
* Be very, very quiet - I'm hunting idiots.
* I've got a brand new torture chamber, so come and play with me.

====Selection spam (in combat)====
* I'm ''trying'' to focus on murder.
* *Humming.*
* I shot a svirfneblin in Menzoberranzan just to watch him die.
* I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.

====Moving====
<div style="column-count:2">
* Go.
* There.
* Moving.
* Quick step.
* Yes, let's.
* Let's go.
* Let's move.
* Let's be quick.
* On my way.
* Don't linger.
* Step lightly.
* Step quick.
* Tread carefully.
* Tread lightly.
* This way.
* Over here...
* Shall we?
* Over there.
* Watch your back.
* Watch the shadows.
* One step at a time.
* Subtle steps.
</div>

====Moving (sneaking)====
<div style="column-count:2">
* Nice and easy.
* Step carefully.
* Just like old times.
* Move unseen.
* The element of surprise.
* They won't see me coming.
* Gently...
* Stay low.
* Not a sound.
* Stepping softly.
* Silent as the grave.
* Quietly...
</div>

====Moving (in combat)====
<div style="column-count:2">
* Outmanoeuvre them.
* On the way.
* Keep them guessing.
* This will do nicely.
* Moving.
* With finesse.
* Quickly!
* Let's go.
* Let's move.
* Be quick.
* On my way.
* Don't linger.
* Step quick.
* This way.
* Over here.
* Yes, here.
* Time to move.
* A better position.
</div>

====Hiding====
<div style="column-count:2">
* Let's keep to the shadows.
* On tippy toes.
* Just like old times.
* Into the shadows.
* Time for discretion.
* Neither seen nor heard.
* Like a wraith.
* Leave no trace.
* Be very, very quiet.
* On the hunt.
* Let's prowl.
* Ready or not...
</div>

====Hiding (in combat)====
<div style="column-count:2">
* Just like old times.
* Into the shadows.
* Leave no trace.
* On the hunt.
* Now they see me...
* Time for a new approach.
* They won't know what bit them.
* The subtle approach.
* We'll do it my way.
* Let's have a little fun.
* Ready or not...
* Let's find some prey.
</div>

====Attacking====
<div style="column-count:2">
* Feel their anguish
* Let's play
</div>

====At low health====
* Heal me, damn you!
* Gods - it hurts.
* Urgh. That nearly ended me.
* I can't take much more...
* I need healing - now!

====Attacked by party member====
* Think you're funny, do you?

====Can't fit in a small hole====
* That thing is ''small'', and I am not.

====Can't fit in a tiny hole====
* That thing is ''tiny'', and I am not.

====Can't use an item====
* It's uncooperative.
* That did nothing.
* It's not broken, but it isn't working either.
* Seems not.

====Can't use an item while in combat====
* Now is ''not'' the time.
* Let's wait until no one's trying to kill me.
* Killing people now, playing with doodads later.
* Maybe later, when I'm not locked in combat?

====Finding a locked item====
* I'm not opening that. Not from here, at any rate.
* I can't unlock it from here, but there must be a switch or a button somewhere...
* Locked tight, but there must be some way to open it.
* No, that's not moving. There must be a way to open it somewhere.

====Picking a lock====
* Oh, for a skeleton key.
* (Chuckle) ''Easy...''
* Should be easy.
* Simple.
* A crooked touch.
* With pleasure.
* Hardly a challenge.
* Let's crack it open.

====Looking at a globe====
* The world looks so small. Like you could just reach out and take it.

====Looking at an astrolabe====
* Not just a world to explore, but an entire cosmos...

====Looking into a mirror====
* I don't need a reflection to know this looks fabulous.
* Hmm, yes... still nothing.
* Looking perfect as always. I assume.

====Looking into a telescope====
* I never cared for spyglasses. Watching things from afar is hardly fun.

====Succeeded Perception roll (trap)====
* A trap. Someone doesn't like visitors.
* Be careful, there are traps about.
* Traps. How considerate.
* Oh dear, someone's left a trap out for us.

====Succeeded Investigation roll====
* Well now, what have we here?
* Well hello there.
* Hmm, what could you be?
* What's that I spy?
* Ah, interesting.

====Succeeded Investigation roll (trap)====
* It's a trap. And a nasty one at that.
* A devious little trap.
* Hello, you wicked little thing.

====Identified a mimic====
* A poor imitation. I see you, you sneaky little shapeshifter.

====Surprised by mimic====
* Yes, yes. I'd hide my true form if I looked like you, too.
* Ugh. That creature was rather prettier in disguise.

====After a Short Rest====
* Off we go, then.
* Well, some rest's better than none.
* Enough sitting around - let's go hurt someone.
* All right, time to see what new horror's waiting for us.

====Guidance====
* How did you last so long without me?
* Someone needs help, I see.
* Don't worry, I'm here.
* Do not waste this.
* Yes, alright.
* Where would you be without me?

====On character death====
'''Player:'''
* No, you can't die. Get up, damn you!

'''Player (Dark Urge):'''
* No! My sweet, bloodthirsty friend.

'''Lae'zel:'''
* Lae'zel - no!

'''Shadowheart:'''
* Shadowheart! No!

'''Karlach:'''
* Karlach! You can't die - I won't let you die.

'''Jaheira:'''
* Jaheira! You will be avenged. 

'''Gale:'''
* No, Gale!

'''Wyll:'''
* Wyll! Get up, you sweet fool!

'''Minthara:'''
* Minthara! Damn it all.

'''Minsc:'''
* No - Minsc! You can't die, not now!

'''Halsin:'''
* No - Halsin! Gods damn it...

====Throwing Scratch's ball after his death====
* Can't believe the stupid dog isn't here to get the stupid ball.
* Good riddance to the dog. Who'd miss that waggy little tail...
* Does it have a sad squeak now? Is that even possible?
* I suppose I'll just pick it up myself.

==== Throwing Boo ====

* Go, little rodent!
* Go for the neck, Boo!
* Eat hamster, fiend!

== At the Epilogue party ==
=== If remained a spawn ===
''Greeting''
* So, you made it? Now it really is a party.
''Near the fire''
* I have missed this place. And these people. Well, some of these people.
* Why is the night air always sweeter? It's such a rich perfume.
''At the table''
* This seems pretty red. But... urgh - no. Not even close.
* Urgh, rank. I'd take a 'rat' over this any day.
* Withers can pluck fresh wine from all over the world, but is there one bottle of fresh blood?
=== As the Vampire Ascendant===
''Greeting''
* Do my eyes deceive me? The gang is really all here.
''Near the fire''
* I wasn't sold at first, but the forest is rather good for a get-together. You could scream bloody murder out here, and no one would ever know.
* This is nice. A little tame compared to my own parties, but it has its quaint charm.
* How lovely it is to see everyone doing well. As long as they're not doing ''too'' well, of course.
''Preening in the hand-glass''
* Hello again, beautiful.
* I will never get tired of seeing that face.
''At the table''
* Mmm, divine! I wonder if I could get this for my own cellar.
* Withers certainly knows his wine. Or resurrected an excellent sommelier.
* Oh, I simply must have this one. It's practically sanguine.
* Hmm. Well, they can't all be winners...
''Going to take the Vampire Bat Form''
* I should take a tour. Just to see what the rest are up to.
* Perhaps I should stretch my wings again. Who knows what people are gossiping about.
''After flying around the camp''
* Not one juicy secret to be heard. Such a pity!
* Just the same old chatter. Does no one here get drunk and spill secrets?

== Location Remarks ==
=== Act One === 
{{SpoilerBox|act=1|nograd=1|unhide=1|
{{stub|section}}
(By the dock in the [[Ravaged Beach]])
* Running water normally burns like acid. But now - who knows?

(Opening the chest containing {{RarityItem|Drow Studded Leather Armour}} in the [[Underdark]])
* A resupply stash. I wonder if Lolth's pets left anything good.

(Encountering a [[Mushroom Circle]] in the Underdark
* Well, it's certainly... symmetrical?

(Sitting on the [[Stool of Hill Giant Strength]]) 
* Well now, what's this? I feel ''powerful.''
* Damn it, it's gone...

([[Ancient Temple]])
* Impressive-looking ruins down there, but well out of reach.
}}

=== Act Two === 
{{SpoilerBox|act=2|nograd=1|unhide=1|
{{stub|section}}
(Upon releasing [[Dolly Dolly Dolly]])
* A pixie! An honest-to-goodness pixie...
(Upon reading Melodia's [[Letter to Ketheric]])
* Why, that's almost beautiful. Imagine what she'd think if she saw him now.
}}

=== Act Three === 
{{SpoilerBox|act=3|nograd=1|unhide=1|
{{stub|section}}
[[Ancient Lair]]
* I don't know what's happening with that body, but it looks very creative.
* He stashed his canopic jar inside a zombie? Oh, the clever boy.}}

== Party Banter ==
=== {{Banter|Gale}} ===
* '''Astarion''': I am enjoying our walks together, aren't you, Gale?
* '''Gale''': Uhm... Sure. In silence.
<hr>
* '''Astarion''': So, do you have loves waiting for you once this is all over?
* '''Gale''': You know what - that is not the easiest of questions for me to answer.
* '''Shadowheart''': You mean just waiting, like a lovesick puppy? Short-term amusements are much less hassle.
<hr>
* '''Astarion''': That orb seems powerful. What can it do once it's extracted?
* '''Gale''': Nothing good can come of it unless it is contained. Why?
* '''Astarion''': It might be useful. Who knows?
<hr>
* '''Astarion''': Ever heard of a vampire called Cazador, Wyll?
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Wyll''': I don't think so. Why? Friend of yours?
(''If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Wyll''': Doesn't ring a bell. Why?
* '''Gale''': He's patriarch of the Szarr family. Nasty fellow, if the histories are accurate.
* '''Astarion''': I imagine they are.
<hr>
(After dispelling the illusion at [[Sunlit Wetlands]])
* '''Astarion''': From sweet woodland to stinking swamp. Can you do tricks like that, Gale?
* '''Gale''': Easiest thing in the world. Though I'd do it the other way around.
<hr>
''(After encountering [[Auntie Ethel]])''
* '''Wyll''': Ethel mentioned Netherese magic. What in blazes does that mean?
* '''Gale''': Magic from the fallen empire of Netheril. Ancient, exceedingly dangerous, and quite unrivalled.
* '''Astarion''': Wonderful! I'd hate to be destroyed by any common old magic.
<hr>
(Near [[Rosymorn Monastery]])
* '''Astarion''': Another ruined temple, full of foul-smelling beasts, spoiling for a fight.
* '''Gale''': No mere temple. This was a monastery, devoted as much to study as to worship.
* '''Astarion''': Oh, how ignorant of me. So it'll be free of foul-smelling beasts, then?
* '''Gale''': Quite the opposite. Some monastic orders celebrated their pungency as proof of their devotion. 'To think is to stink' was the motto of one ill-fated brotherhood near Amn.
* '''Gale''': Oh, but you meant beasts of the life-threatening variety? Yes, I'm sure it's teeming with those.
<hr>
(At [[Crèche Y'llek]])
* '''Gale''': I knew I should've attended the Blackstaff's lectures on githyanki tir'su.
* '''Gale''': If I understood their script, who knows what secrets their texts would surrender...
* '''Astarion''': Why not ask one of the friendly bloodthirsty warriors? I'm sure they'd be happy to translate.
<hr>
(At [[Mason's Guild]] Rebel Hideout)
* '''Astarion''': What's this? A clever little hideaway?
* '''Gale''': Not just clever - rather ingenious. Somehow its construction keeps the Shadow Curse at bay.
* '''Astarion''': A little too clever, if you ask me. Watch out for traps.
<hr>
(Approaching [[Moonrise Towers]])
* '''Astarion''': Moonlanterns to keep the curse back, burly guards to fight off any monsters - I could get used to this place.
* '''Gale''': Don't get too comfortable. We shouldn't overstay our welcome in such a place.
* '''Astarion''': No, of course. Why stay somewhere safe and comfortable when we could be in mortal peril?
<hr>
(At [[Moonrise Towers]])
* '''Astarion''': Can't say I love what they've done with the place.
* '''Gale''': Unsurprising, really. Fanatical cultists tend to care more for ambience than aesthetics.
* '''Astarion''': Reason enough to put them all to the sword, I say.
<hr>
(At [[Mind Flayer Colony]])
* '''Astarion''': It's enough to put you off tentacles for life.
* '''Gale''': You had a taste for tentacles?
* '''Astarion''': The Elfsong Tavern used to serve excellent calamari. Mind you, that was two hundred years ago...
<hr>
(At [[Mind Flayer Colony]])
* '''Astarion''': Gods - we're not back, are we?
* '''Gale''': On the nautiloid? No, this is a different nursery - similar, but not identical. There's likely one in every colony.
* '''Astarion''': I don't care what's in every mind flayer colony, Gale - nobody does. Except you.
<hr>
(At [[Lower City Sewers]])
* '''Astarion''': I gave my return to Baldur's Gate a lot of thought. I never pictured this, though.
* '''Gale''': What did you have in mind? A quiet party, toasting your return with a few good friends?
* '''Astarion''': Less 'quiet party with friends', more 'days of hedonistic debauchery'. But otherwise, yes.
* '''Gale''': Sounds like a recipe for disaster. But you know what? I'm learning to enjoy the taste of chaos. Count me in.
<hr>
(At ?)
* '''Gale''': Mystra has a shrine within the city. Located in the Stormshore Tabernacle, if my memory serves me.
* '''Astarion''': Do whatever you need to, but I shan't be paying my respects to any of the gods on show.
* '''Gale''': You never felt the call of the divine, Astarion?
* '''Astarion''': Oh, I tried them all. None of them answered.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Gale; after act 1 romance scene'')
* '''Astarion''': So Gale, how is your sad, hopeless pining going?
* '''Gale''': I'm hardly pining. It's been a year or more since Mystra cast me aside.
* '''Astarion''': Oh, my dear wizard. I wasn't talking about Mystra.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Gale; after act 2 romance scene'')
* '''Astarion''': So, how was your night with Gale? Did you have a long, hard debate?
* '''Gale''': Ignore him. Astarion envies the depth of our bond because he's of a shallower inclination.
* '''Astarion''': Snort.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Gale; after act 3 romance scene'')
* '''Astarion''': So, Gale - you laid with a goddess? You must have some sordid tales to tell?
* '''Gale''': Sordid? I lay with the Mother of Magic herself. What we had was transcendent, euphoric, incandescent. Not sordid.
* '''Astarion''': You actually made sleeping with a goddess sound boring. Incredible...
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 1 romance scene'')
* '''Gale''': I see you waste no time pursing your quarry, Astarion.
* '''Gale''': Tell me, do you always woo your lovers with such patient attention?
* '''Astarion''': I rather thought I was a little slow this time. Usually, they're begging me to drain them on the first night.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 2 romance scene'')
* '''Gale''': I fear I've been rather hasty to judge you, Astarion.
* '''Gale''': One heartbreak was quite enough for me, but to experience it as many times as you have must change a person.
* '''Astarion''': Thank you, Gale. Let us both hope that broken hearts are a thing of the past.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn'')
* '''Gale''': If you're feeling faint after your bout with Cazador, Astarion, I don't mind donating some blood.
* '''Astarion''': When you're still full of that Netherese bile? I'll pass, thank you.
* '''Astarion''': Besides, I have someone else to nibble on. And they are delicious.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant'')
* '''Gale''': So, Astarion. I hear your relationship has taken on a new aspect recently...
* '''Astarion''': My life has taken on a new aspect. It is only natural that my relationships change as well.
* '''Astarion''': As the Vampire Ascendant, I can grant my lover immortality, and bind them to me forever.
* '''Gale''': I trust you speak of the bonds of love, and not the shackles of servitude.

=== {{Banter|Karlach}} === 
(''While in plains'')
* '''Karlach''': Hahaha. Ha!
* '''Astarion''': What's so funny? You haven't got some laughing curse, have you?
* '''Karlach''': I really made it out of Avernus. It's incredible.
* '''Astarion''': All right, just keep it down. We're conspicuous enough without your hyena call.
<hr>
(At [[Forest]])
* '''Astarion''': Biting flies, midges - shouldn't nature be beautiful and serene? It looks so nice in the Upper City parks.
* '''Karlach''': Upper City, huh? Swish. Never spent much time there myself.
* '''Astarion''': I'll happily take you. If we survive this bugs' banquet.
* '''Karlach''': Sounds good. I've always been curious what a patriar loo looks like.
<hr>
(At [[Sunlit Wetlands]])
* '''Astarion''': Transforming into a mind flayer might have its perks. At least then I could float over this muck.
* '''Karlach''': Not one for roughing it, I see.
* '''Astarion''': Wallowing in filth is for pigs and children, my dear.
* '''Karlach''': Pigs, children, and people with a little bit of grit.
<hr>
(At [[Grymforge]])
* '''Karlach''': Ho. He-llo! Hey!
* '''Astarion''': So... are you greeting invisible beings or just losing your mind?
* '''Karlach''': The echoes - listen! They're coming from three directions!
* '''Astarion''': Losing your mind it is! Probably the tadpole - the weirdest things seem to be...
<hr>
(Near [[Rosymorn Monastery]])
* '''Astarion''': Gods, how are we not there yet? My feet are killing me.
* '''Karlach''': Want me to carry you?
* '''Astarion''': Oh, darling, would you?
* '''Karlach''': Sure! If you promise to swap once I get tired.
* '''Astarion''': Please, I can barely manage my pack - you'd kill me.
<hr>
(At [[Last Light Inn]] Graveyard)
* '''Astarion''': The graveyard's ancient, but the graves are fresh.
* '''Karlach''': Feeling at home?
* '''Astarion''': I haven't set foot in a graveyard since I became a spawn, thank you. Vampires are nothing like those other undead.
* '''Karlach''': True. I've never heard a mummy complain about a wrinkled doublet. Or sour wine.
<hr>
(At [[Rivington]])
* '''Karlach''': Nice to be in a crowd of normal people for once.
* '''Astarion''': Really? I prefer my company extraordinary.
* '''Karlach''': Aww, thanks.
* '''Astarion''': Don't thank me, thank Gortash.
* '''Karlach''': Excuse you. I didn't need that prick to make me who I am.
* '''Astarion''': You're right, of course. Forgive me.
* '''Karlach''': All good, fangs.
<hr>
(At [[Baldur's Mouth]])
* '''Astarion''': Probably best if I keep a low profile. They used to know me all too well in the Elfsong.
* '''Karlach''': Wonder if our paths ever crossed in the before-times. Were you always so sneaky?
* '''Astarion''': I haven't survived for two centuries by being reckless. And I hope to survive at least two more.
* '''Karlach''': Yeah yeah, don't rub it in.
<hr>
(At [[Grey Harbour Docks]])
* '''Karlach''': Can you swim, Astarion?
* '''Astarion''': I'm... not sure, honestly. It's been a couple of hundred years.
* '''Karlach''': You're missing out! Loved it as a kid. This water looks nasty as hell, though.
* '''Astarion''': Well, it's not called 'Grey Harbour' for nothing.
<hr>
(At [[Felogyr's Fireworks]])
* '''Karlach''': Oh man! WHIZBANGS!
* '''Astarion''': Keep calm, Karlach. One bad flare and you could blow this whole place.
* '''Karlach''': (Oh man! Whizbangs!)
* '''Astarion''': Better.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 1 romance scene'')
* '''Karlach''': Hey. What's on your mind, Astarion? You seemed a million miles away just then.
* '''Astarion''': Hmm? Oh, I was just pondering that heart of yours.
* '''Astarion''': There were times I would've been thrilled if everyone who put their hands on me burst into flames.
* '''Karlach''': I'd trade you if I could.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 2 romance scene'')
* '''Astarion''': So the more you cool down, the more your love life heats up?
* '''Karlach''': Seems that way! But I'm a bit out of practice, to be honest.
* '''Astarion''': I'm sure it'll all come back to you. You'll be as depraved as the rest of us in no time.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 3 romance scene'')
* '''Astarion''': I hear you were spotted being 'normal' in the Singing Lute, Karlach. Are you feeling all right?
* '''Karlach''': Seemed like the right thing to do. I've never really tried 'normal' before.
* '''Astarion''': And? How did you find the quiet life?
* '''Karlach''': It was nice. It was really nice.
* '''Astarion''': I never thought I'd see the day - our champion of the Hells has gone soft.
* '''Karlach''': Maybe I have. Finally.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 1 romance scene'')
* '''Karlach''': I never was a sucker for a smooth-talker, but I admit, Astarion, you're pretty slick.
* '''Astarion''': And you're rather the opposite of slick. Do you have a point?
* '''Karlach''': I was just being nice.
* '''Astarion''': Step one of starting a conversation: think before you speak.
* '''Karlach''': Never was my strong suit.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 2 romance scene'')
* '''Karlach''': Sorry if this is rude, but... can vampires fall in love?
* '''Astarion''': What a preposterous question. Vampires can do anything you can do, and a damn sight better.
* '''Karlach''': Sunbathe? Swim?
* '''Astarion''': All right, there are a few limited exceptions.
* '''Karlach''': Good to know love is on the table though.
* '''Astarion''': It is. Though if the table is laden with good wine and meat, love is often left to rot with the salad leaves.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn'')
* '''Karlach''': So our vamp isn't so heartless after all.
* '''Astarion''': Rich of you to talk about someone else's heart, Karlach.
* '''Astarion''': But I must admit, my chest has been feeling a touch lighter recently.
* '''Karlach''': It suits you beautifully.
* '''Astarion''': Yes, most things do.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant'')
* '''Karlach''': You know, Astarion, I'm not sure I can trust you anymore. You're... different. A bit scary, to be honest.
* '''Astarion''': I have one person who trusts me completely. That's enough for me.
* '''Karlach''': Treat them right, or you'll have me to answer to.
* '''Karlach''': I can whittle up a good stake in no time if the mood takes me.

=== {{Banter|Lae'zel}} ===
* '''Astarion''': So, you know about these parasites. Will we survive them?
* '''Lae'zel''': Only if my people extract them. The only other cure is the blade.
* '''Astarion''': Okay. Wonderful.
<hr>
* '''Astarion''': You fight well, but you're so efficient. Why not have a little fun?
* '''Lae'zel''': Fun? I fight to win, not to make spectacles.
* '''Astarion''': What a waste.
<hr>
* '''Astarion''': Shadowheart. Such a grim name for such a beautiful flower.
(''If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Shadowheart''': I heard you mumbling that line to yourself earlier - it needs more work.
* '''Lae'zel''': Fortunate for his tongue he didn't say it to me.
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Shadowheart''': Could you not stare so blatantly at my neck when you say that please?
* '''Lae'zel''': Oh, but do keep calling her 'flower'. She'll love that.
<hr>
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Lae'zel''': Feed if you must, Astarion.
* '''Lae'zel''': But give me so much as a hungry look, and I'll drive a stake through your heart.
* '''Astarion''': Ooh, I do so very like spicy food.
<hr>
(''If everyone knows about Astarion's scars'')
* '''Lae'zel''': Poetry as torture - your master's quite clever, Astarion. Don't you agree?
* '''Astarion''': You and I have very different definitions of 'clever'.
<hr>
(In the [[Underdark]])
* '''Astarion''': Do we have to spend so long poking about down here?
* '''Astarion''': I'd much rather be outside, with the sun on my skin.
* '''Lae'zel''': You've only just come to tolerate sun, and you're already nostalgic?
* '''Lae'zel''': If you're going to complain the whole way, by all means, return topside. You could use the colour.
<hr>
(At [[Crèche Y'llek]])
* '''Lae'zel''': We are permitted to walk so freely. Such a lack of discipline would be punished severely in K'liir.
* '''Astarion''': Walk freely? This place is as tight as a patriar's purse.
* '''Lae'zel''': We should have been disarmed on entry. I'm pleased we weren't, but it's strange.
* '''Astarion''': No doubt they found me too intimidating.
<hr>
(At [[Gauntlet of Shar]])
* '''Astarion''': It's all very grand, but so austere.
* '''Lae'zel''': Did you expect anything else? This is how your gods project power.
* '''Astarion''': But why not project power with soft furnishings and roaring fires? Maybe then I'd worship them.
<hr>
(At [[Reithwin Town]])
* '''Astarion''': Just once, I'd like to find a village that hasn't been plundered and destroyed.
* '''Lae'zel''': Indeed. All the best weapons have already been scavenged.
* '''Astarion''': I was thinking about a warm fire and charming company, actually.
* '''Lae'zel''': I am perfectly charming, I'll have you know. On Crèche K'liir, I was known for my dazzling smile and charisma.
* '''Astarion''': Really?
* '''Lae'zel''': No.
<hr>
(At [[The Waning Moon]])
* '''Astarion''': Ah, beer. Not really my drink, you know.
* '''Lae'zel''': I know, Astarion. You prefer blood.
* '''Astarion''': Well - yes. It was a joke.
* '''Lae'zel''': I know that, too. It just wasn't funny.
<hr>
(At [[Mason's Guild]])
* '''Lae'zel''': 'Mason's Guild'. The githyanki would call this a or'mlar: an alliance of mlar.
* '''Astarion''': And what is a 'mlar', exactly?
* '''Lae'zel''': Builders, craftspeople - and the makers of the incomparable silver swords the kith'raki wield in battle.
* '''Lae'zel''': The mlar may not be warriors, but they are no less valuable to my people.
<hr>
(At [[Moonrise Towers]] Docks)
* '''Astarion''': The boat's heading to Baldur's Gate. I'm almost tempted to stow away.
* '''Lae'zel''': Chk. Try to abandon us and it won't go well for you.
* '''Astarion''': Oh, I wouldn't actually leave. After all, where would you be without me?
<hr>
(''While assaulting [[Moonrise Towers]]'')
* '''Lae'zel''': At last, we wash our weapons in Absolute blood.
* '''Astarion''': I like this bloodlust look on you. Very flattering.
* '''Lae'zel''': Even now, at the cusp, you waste your breath on prattle.
<hr>
(At [[Mind Flayer Colony]])
* '''Lae'zel''': We must be ready to confront the elder brain. One presides over every ghaik colony.
* '''Astarion''': No problem. And what does this old brain look like?
* '''Lae'zel''': A hovering mass of grey matter, sprouted with lethal tentacles and oozing cerebrospinal fluid.
* '''Astarion''': Right... Good. Glad I asked.
<hr>
(At [[Rivington]])
* '''Astarion''': I used to like this neighbourhood. It was quieter than inside the walls - darker too.
* '''Lae'zel''': A good hunting ground, then?
* '''Astarion''': Oh, yes - slimmer pickings, but safer targets. The perfect place to learn the craft.
<hr>
(At [[The Blushing Mermaid]])
* '''Astarion''': Ah. This place never changes.
* '''Lae'zel''': Perhaps it should. All I see are carousing fools.
* '''Astarion''': I know, isn't it wonderful? Endless opportunities for mischief.
<hr>
(At [[Bhaal Temple]])
* '''Astarion''': I expected a temple to murder would be more fun. A little joyous, even.
* '''Lae'zel''': There's no greater pleasure than battle. You face your enemy and conquer them, blade to blade, spell to spell.
* '''Lae'zel''': But to take a life unawares is no more to be celebrated than plunging a dagger into a trapped rat.
* '''Astarion''': Oh, I don't know - I've killed plenty of rats. I celebrated every time.
<hr>
(At [[Steel Watch Foundry]])
* '''Lae'zel''': These Steel Watchers are impressive achievements. Worthy opponents, even for githyanki.
* '''Astarion''': In that case, I'll leave fighting them to you. So I can observe your technique.
* '''Lae'zel''': I'm sure you'll find it instructive. Or do you simply want to avoid risking your pallid neck?
* '''Astarion''': Perish the thought - we're comrades in arms! I will be right behind you.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Lae'zel; after act 1 romance scene'')
* '''Astarion''': Would you believe, I've never been with a githyanki.
* '''Lae'zel''': If you cease your frivolous ways, keep your mouth closed, and learn to obey, perhaps we can attempt it.
* '''Astarion''': Haha! No, I think I will leave that honour to our esteemed friend.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Lae'zel; after act 2 romance scene'')
* '''Astarion''': So Lae'zel, things seem to be getting serious with you two. Do you have pet names for each other yet?
* '''Lae'zel''': 'Pet' names? As if we were domesticated animals?
* '''Astarion''': Gods, you have so much to learn. Repeat after me: honey muffin, sweetie pie, sugarplum.
* '''Lae'zel''': Honey muffin, sweetie pie - Astarion, do you see all your lovers as food?
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Lae'zel; after act 3 romance scene'')
* '''Lae'zel''': You say you have had many lovers, Astarion. If that is true, where are they now?
* '''Astarion''': They weren't lovers... not in the way that you mean. They wanted me more than I wanted them.
* '''Astarion''': I used that to my advantage more times than I care to remember.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 1 romance scene'')
* '''Lae'zel''': Why have you not tried to lay with me, Astarion?
* '''Lae'zel''': It is in your nature to have tried. You have not.
* '''Astarion''': No, and you're so charming and alluring. It's baffling, really.
* '''Astarion''': I guess it shall remain a mystery, now and forevermore.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 2 romance scene'')
* '''Lae'zel''': The more I learn of this plane, Astarion, the more I believe 'love' is its greatest disease.
* '''Astarion''': Oh, I don't know. The screaming fever is pretty bad.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn'')
* '''Lae'zel''': Astarion, I note you and your lover struggle to keep your hands off one another.
* '''Lae'zel''': It makes you less watchful. We're panting after battle, and already your maws are glued.
* '''Astarion''': We're having fun. I would say 'try it, it won't kill you', but in your case I'm not sure.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant'')
* '''Lae'zel''': You have shared your new power with your lover, Astarion. I'm surprised - I expected you to turn your back once you got what you wanted.
* '''Astarion''': Quite the opposite - I need someone I can trust. And now I know they'll never betray me.

=== {{Banter|Shadowheart}} ===
* '''Astarion''': So, you and Lae'zel? Seems tense.
* '''Shadowheart''': Please, don't remind me. But keep your guard up with her.
* '''Astarion''': Noted.
<hr>
* '''Astarion''': So, do you have loves waiting for you once this is all over?
* '''Gale''': You know what - that is not the easiest of questions for me to answer.
* '''Shadowheart''': You mean just waiting, like a lovesick puppy? Short-term amusements are much less hassle.
<hr>
* '''Shadowheart''': Do you have someone waiting for you in Baldur's Gate, Astarion? A sweetheart perhaps?
(''If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Astarion''': Not one in particular. The city is a veritable feast of sweethearts.
* '''Shadowheart''': You must be eager to get back then. Slimmer pickings out in this wilderness.
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Astarion''': No sweethearts, no. I prefer them savoury.
* '''Shadowheart''': This is what I get for trying to strike up conversation.
<hr>
* '''Astarion''': Shadowheart. Such a grim name for such a beautiful flower.
(''If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Shadowheart''': I heard you mumbling that line to yourself earlier - it needs more work.
* '''Lae'zel''': Fortunate for his tongue he didn't say it to me.
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Shadowheart''': Could you not stare so blatantly at my neck when you say that please?
* '''Lae'zel''': Oh, but do keep calling her 'flower'. She'll love that.
<hr>
* '''Astarion''': Goblins are such vile little parasites.
(''If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Shadowheart''': Not the vilest any of us have seen of late, unfortunately.
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Shadowheart''': Given your own nature, are you really the one to judge?
<hr>
* '''Shadowheart''': You know what I really miss about Baldur's Gate? The food. Freshest fish I've ever had.
* '''Astarion''': I don't care for fish. Red meat - now that's a different matter. Rare as can be... dripping.
* '''Shadowheart''': Well unless we find a cure you won't have any teeth to chew it with soon enough.
<hr>
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Shadowheart''': So, Astarion. Which of us would you rather feed on? If you had free rein?
* '''Astarion''': Ah! Wyll. No question. He's strong, fast, and righteous. I'm salivating already.
* '''Shadowheart''': Hmm... interesting.
* '''Astarion''': You sound disappointed. I'll bite you if you ask.
* '''Shadowheart''': I'm sure you would. Don't sound so eager.
<hr>
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Shadowheart''': So. A vampire spawn and a monster hunter in the same group. We're not going to have trouble, are we?
* '''Astarion''': Excuse me? Since this tadpole, I'm barely a monster at all.
* '''Astarion''': I just want to survive, same as you.
* '''Wyll''': I don't see a problem, as long as mister fang there keeps his appetite in check.
<hr>
(At [[Sunlit Wetlands]])
* '''Shadowheart''': Ugh, I hate swamps. The place reeks - probably full of bloodsuckers as well.
(''If Astarion has tried to bite Shadowheart'')
* '''Astarion''': I can't blame them. You're delicious.
* '''Shadowheart''': If that was an attempt at flirting, I should let you know I prefer the strong, silent type.
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Astarion''': Shadowheart! You wound me.
(''If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Astarion''': Probably.
<hr>
(In the [[Underdark]])
* '''Shadowheart''': Such depth to the shadows... I don't care what others say about the Underdark - it's beautiful down here.
(''If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Astarion''': I've spent long enough in the dark. It gets old.
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Astarion''': I'm used to a crypt's gloom. This is something else.
<hr>
(Near [[Rosymorn Monastery]])
* '''Shadowheart''': I didn't exactly dress for hiking mountains. Shame we couldn't procure some pack mules, or horses.
* '''Astarion''': Horses? Perish the thought - those ill-tempered beasts are prone to biting.
* '''Shadowheart''': Well, so are you, but we keep you around, don't we?
* '''Astarion''': And I'm not offering any rides, if that's what you're thinking.
<hr>
(At [[Shadow-Cursed Lands]] Forest)
* '''Astarion''': These woods feel unsettling - like they're dangling on the edge between life and death.
* '''Shadowheart''': Isn't that how you feel all the time, Astarion? I thought you'd find it comforting.
* '''Astarion''': Funny. Very funny.
<hr>
(At [[Ruined Battlefield]])
* '''Shadowheart''': Imagine what this place was like, on the day of the battle. The ground must have been covered with the dead...
* '''Astarion''': A tragedy - just think of all that wasted blood.
* '''Shadowheart''': You wouldn't actually feed in the wake of a battle, would you? You're not a vulture.
* '''Astarion''': Oh, I don't know. I've fed on things that would disgust most vultures.
<hr>
(''At [[Last Light Inn]], if it's protected'')
* '''Astarion''': Gods, whoever thought I'd be happy to see the Flaming Fist?
* '''Astarion''': Being in a land of cursed, angry shadows, you start to see things in a new light.
* '''Shadowheart''': Admit it - you're just glad to see some potential meals walking about after all those bloodless shadows.
<hr>
(At [[Reithwin Tollhouse]])
* '''Shadowheart''': I have to ask, Astarion. Do people taste different from one another, when you feed?
* '''Astarion''': It all depends. A clean neck certainly helps.
* '''Shadowheart''': Come on, you know I'm talking about their blood.
* '''Astarion''': Of course, there are different vintages. Young noble is wonderful if you can get it, but crone has its charms too.
<hr>
(At [[House of Healing]])
* '''Astarion''': It's a long time since I was in a house of healing. Gods, it's depressing.
* '''Shadowheart''': I suppose you don't have much use for hospitals... unless you're seeking to steal their blood stock.
* '''Astarion''': True, although I don't heal as fast as I used to. The one downside to the tadpole, I suppose.
* '''Shadowheart''': The one downside? I think you might have stopped the count too soon...
<hr>
(At [[Gauntlet of Shar]])
* '''Astarion''': I do like it down here. It's nice. Homey.
(''If it is known that Shadowheart is a follower of Shar'')
* '''Shadowheart''': This temple is positively dripping with power and dark beauty - is homey truly the first word that springs to mind?
(''If it is not known that Shadowheart is a follower of Shar'')
* '''Shadowheart''': This is a dedication to my goddess' power and dark beauty. Homey is not the first word that comes to mind.
<hr>
(At [[Gauntlet of Shar]])
* '''Shadowheart''': You're uncharacteristically quiet, Astarion. Awed into silence?
* '''Astarion''': Awed? By this? Please - size isn't everything. At least when it comes to temples.
* '''Shadowheart''': Well what would impress you, then?
* '''Astarion''': Oh, I don't know, but a little more colour wouldn't hurt. All the black and purple just makes me think of bruises...
<hr>
(At [[Moonrise Towers]])
* '''Shadowheart''': This must have been quite a place, in its heyday. Could you ever picture yourself living here, Astarion? You know, assuming the riff-raff were cleared out?
* '''Astarion''': Tempting, but it's not really for me.
* '''Shadowheart''': Really? Even with all these chambers, and the commanding views? You could live like a lord.
* '''Astarion''': But I'd have to climb so many stairs. Anyway, I already have my eye on a palace in Baldur's Gate.
<hr>
(At the entrance to the [[Guildhall]])
* '''Astarion''': What a delightfully secluded alley. I would have been in my element here, once.
* '''Shadowheart''': But you consort with a better class of people now, right?
* '''Astarion''': A different class of person. And a different type of consorting.
* '''Shadowheart''': Let's just stop this conversation right here, shall we?
<hr>
(At [[Guildhall]])
* '''Astarion''': Well, well. The fabled haunt of Nine-Fingers Keene.
* '''Shadowheart''': Never visited before? I thought you got around.
* '''Astarion''': I always steered clear. If Guild members started disappearing, people would start asking questions. And Cazador hated questions.
* '''Shadowheart''': Understandable, when the answer is invariably 'the silver-haired one ate them'.
<hr>
(At [[Philgrave's Mansion]])
* '''Shadowheart''': A distinct whiff of undeath to this place... though curious, I can't say I've ever noticed the same about you, Astarion.
* '''Astarion''': My 'whiff' is very faint, thank you - nothing a little bergamot, rosemary, and a hint of aged brandy can't hide.
* '''Astarion''': It's the perfect olfactory disguise for a corpse. Honestly, I missed my calling as a perfumer.
* '''Shadowheart''': You've clearly thought this through a great deal. I'm impressed and appalled in equal measure.
<hr>
(At [[The Counting House]])
* '''Shadowheart''': I don't suppose you really have much use for gold, do you, Astarion?
* '''Astarion''': It's not required, but it is nice to have. It buys any number of ways to keep life interesting.
* '''Shadowheart''': Go on then, coyness isn't in your nature. What would you do with unlimited funds?
* '''Astarion''': Let's just say blood tastes better from a gold goblet, and silk bedsheets improve any night-time activity.
<hr>
(At [[Szarr Palace]])
* '''Shadowheart''': So, Astarion. Vampire dens - what should I expect?
* '''Astarion''': Vampires would be a safe bet.
* '''Shadowheart''': Hilarious. You belong on stage - perhaps the bloodstained sort, with a hooded man standing by, axe in hand.
* '''Astarion''': So long as there's a cheering crowd. As for vampire dens, I'd brace your nose. They can be very... organic.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Shadowheart; after act 1 romance scene'')
* '''Shadowheart''': Do vampires actually usually drink blood out of goblets like in the storybooks? Doesn't seem very fresh.
* '''Astarion''': Straight from the neck is preferred, but goblets are used in mortal company. They save on awkwardness.
* '''Astarion''': We could share a drink some night, if you're curious. A nice red wine in your goblet, of course.
* '''Shadowheart''': Very kind of you, but I'm saving my best bottle for someone already.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Shadowheart; after act 2 romance scene'')
* '''Shadowheart''': Living without sunlight isn't so bad, Astarion. Where I came from, we would often work exclusively under cover of darkness.
* '''Astarion''': Yes, but you chose darkness. I was cast into it.
* '''Astarion''': The sun was banished from my life - forbidden. And we all lust after the forbidden, don't we?
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Shadowheart; after act 3 romance scene'')
* '''Shadowheart''': I'm probably more at home in the water than you now, Astarion.
* '''Astarion''': Probably. Although I am two hundred years out of practice. Running water is no place for vampires.
* '''Astarion''': But perhaps I'll join you for a dip once everything is done. Then we could see who's best.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 1 romance scene'')
* '''Shadowheart''': I can't quite believe you've been a pick-up artist all these years, Astarion.
* '''Shadowheart''': Most of the things you say still sound like you're in a two-copper paperback read by little girls.
* '''Astarion''': I sound like a charming rake, you mean? The hero everyone fawns over?
* '''Astarion''': Well, if the doublet fits...
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn'') 
* '''Astarion''': What a delightfully secluded alley. I would have been in my element here, once.
* '''Shadowheart''': But you consort with a better class of people now, right?
* '''Astarion''': A different class of person. And a different type of consorting.
* '''Shadowheart''': Let's just stop this conversation right here, shall we?
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant'')

(''Note: pronouns change depending on player's gender'')
* '''Shadowheart''': Something has changed about our friend, hasn't it? But I can't quite put my finger on it.
* '''Astarion''': They're a vampire.
* '''Shadowheart''': This hungry look in their eyes... The haunted complexion... What could it mean?
* '''Astarion''': They're a vampire.

=== {{Banter|Wyll}} ===
* '''Astarion''': A question for our master monster hunter: how would you approach killing a vampire?
(''If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Wyll''': To start? Lure it into the sun, drive a stake through its heart. Why?
* '''Astarion''': Just curious.
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Wyll''': A full-on vamp, you mean? Lure it into the sun, drive a stake through its heart.
* '''Wyll''': And that's not the end of it. The suckers are wily. No offence.
* '''Astarion''': None taken. Wiliness keeps me alive. More or less.
<hr>
* '''Astarion''': Ever heard of a vampire called Cazador, Wyll?
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Wyll''': I don't think so. Why? Friend of yours?
(''If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Wyll''': Doesn't ring a bell. Why?
* '''Gale''': He's patriarch of the Szarr family. Nasty fellow, if the histories are accurate.
* '''Astarion''': I imagine they are.
<hr>
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Wyll''': Killed a few giant bats in my day, Astarion - but never hunted a vampire.
* '''Astarion''': Just to remind you, I'm merely a spawn. It won't count.
* '''Astarion''': But if you want a true vampire, I'm happy to recommend one.
<hr>
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Shadowheart''': So. A vampire spawn and a monster hunter in the same group. We're not going to have trouble, are we?
* '''Astarion''': Excuse me? Since this tadpole, I'm barely a monster at all.
* '''Astarion''': I just want to survive, same as you.
* '''Wyll''': I don't see a problem, as long as mister fang there keeps his appetite in check.
<hr>
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Wyll''': Astarion, how is the rat diet going?
* '''Astarion''': It may soon come to an end if you don't shut your mouth.
<hr>
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Wyll''': I'm feeling a bit parched and peckish.
* '''Astarion''': Me too. Keep an eye out for any passing vagrants.
* '''Wyll''': I'm afraid you'll have to content yourself with vagrant chickens.
<hr>
(At [[Forest]])
* '''Astarion''': Well, it's no Baldur's Gate, but at least it's some kind of civilisation.
* '''Wyll''': I do miss the Gate, though. The Elfsong Tavern! Sunset over Grey Harbour! Fried fish at the docks!
* '''Astarion''': Drunk young patriars, naked in the fountains! Ah, civilisation...
<hr>
(At [[Forest]])
* '''Wyll''': As much love as I hold for Baldur's Gate, these frontiers delight me as much as any bustling street.
* '''Astarion''': You can't be serious? This is a howling wasteland!
* '''Astarion''': I haven't even had a bath since the abduction. I must reek of illithid slime.
* '''Wyll''': Sure, but think of the stories you'll be able to tell.
<hr>
''(After encountering [[Auntie Ethel]])''
* '''Wyll''': Ethel mentioned Netherese magic. What in blazes does that mean?
* '''Gale''': Magic from the fallen empire of Netheril. Ancient, exceedingly dangerous, and quite unrivalled.
* '''Astarion''': Wonderful! I'd hate to be destroyed by any common old magic.
<hr>
(In the [[Underdark]])
* '''Astarion''': Spent much time in the Underdark?
(''If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Wyll''': I've slayed a death dog or six, crossed a few duergar.
* '''Wyll''': I never was scared of the shadows.
(''If it is known that Astarion is a vampire'')
* '''Wyll''': Some. And you? Seems a perfect hunting ground for... you know.
* '''Astarion''': Perfect? You try drinking an earth elemental's blood.
<hr>
(On the road to [[Shadow-Cursed Lands]])
* '''Astarion''': I used to be agog at everything when I first walked in the sun. Perhaps I'm adjusting to this new life.
* '''Wyll''': It's when you use words like 'agog' that I remember you're actually two centuries old.
* '''Astarion''': And it's when you think 'agog' is an impressive word that I remember you're just a child.
<hr>
(At [[Shadow-Cursed Lands]] Fisherman's Hut)
* '''Wyll''': To think how vibrant this place must have once been. Children playing, merchants hawking. Real people living real lives.
* '''Astarion''': I know, can you imagine the noise? This is much more peaceful.
* '''Wyll''': Come, Astarion. I know you're not really as heartless as all that.
* '''Astarion''': Of course not, I'm a pussycat really. Just ask anyone who's seen my claws.
<hr>
(Approaching [[Moonrise Towers]])
* '''Wyll''': Finally, we're approaching Moonrise Towers.
* '''Astarion''': Nothing escapes the Blade of Frontiers' keen senses, I see.
* '''Wyll''': Mock me all you want, Astarion. We could use a little comic relief.
* '''Astarion''': Yes, that's why I'm mocking you - to keep our spirits up. No other reason...
<hr>
(At [[Moonrise Towers]] [[Oubliette]])
* '''Astarion''': Admittedly, I don't care for most people, but this is a terrible waste.
* '''Wyll''': Because their lives were cut brutally short, you mean.
* '''Astarion''': I - ... yes, that. That's clearly what I was referring to.
<hr>
(At [[Wyrm's Rock Fortress]])
* '''Wyll''': The city fell under Gortash's charms without him casting nary a spell.
* '''Astarion''': Well, most people are idiots, Wyll. You can lure them into a dragon's maw if you promise a bag of sweets.
* '''Wyll''': The people aren't stupid, Astarion - they're scared. Gortash provoked a damned war, and then promised them safety.
* '''Astarion''': Safety, sweets - it's the same principle.
<hr>
(At [[Wyrmway]])
* '''Astarion''': I lived two centuries in this city, but it can still surprise me.
* '''Wyll''': Baldur's Gate harbours many a secret. Even the longest-lived explorers have yet to uncover them all.
* '''Wyll''': Speaking of - what were you getting up to all those years?
* '''Astarion''': Let's not get into the details. If Baldur's Gate can have its secrets, so can I.
<hr>
(At [[Bloomridge Park]])
* '''Astarion''': You know, I've never seen this place in the daylight before.
* '''Wyll''': I always loved this park. Spent a lot of time here as a boy battling imaginary monsters.
* '''Astarion''': Oh, I was going to say it looks wretched. The dark hid all the kitschy details.
<hr>
(At [[The Blushing Mermaid]])
* '''Wyll''': Ah - the memories. The Blushing Mermaid's where fifteen-year-old Wyll snuck his first kiss.
* '''Astarion''': You didn't kiss anyone until you were fifteen? Gods, what a tragic, sheltered life...
* '''Wyll''': Sheltered? Not at all. I was exposed to all manner of riot and revelry. Hells, my father even urged me on once or twice.
* '''Wyll''': But I've always been a bit old-fashioned on these matters. I find more pleasure in a courtly dance than a loveless fling.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Wyll; after act 1 romance scene'')
* '''Astarion''': I hardly saw you at the party. Did the honest and true Blade sneak off for a little fun?
* '''Wyll''': No! Nothing like that at all.
* '''Astarion''': Oh, but you protest too much. Now I know you were practicing your swordplay.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Wyll; after act 2 romance scene'')
* '''Wyll''': I'm surprised I never saw you lurking in the shadows at any Baldurian balls, Astarion.
* '''Astarion''': The city's elite was not my target audience, alas.
* '''Astarion''': People ask questions when members of the nobility disappear, and the last thing Cazador wanted was people asking questions.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Wyll; after act 3 romance scene'')
* '''Astarion''': Marriage, Wyll? I thought you'd have learned not to get trapped by devious contracts.
* '''Wyll''': I was planning to invite you to the ceremony, but I'm having second thoughts.
* '''Astarion''': I'd love to come! As long as I can sit with someone fun. Mizora, perhaps?
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 1 romance scene'')
* '''Wyll''': I'd watch yourself, my friend. I don't know if our pale rogue has anything good in his heart, or even a scrap of it left for you.
* '''Astarion''': Excuse me? That's just mean - we're all adults here.
* '''Wyll''': Your heart's cold as ice, Astarion. I'm just making sure no one slips and gets hurt.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 2 romance scene'')
* '''Wyll''': Astarion, I just want to say - I judged you wrongly. I'm sorry.
* '''Astarion''': Really? And how - specifically - have you misjudged my fine character?
* '''Wyll''': You aren't actually insufferably randy. You're just insufferable.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn'')
* '''Wyll''': Astarion, I was wrong about you. Truly wrong about you.
* '''Astarion''': Let me guess - you thought I'd suck blood, but actually I just suck? Was that your witty jab?
* '''Wyll''': No, I mean it. There's little between us we share. But you've fallen in love and stood by your lover. That is something this dreamer's heart can appreciate.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant'')
* '''Wyll''': The two of you are the unholiest union I can bloody imagine.
* '''Astarion''': It's funny - I don't recall asking your opinion, Wyll.
* '''Wyll''': You had the most precious thing - someone who would do everything for you - and you damn well took everything. 'Degenerate' doesn't half cut it.

=== {{Banter|Halsin}} ===
* '''Halsin''': What do you know of Umberlee, Astarion?
* '''Astarion''': Oh, lots. Rhymes with 'under-sea' for one thing. Fitting, eh?
* '''Halsin''': I... I suppose it is, yes. But perhaps do not refer to her as such - she is a vengeful, capricious goddess. Who knows what may cause her ire.
* '''Astarion''': But she's fine with 'the Bitch Queen'? Give her some credit, Halsin.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Halsin in act 3'')
* '''Astarion''': I hear things got wild between you two. I hope no one was too badly mauled.
* '''Halsin''': We're all in one piece. Perhaps you'll join us next time.
* '''Astarion''': It's bad enough having one person with fangs trying to keep control of themselves. Two of us could be dangerous.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn'')
* '''Halsin''': Astarion, I am astonished. To relish in intimacy again after such hardship is a wound many never recover from.
* '''Astarion''': Are you charging for this sage advice, or is sticking your nose into my business just a hobby?
* '''Halsin''': Jest all you will. I believe now in your honest heart.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant'')
* '''Halsin''': To give oneself wholly, and to have a lover totally in your thrall...? A harmless game, until it becomes real. I worry for the two of you, Astarion.
* '''Halsin''': For your sake, I hope some of it is just a fantasy, deep in your heart.
* '''Astarion''': Must you take everything so seriously? We're both happy with our arrangement - that's all that matters.

=== {{Banter|Minthara}} ===
(In [[Shadow-Cursed Lands]])
* '''Minthara''': The shadows have lingered here so long, the land itself is corroded. A most persistent curse.
* '''Astarion''': I think I know a thing or two about persistent curses, thank you.
* '''Minthara''': The rashes and sores you may have contracted over your decades of philandering are not the kind of curse that concerns me.
<hr>
(''At [[Last Light Inn]], if it's cursed'')
* '''Minthara''': Devoured by the darkness. They should have retreated while they had the chance.
* '''Astarion''': And yet here we stand. We're either very clever or very lucky.
* '''Minthara''': You do not need luck to survive, Astarion. Not when you have me.
<hr>
(At [[Grand Mausoleum]])
* '''Astarion''': Ah, no shadow curse, plenty of funerary decor - I almost feel at home.
* '''Minthara''': Stop gawking at the decor, spawn. This place is dangerous.
* '''Astarion''': Yes, as I said - just like home.
<hr>
(''After defeating [[Ketheric Thorm]]'')
* '''Minthara''': Did you expect to survive Myrkul's wrath, little spawn?
* '''Astarion''': You'd be surprised, drow. I've survived a lot of things.
* '''Minthara''': Greater horrors await us in Baldur's Gate. Best sharpen your fangs.
<hr>
(At [[Wyrm's Rock Fortress]])
* '''Astarion''': So many dark nooks and crannies - this fortress is a lurker's paradise.
* '''Minthara''': Would you not prefer basking in the sun like a lizard now that it no longer blisters your pretty skin?
* '''Astarion''': Old habits die hard, darling. Surely you know that.
<hr>
(At [[Bonecloak's Basement]])
* '''Astarion''': No, this place feels all too 'Underdark'y for me.
* '''Minthara''': You are speaking of my home, spawn. It is pleasant to be reminded of it.
* '''Astarion''': Oh dear - you're not going to come over all pleasant and homely, are you?
* '''Minthara''': To you? Doubtful.
<hr>
(At [[Szarr Palace]])
* '''Minthara''': Ominous, yet austere. This place has its charms.
* '''Astarion''': We're both learning a lot. Cazador kept this place all to himself.
* '''Minthara''': I do not blame him. It is not the sort of place servants or spawn should sully with their presence.
<hr>
(At ?)
* '''Minthara''': Our illithid warns us away from what lies beyond that gate, but perhaps it underestimates us.
* '''The Emperor''': You should listen to your illithid. It knows your weaknesses as well as it knows the brain's strengths.
* '''Astarion''': Care to share any of Minthara's weaknesses? Or would it take too long to go through them all?
* '''Minthara''': Watch your tongue, spawn. I need the illithid alive - you are expendable.
<hr>
(At [[Morphic Pool]])
* '''Astarion''': We're getting close. I do believe fate is shuffling the cards for the final deal.
* '''Minthara''': Let the cards fall. We have a strong hand to play.
* '''Astarion''': And speaking personally, I intend to cheat.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Minthara; after act 2 romance scene'')
* '''Astarion''': So how does Lolth feel about romance? Are you expected to bite your mate's head off afterwards?
* '''Minthara''': Be grateful I no longer follow the Spider Queen's teachings. If I did, you would be the first to fall into my web.
* '''Astarion''': I can't tell if you're joking. She is joking, right?
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Minthara; after act 3 romance scene'')
* '''Astarion''': So, what's it like caring for someone other than yourself, Minthara?
* '''Minthara''': You have never tried it, I assume.
* '''Astarion''': Gods no. It sounds like a lot of work.
* '''Minthara''': It takes less work than you devote to maintaining your foppish facade. And it's far more rewarding.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 2 romance scene'')
* '''Minthara''': Half the men of Menzoberranzan are pleasure-servants. Weaklings, whose beauty is their only redeeming quality.
* '''Minthara''': You would fit right in with them, Astarion.
* '''Astarion''': You think I'm beautiful? Oh, Minthara.
* '''Minthara''': Hrmmph.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn'')
* '''Minthara''': Are you a better man now that you are loved, Astarion? Did they mend your ways?
* '''Astarion''': I rather think they did. Can't imagine anyone wanting to do that for you, though dear.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant'')
* '''Minthara''': Would you ever consider sharing the gift of immortality with me, Astarion?
* '''Astarion''': I think not. That is for me and my darling to share.
* '''Minthara''': If they have prevented your eyes and fangs from wandering to other necks, it must be a special bond indeed.

=== {{Banter|Jaheira}} ===
(In the North Alleys)
* '''Jaheira''': Never mind the shining squares - I am more comfortable on streets such as this. A peek at the true face behind the mask.
* '''Astarion''': Yet another thing we have in common. We're two peas in a pod.
* '''Jaheira''': I said a peek behind the city's mask, Astarion - not a look up its skirts.
* '''Astarion''': Jaheira! What do you think of me?
<hr>
(In the Lower City)
* '''Astarion''': Cazazdor always warned us to stay clear of this neighbourhood. Never said why, though.
* '''Jaheira''': The last spawn who tried was sunk into the cobblestones and left for the sun to find. I had an unfortunate taste for theatrics, in my youth.
* '''Astarion''': Ah. Yes, that was probably it.
<hr>
(In the Lower City)
* '''Astarion''': Beyond that gate is the Upper City, housing the great and the good of Baldur's Gate.
* '''Jaheira''': You yearn for a better class of company, Astarion?
* '''Astarion''': Gods no - who'd want to spend time with anyone great or good?
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn'')
* '''Jaheira''': I am glad it is your non-vampiric charms our friend has fallen for, Astarion. It is, isn't it?
* '''Astarion''': Of course! Is it so unbelievable that they would simply like me?
* '''Astarion''': If you insist on prying, perhaps you'd care to join us and see how much we enjoy one another?
* '''Jaheira''': Why? Do you require some instruction on how the deed is done?
* '''Astarion''': I'm sure even I could learn some new tricks from an old veteran such as yourself.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant'')
* '''Jaheira''': You consumed all the spawn in your service, lord Astarion. You shall have to fend for yourself a while.
* '''Astarion''': Oh, I've never had trouble attracting foolish, pretty people.
* '''Jaheira''': Nor did Cazador, it seems.
* '''Astarion''': Jaheira! ... You think I'm pretty?

=== {{Banter|Minsc}} ===
(At Basilisk Gate)
* '''Minsc''': Ah, but it is a fine thing to walk with friends beneath the warming sun!
* '''Astarion''': Friends' might be a stretch, but otherwise - yes, I fully agree!
* '''Minsc''': You might have your cloudy locks to keep the heat off your head, but do not forget that Minsc has Boo! We will be like twins, eh?
* '''Astarion''': We will? Gods - two hundred years and I've never missed seeing my reflection more.
<hr>
(At Eastern Docks)
* '''Minsc''': ASTARION! FISH! ASTARION!
* '''Astarion''': Minsc, please - slow down. Use your words.
* '''Minsc''': Minsc has thought how you might be a more virtuous vampire - feast on fish instead. They are made of naught but neck!
* '''Astarion''': It's a sweet thought, but fish just doesn't have the flavour of full-blooded red meat.
* '''Minsc''': No, you do not 'agree', Boo. I told you you have been spending far too much time around the pale one...
<hr>
(At Harborview Park)
* '''Minsc''': Oh, I do not know, Boo. If you buried the nuts here before we were stone, I am thinking they might have gone bad.
* '''Astarion''': Minsc! Enough! The hamster isn't saying a damn thing and you know it.
* '''Minsc''': Well, Astarion. Boo is of good breeding, and so only speaks when he has something nice to say.
* '''Minsc''': Perhaps this is why he has never seen fit to speak to you.
* '''Astarion''': How delightfully vicious. I'm beginning to like the hamster.
<hr>
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn'')
* '''Minsc''': Sorry if you heard me and Boo arguing. He says to love is better than to fight, and I cannot agree!
* '''Astarion''': Maybe you should listen to the rodent more often. Exclusively, even.
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn'')
* '''Minsc''': No, Boo. Astarion is a friend now - he would never bite you.
* '''Minsc''': Yes, vampire?
* '''Astarion''': Yes... I mean - no? I am not interested in biting the rodent is the point.
* '''Astarion''': Not least because he lives in your trousers...
<hr>
(''If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant'')
* '''Minsc''': Do not think your twinkly-eyed wiles will work on us, vampire lord.
* '''Astarion''': Oh, I know I could never tempt you, but maybe your little friend would like to perch on a more elegant shoulder?
* '''Minsc''': Do not look into his eyes, Boo! Think not of nesting in his thick and downy mane!
* '''Astarion''': You'll never know unless you try. Just once? Maybe you'll like it.

[[Category:Banter]]