Minsc/banter

A collection of Minsc's remarks and overhead conversations with other characters.

Remarks

Selected

Evil hides, and Boo seeks!
Have you met my hamster?
Sword at my side and hamster at hand.
Justice, truth, and the virtuous boot.
Steel sharp, hamster hungry.
Life is simple, and so is Minsc.
The city reeks of evil! Or perhaps Boo just needs to bathe.
Another day, another dajemma.
Justice walks on four feet. And sleeps in my boot.
My boot craves the crunch of unvirtuous nethers.
Sleep with one eye open, evil. Maybe both.
Every kicked buttock, another step on the path.
Boo says: What?

Selected (in combat)

To glory! Or glorious death.
You point, I punch.
Can we fight now? Boo is not used to this taking of turns.
To arms! Wait, no - to swords!
Butt-kicking, for goodness!
Go for the eyes, Boo!
Weep if you wish. Minsc will not judge.
I have missed this. The adventure. The danger. The kicking of butts!
Swallow your battle cries, fiend - and wash them down with steel!

Selected (sneaking)

Minsc waits. Boo watches.
Still as stone? I have had the practice.
Wait - you can see me?
See how still Boo lies? He dreams of evil's doom!
WHAT? Wait. Shh.
Sneaking, sneaking, sneaking.
I am - soverystealthy.
It is difficult to charge from down here.
CRAMP!
Head-high to a halfling.
Better to look evil in the eye. Even if it be very small.
Butt-level, all the better for the kicking.

Selection spam

ARGH! My EYE, Boo! They went for my EYE!
Know that if you poke Boo, no higher dimension will keep you safe!
Heehee. Heeheeheehee.
Well, Boo? How do you want to do this?

Selection spam (in combat)

Are you perchance a squeaky wheel in need of a kick?
I am armed! Armoured! And entirely sick of your foolishness.
I begin to grow annoyed. It is well for you that Boo does not let me learn the bad words!
Ignore them, Boo. Let them gaze deep into their own abyss, and wonder just what it is they are trying to achieve.

Selection spam (sneaking)

A little to the left? But not so hard you make me giggle.
Boo...? Are you dancing down there, or...?
Hush! I am surprising Boo for his birthday! He is... uh... eh... how old do hamsters get...?
I am the night. A pity, then, that it is so bright out.

Moving

Where Boo leads, Minsc follows.
Cometh the hour, cometh the hamster.
Catch the clicker, Boo!
Where Minsc plants his boot, goodness grows.
Stand aside, evil! Legend coming through!
Leap now, look later.
Dig your graves, evil! Minsc and Boo come to tuck you in.
You cannot hide, evil! Boo smells your bubbling guts a mile away!
Less prattle, more battle!
When all of this is done, Boo will dine on tadpole for a month.
Camaraderie! Adventure! Violence!
Tonight, Boo dines on foe-flesh.
Tonight - Boo dines on foe-flesh.
Minsc takes orders from only one tiny beast, and he is much cuter than a worm. Yes he is. Yes he is.

Moving (in combat)

Boo breaks the hearts, Minsc breaks the bones!
Villainous face, meet virtuous fist!
My hamster has dined on god-flesh! You are but a tiny crumb!
Feel the backhand of justice!
Boo is napping - so die in silence, evil!
Boo says smite! That means I must hit you very hard, I think.
Charge! But charge quietly.
Someone hold Boo! He will not enjoy the bumpings to come.
Someone hold Boo! He does not enjoy the bumpings to come.
Boo's battle cry is too high for your hearing - but you should tremble all the same.

Moving (sneaking)

Soft and sure as hunting hamsters.
Feet light as feathers, and softer than Boo's.
See how the hamster stalks his prey.
Just tell me when to shout my battle cry.
A berserker's knees are not made for all this bending.
Quietly, Boo.
Soften my step, Boo! No - get out of my boot.
The hunter stalks his prey. The hamster waits for the fun to start.

Hiding

Let us tread soft and sure as hunting hamsters.
Still this patter of paws, Boo - we must be quiet.
Butt-level, all the better for the kicking.
I am. Soverystealthy.

Hiding (in combat)

It is difficult to charge from down here.
I do not like this bendy battle-stance.
Quick Boo - sit on my skull, so the light does not betray us!
Remember, Minsc. Quiet battle cries only.
Boo - say BOO!
The hunter stalks his prey. The hamster naps until the action starts.

At low health

Boo does his best to hold my wounds closed, but some healing might help.
Hah, these wounds might have killed a lesser warrior! Although... that is a lot of blood.
Healing, quickly, or Boo shall have to find another mount!

Can't fit in a small hole

Do not send a ranger to do a hamster's job, hm?

Can't fit in a tiny hole

Truly? Now Minsc thinks you are making mock.

Can't use an item

Not now, perhaps.
Not working.
No.
It's no use.

Can't use an item while in combat

Eh, not now. Perhaps Boo can hold it for you?
Not now!
Battle first, thingy later.
Ah-ah. A berserker needs both hands, the better to squeeze at evil's skull.

Finding a locked item

OPEN! No, that did not work. Perhaps there is another way.
It must be unsealed elsewhere.
Hm. Sealed tighter than a Thayan's heart.
We shall have to open it elsewhere, Boo? And not with my skull? Strange.

Looking at a globe

We have travelled far and wide, Boo, but I know not this land of... 'globe'?

Looking at an astrolabe

Boo! Can you see your house from here?

Looking into a mirror

Bounce light all you wish, little mirror. Minsc will only bounce it back!
Boo, Minsc has something in his teeth. Would you mind...?
Perhaps I should paint the rest of my skull. What say you, Boo?

Looking into a telescope

Observe, Boo. Perhaps we shall see your miniature giant space mother, soaring across the skies.

Surprised by mimic

Eat me once, shame on you. Eat me twice - WATCH IT!
Down, beast! Minsc is too much of a mouthful for your kind.

After a Short Rest

Watch out, evil. None nap so powerfully as Boo!
My hamster, he is so full of beans!
I did not sleep. I did not snore. It was a battle-trance.
Ah, but it was good to feel the breeze between my toes. Back to the road.

On character death

Player:

A noble soul has fallen! Boo will reap the vengeance of a thousand tiny bites!

Player (Dark Urge):

Our friend has fallen! Guard the body, Boo, so a priest might stuff the soul back in!

Lae'zel:

I know you do not fall so easily, gith child. On your feet!

Shadowheart:

Shadowheart, no! Stand, so you might mock Minsc again!

Karlach:

Karlach - NO! Boo, we must heap more fuel upon her flames!

Jaheira:

There are many who thought they had killed the great Jaheira. I will show you what became of them!

Gale:

No, wizard! You have so many more lectures for Boo to sleep through!

Wyll:

Wyll! Shed a tear for the Blade of Frontiers, Boo - but first, the VENGEANCE!

Minthara:

Dark elf! Do NOT go into the LIGHT!

Astarion:

Astarion! NO!

Halsin:

Rise again, druid! You are too large for your beloved earth to swallow!

Location Remarks

Act Three

Act 3 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

Party Banter

Minsc and Astarion

(By the Basilisk's Gate)

Minsc: Ah, but it is a fine thing to walk with friends beneath the warming sun!
Astarion: Friends' might be a stretch, but otherwise - yes, I fully agree!
Minsc: You might have your cloudy locks to keep the heat off your head, but do not forget that Minsc has Boo! We will be like twins, eh?
Astarion: We will? Gods - two hundred years and I've never missed seeing my reflection more.

(In Harborview Park)

Minsc: Oh, I do not know, Boo. If you buried the nuts here before we were stone, I am thinking they might have gone bad.
Astarion: Minsc! Enough! The hamster isn't saying a damn thing and you know it.
Minsc: Well, Astarion. Boo is of good breeding, and so only speaks when he has something nice to say.
Minsc: Perhaps this is why he has never seen fit to speak to you.
Astarion: How delightfully vicious. I'm beginning to like the hamster.

(By the Eastern Docks)

Minsc: ASTARION! FISH! ASTARION!
Astarion: Minsc, please - slow down. Use your words.
Minsc: Minsc has thought how you might be a more virtuous vampire - feast on fish instead. They are made of naught but neck!
Astarion: It's a sweet thought, but fish just doesn't have the flavour of full-blooded red meat.
Minsc: No, you do not 'agree', Boo. I told you you have been spending far too much time around the pale one...

(Ascendant Astarion)

Minsc: Do not think your twinkly-eyed wiles will work on us, vampire lord.
Astarion: Oh, I know I could never tempt you, but maybe your little friend would like to perch on a more elegant shoulder?
Minsc: Do not look into his eyes, Boo! Think not of nesting in his thick and downy mane!
Astarion: You'll never know unless you try. Just once? Maybe you'll like it.

(Spawn Astarion)

Minsc: No, Boo. Astarion is a friend now - he would never bite you.
Minsc: Yes, vampire?
Astarion: Yes... I mean - no? I am not interested in biting the rodent is the point.
Astarion: Not least because he lives in your trousers...

Minsc and Gale

(At Sorcerous Sundries)

Minsc': Minsc has never trusted places such as this. Too much of a wizard's power can be simply packaged and picked up.
Minsc: Well, picked up by all but Minsc. When he touches the many delicate little jars, oh how the wizards shout and stare!
Gale: Fear not, Minsc. You have a wizard at your side who positively encourages such curiosity. You'll fit right in.
Minsc: Obliged, wizard. Should we find our way to a weaponsmith, Minsc will rough you up a little - so that you too can fit in.

(In the Water Queen's House)

Minsc: Umberlee - her clerics possess a nasty streak as wide as her oceans.
Gale: So their reputation suggests - especially among the good folk of Waterdeep. I'm curious to learn how you fell foul of them...
Minsc: 'Blasphemy', said the temple priestess. But Minsc says: do not give horns to your statues if you do not wish the visitors to try and make them toot.
Gale: Yes, that would probably do it.

(At the House of Hope)

Minsc: Gale! You will perhaps able to explain where Boo has not - what exactly is the difference between a devil and a demon?
Gale: A fascinating question, one that boils down to which criteria we choose to apply. Are we speaking about the physiological? Theological? Etymological?
Minsc: Eh. Just how-to-kill... -ical.
Gale: Oh. Then for your purposes, they are exactly the same.

Minsc: Gale. Minsc worries you might send a fireball up his butt, with all of this stringy hair in your face.
Gale: Is that why you keep your head shaved? I assumed it was a custom of some sort.
Minsc: Oh, no! Most warriors of Rashemen wear long battle-braids, weighed down with stone. Minsc can show you, when next we camp?
Gale: Thank you, but I'm more wizard than warrior. I'm not sure my scalp would stand up to such a plaiting.

Minsc and Karlach

Karlach: Minsc, you come from an entire nation of berserkers. Give me some of those good Rashemaar pointers.
Minsc: Oh. There is much to be learned. Deep breaths. Meditative trances. Strange and stinking mushrooms.
Minsc: But Minsc could master none of this. Which made him sad. Which made him mad. Which made him the berserker you see before you.
Karlach: Huh. Really?
Minsc: And there is always Boo, with the needful nip when anger is slow in coming. This is not how you do it...?

Minsc: Karlach - do I see you gazing long at Boo? You wish to have a hamster of your own, I think.
Karlach: I wouldn't say no. But really I was thinking... how old is he, Minsc?
Minsc: He is quite obviously in his prime. For a miniature giant space hamster.
Karlach: And he's always looked the exact same? No chance Jaheira's been swapping him out every few years?
Minsc: Karlach! Minsc and Boo thought better of you, than to be so concerned with looks.

(Approaching the Guildhall)

Minsc: Are you familiar with the evil works of Nine-Fingers and her Guild, Karlach?
Karlach: I've Heard of her - and everyone knows the Guild. They're not bad if you know how to work 'em.
(If Minsc (grudgingly) agreed to work with Nine-Fingers)
- Minsc: Hm. Boo and I, we are in need of honest berserkers to keep the Guild honest in turn. Will you show us how this 'working' is done?
- Karlach: Sure. The trick is to let them mess with you just once, and show 'em what happens. They won't try again.
(If Minsc has not agreed to work with Nine-Fingers)
- Minsc: Minsc means to do no working. When he breaks the guildmaster, it will be for the fun of it alone.

(In the Undercity Ruins)

Minsc: A dead and foul place. Only a villain would nest down in these tunnels.
Karlach: Hang on, weren't you living in the sewer?
Minsc: Entirely different! That was foul only in its smells, and the way our water tasted. But it was home.
Karlach: Fair enough, buddy. Home is where the heart is, anyway.
Minsc: Ah - in that case, home is in my pocket, nestled on soft bed of flesh and fluff.

(At the Temple of Bhaal)

Karlach: What a pesthole! Can't wait to clear this place out.
Minsc: There will be much trading of threats and insults, no doubt. But Minsc will be ready when it is time for boot to meet butt.
Karlach: You and me both, pal.

(At the Morphic Pool)

Minsc: Karlach, this brain we go to bully - Boo has suggested it is large. Wizard-brain large? Boo-brain large?
Karlach: Like... as many Boo-brains as a mortal mind can fathom. It's an elder brain, after all. You heard of those?
Minsc: Of course!
Minsc: What is an elder brain?
Karlach: Honestly, I'm not completely sure. But I know it'll be no match for you, me, and the hamster.

Minsc and Lae'zel

Minsc: Bah! Fine, Boo. Lae'zel - my hamster wishes me to tell you:
Minsc: You are the most beautiful thing he has ever seen.
Lae'zel: I'm afraid I can't return the sentiment - but I know of some githyanki who would find him quite... appealing. Mouth-watering, in fact.

Minsc and Shadowheart

Shadowheart: Hey Minsc, what was it like, being a statue?
Minsc: Dark. Lonely. Helpless.
Shadowheart: The dark is Shar's domain. You wouldn't have been lonely if you embraced her.
Minsc: Evil! Never!

Shadowheart: Hey Minsc, How do you judge what's evil?
Minsc: Enough trick questions! Evil is clearly evil.
Shadowheart: Am I evil? You called my goddess so.
Minsc: If I decide you are evil, my blade will inform you of the fact.

Minsc: Shadowheart. I saw you pluck Boo from the ground, when you thought no one was watching.
Minsc: It pleases you, to hold him? And you have truly cleansed yourself of Shar?
Shadowheart: I suppose you're right. On both counts.
Minsc: HMMMMMMMM. Then for one day only, you may carry him in your pocket. So long as it is clean. Padded. Well-aired.
Minsc: And full of nuts!

Minsc: Boo will not permit himself to be held by you any longer, Shadowheart.
Minsc: He fears you will sacrifice him in some Sharran ritual of dark oils and leather.
Shadowheart: Oh, he's far too precious for that. I'll go find a comely barmaid or guardsman instead.

Minsc and Wyll

(Entering Devil's Fee)

Minsc: Who adorned these walls? Better to have hung a mirror, and taken a good long look at themselves.
Wyll: A bloody display of murderous power. Bhaal means to stoke fear, make us cower.
Minsc: All it does is make Minsc wonder if Boo has already eaten this villain's eyes.

(At Danthelon's Dancing Axe)

Minsc: Danthelon's Dancing Axe...? Minsc would sooner fight with a sword - even an annoying one, which talks out of turn.
Wyll: I'm surprised you're so fond of swords. A battleaxe would seem more suitable for a man of your... stature.
Minsc: The sword is simpler - only one point, so you know which end the evil goes on! But I suppose a warrior must wield whatever weapon he can.
Minsc: Sword, axe, boot... Minsc once choked an ogre with its own loincloth. The smell might be the closest I have come to tasting of death myself.

(At the Wyrmway Puzzle)

Minsc: A puzzle, is it? Boo is most adept at their solving - no matter where Minsc hides the nuts, Boo is always able to sniff them out!
Gale: I'm rather a dab hand myself when it comes to a spot of intellectual intrigue...
Minsc: The nuts are in my pocket, wizard. Please do not go patting at Minsc's person.

(If Wyll is being romanced)

Minsc: Minsc has felt Boo's heart is fluttering faster than usual... for our friend the Blade is bethrothed.
Wyll: Ah, my thanks. Perhaps we might even marry, if fate wills it.
Minsc: If you cannot find a bear to be the bearer of your ring, Boo would like you to know that he is available.

(At the Lodge)

Minsc: Who is this large man of sternness and stone? Boo mislikes his look - as if he is knowing things that Minsc is not.
(Before Balduran's Reveal)
- Wyll: Relax, the both of you - it's Balduran, our city's valorant founder.
- Minsc: Ahh, this makes more sense! Some relation to the Baldur who owns the gate perhaps, Boo?
(After Balduran's Reveal)
- Wyll: It's Balduran. Our city's valorant founder - and now, the illithid we carry in that gods-forsaken prism.
- Minsc: Ah. Then Minsc and Boo prefer him this way. Better stern than smug.

(At the Morphic Pool)

Wyll: Our great adventure nears its climax. If I should fall, I want you all to know it's been an honour to fight beside you.
Minsc: You will not fall, warlock. And if you do, Minsc shall simply pick you up again. What - do you doubt us in this final hour?
Wyll: Yeah, but you... you're Minsc.
Minsc: And you are Wyll of the Pale Eye. Now hush, and turn your mind towards our many, many many enemies.

Minsc and Halsin

(At the Elfsong Tavern)

Minsc: See, Boo? They have made their repairs. The owner once used Boo to mop up her ale, and she and Minsc had a discussion on the matter.
Halsin: Trouble seems to seek you out, Minsc. I know the feeling - the larger you are, the more likely someone wishes to test themselves against you.
Minsc: Minsc sometimes wishes he was small as Boo - so that he might sit and listen to the storytellers in peace.
Halsin: Perhaps you should study the druidic arts - with wildshape, you could make yourself as diminutive as you please. Smaller than Boo, even.
Minsc: Oh. OHOHOHO.

(At Felogyr's Fireworks)

Minsc: Bah. Boo says the many colours remind him of home, but Minsc has never enjoyed these fireworks.
Halsin: They may have their purposes. You could cast fireballs of sorts, without having to spend years studying magic tomes.
Minsc: ...Archdruid. You are as formidable in mind as you are in muscle.
Minsc: Gather the sparking sticks, Boo! With sword in one hand and these in the other, we need truck with wizards no more!

(If Halsin has been romanced)

Minsc: Boo has been speaking to a certain squirrel-friend who frequents our camp, Halsin.
Minsc: He was turned from a red squirrel to a grey, all by one shocking sight. Minsc thinks you owe him an apology.
Halsin: Apologise for partaking in one of nature's most solemn rites? That squirrel should be glad to bear witness.
Minsc: ...No, Boo, I do not know what this has to do with the bears...

Minsc and Jaheira

(Entering Cazador's Palace)

Minsc: If Minsc had any hairs on his head, this place would set them all a-standing. And look how Boo's bunches his hackles!
Jaheira: We three have come through darker places than this together, Minsc.
Jaheira: And hamsters don't have hackles.
Minsc: Does Jaheira not set your heart at ease, Boo? It is comforting, to know that one so wise can be so wrong.

(In Bloomridge Park)

Minsc: All of these statues - could they, too, be heroes all? Frozen in stone until the city has need of them?
Jaheira: The Harpers keep records of those who fought for the city - I think I would recall mention of a bare-assed little cherub in all our story and song.
Minsc: Well. Boo would also think you would have noticed when Minsc himself was frozen for over a century.
Jaheira: ... do you know, I had forgotten just how catty your hamster can be.

(In The Blushing Mermaid)

Minsc: Jaheira, Minsc's memory of his last time in this taproom is a little... fuzzy. Did he...?
Jaheira: Fear not, Rashemaar. It has never been your way to over-indulge.
Jaheira: But you did offend one of my contacts by letting Boo paddle around in her tankard. Pewter, I believe - she cracked it over your head.
Minsc: Oh, praise the Three! Minsc was afraid he had shamed myself. I will, eh, leave a penny at the bar.
Jaheira: Best leave two. I cracked her with my own, afterward. She was drinking grog - Boo's backside could only have improved it.

(Entering the Sewers)

Minsc: AH! The smell of adventure, in the very heart of the city!
Jaheira: The city's lower intestine, perhaps.
Minsc: Better yet! What swifter way to strike at evil's butt than to crawl through its innards?

(In the Guildhall, before meeting Nine-Fingers Keene)

Jaheira: If Nine-Fingers survived the fray, she will be right back to work in there. We ought to speak to her.
Minsc: She has you in her thrall, Jaheira. Minsc will still her serpent tongue, before it has a chance to twine around your thoughts!
Jaheira: That, she will definitely have something to say about.

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