Astarion/banter

A collection of Astarion's remarks and overhead conversations with other characters.

Remarks

At low health:

Heal me, damn you!
Gods - it hurts.
Urgh. That nearly ended me.
I can't take much more...
I need healing - now!

Attacked by party member:

Think you're funny, do you?

Can't fit in a small hole:

That thing is small, and I am not.

Can't fit in a tiny hole:

That thing is tiny, and I am not.

Can't use an item:

It's uncooperative.
That did nothing.
It's not broken, but it isn't working either.
Seems not.

Can't use an item while in combat:

Now is not the time.
Let's wait until no one's trying to kill me.
Killing people now, playing with doodads later.
Maybe later, when I'm not locked in combat?

Finding a locked item:

I'm not opening that. Not from here, at any rate.
I can't unlock it from here, but there must be a switch or a button somewhere...
Locked tight, but there must be some way to open it.
No, that's not moving. There must be a way to open it somewhere.

Looking at a globe:

The world looks so small. Like you could just reach out and take it.

Looking at an astrolabe:

Not just a world to explore, but an entire cosmos...

Looking into a mirror:

I don't need a reflection to know this looks fabulous.
Hmm, yes... still nothing.
Looking perfect as always. I assume.

Looking into a telescope:

I never cared for spyglasses. Watching things from afar is hardly fun.

Succeeded Perception roll (trap):

A trap. Someone doesn't like visitors.
Be careful, there are traps about.
Traps. How considerate.
Oh dear, someone's left a trap out for us.

Succeeded Investigation roll:

Well now, what have we here?
Well hello there.
Hmm, what could you be?
What's that I spy?
Ah, interesting.

Succeeded Investigation roll (trap):

It's a trap. And a nasty one at that.
A devious little trap.
Hello, you wicked little thing.

Identified a mimic:

A poor imitation. I see you, you sneaky little shapeshifter.

Surprised by mimic:

Yes, yes. I'd hide my true form if I looked like you, too.
Ugh. That creature was rather prettier in disguise.

Location Remarks

Act One

Act 1 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

(By the dock in the Ravaged Beach)

"Running water normally burns like acid. But now - who knows?"

Act Two

Act 2 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

Act Three

Act 3 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

Party Banter

Astarion/banter and Gale

Astarion: I am enjoying our walks together, aren't you, Gale?
Gale: Uhm... Sure. In silence.

Astarion/banter and Karlach

Astarion: Biting flies, midges - shouldn't nature be beautiful and serene? It looks so nice in the Upper City parks.
Karlach: Upper City, huh? Swish. Never spent much time there myself.
Astarion: I'll happily take you. If we survive this bugs' banquet.
Karlach: Sounds good. I've always been curious what a patriar loo looks like.

Astarion/banter and Lae'zel

Astarion: So, you know about these parasites. Will we survive them?
Lae'zel: Only if my people extract them. The only other cure is the blade.
Astarion: Okay. Wonderful.

Astarion: You fight well, but you're so efficient. Why not have a little fun?
Lae'zel: Fun? I fight to win, not to make spectacles.
Astarion: What a waste.

Astarion/banter and Shadowheart

Astarion: So, you and Lae'zel? Seems tense.
Shadowheart: Please, don't remind me. But keep your guard up with her.
Astarion: Noted.

Astarion: Shadowheart. Such a grim name for such a beautiful flower.
Shadowheart: I heard you mumbling that line to yourself earlier - it needs more work.
Lae'zel: Fortunate for his tongue he didn't say it to me.

(In the temple of Shar)

Astarion: I do like it down here. It's nice. Homey.
(If Shadowheart's allegiance has been revealed)
- Shadowheart: This is a dedication to my goddess' power and dark beauty. Homey is not the first word that comes to mind.
(If Shadowheart's allegiance hasn't been revealed)
- Shadowheart: This temple is positively dripping with power and dark beauty - is homey truly the first word that springs to mind.

(In Reithwin Tollhouse)

Shadowheart: I have to ask, Astarion. Do people taste different from one another, when you feed?
Astarion: It all depends. A clean neck certainly helps.
Shadowheart: Come on, you know I'm talking about their blood.
Astarion: Of course, there are different vintages. Young noble is wonderful if you can get it, but crone has its charms too.

(In the House of Healing)

Astarion: It's a long time since I was in a house of healing. Gods, it's depressing.
Shadowheart: I suppose you don't have much use for hospitals... unless you're seeking to steal their blood stock.
Astarion: True, although I don't heal as fast as I used to. The one downside to the tadpole, I suppose.
Shadowheart: The one downside? I think you might have stopped the count too soon...

(At Cazador's Palace)

Shadowheart: So, Astarion. Vampire dens - what should I expect?
Astarion: Vampires would be a safe bet.
Shadowheart: Hilarious. You belong on stage - perhaps the bloodstained sort, with a hooded man standing by, axe in hand.
Astarion: So long as there's a cheering crowd. As for vampire dens, I'd brace your nose. They can be very... organic.

Astarion/banter and Wyll

tba

Astarion/banter and Halsin

tba

Astarion/banter and Minthara

tba

Astarion/banter and Jaheira

(In the Lower City)

Astarion: Beyond that gate is the Upper City, housing the great and the good of Baldur's Gate.
Jaheira: You yearn for a better class of company, Astarion?
Astarion: Gods no - who'd want to spend time with anyone great or good?

(In the Lower City)

Astarion: Cazazdor always warned us to stay clear of this neighbourhood. Never said why, though.
Jaheira: The last spawn who tried was sunk into the cobblestones and left for the sun to find. I had an unfortunate taste for theatrics, in my youth.
Astarion: Ah. Yes, that was probably it.

(In the North Alleys)

Jaheira: Never mind the shining squares - I am more comfortable on streets such as this. A peek at the true face behind the mask.
Astarion: Yet another thing we have in common. We're two peas in a pod.
Jaheira: I said a peek behind the city's mask, Astarion - not a look up its skirts.
Astarion: Jaheira! What do you think of me?

(Ascendant Astarion)

Jaheira: You consumed all the spawn in your service, lord Astarion. You shall have to fend for yourself a while.
Astarion: Oh, I've never had trouble attracting foolish, pretty people.
Jaheira: Nor did Cazador, it seems.
Astarion: Jaheira! ... You think I'm pretty?

(Spawn Astarion)

Jaheira: I am glad it is your non-vampiric charms our friend has fallen for, Astarion. It is, isn't it?
Astarion: Of course! Is it so unbelievable that they would simply like me?
Astarion: If you insist on prying, perhaps you'd care to join us and see how much we enjoy one another?
Jaheira: Why? Do you require some instruction on how the deed is done?
Astarion: I'm sure even I could learn some new tricks from an old veteran such as yourself.

Astarion/banter and Minsc

(By the Basilisk's Gate)

Minsc: Ah, but it is a fine thing to walk with friends beneath the warming sun!
Astarion: Friends' might be a stretch, but otherwise - yes, I fully agree!
Minsc: You might have your cloudy locks to keep the heat off your head, but do not forget that Minsc has Boo! We will be like twins, eh?
Astarion: We will? Gods - two hundred years and I've never missed seeing my reflection more.

(In Harborview Park)

Minsc: Oh, I do not know, Boo. If you buried the nuts here before we were stone, I am thinking they might have gone bad.
Astarion: Minsc! Enough! The hamster isn't saying a damn thing and you know it.
Minsc: Well, Astarion. Boo is of good breeding, and so only speaks when he has something nice to say.
Minsc: Perhaps this is why he has never seen fit to speak to you.
Astarion: How delightfully vicious. I'm beginning to like the hamster.

(By the Eastern Docks)

Minsc: ASTARION! FISH! ASTARION!
Astarion: Minsc, please - slow down. Use your words.
Minsc: Minsc has thought how you might be a more virtuous vampire - feast on fish instead. They are made of naught but neck!
Astarion: It's a sweet thought, but fish just doesn't have the flavour of full-blooded red meat.
Minsc: No, you do not 'agree', Boo. I told you you have been spending far too much time around the pale one...

(Ascendant Astarion)

Minsc: Do not think your twinkly-eyed wiles will work on us, vampire lord.
Astarion: Oh, I know I could never tempt you, but maybe your little friend would like to perch on a more elegant shoulder?
Minsc: Do not look into his eyes, Boo! Think not of nesting in his thick and downy mane!
Astarion: You'll never know unless you try. Just once? Maybe you'll like it.

(Spawn Astarion)

Minsc: No, Boo. Astarion is a friend now - he would never bite you.
Minsc: Yes, vampire?
Astarion: Yes... I mean - no? I am not interested in biting the rodent is the point.
Astarion: Not least because he lives in your trousers...

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