Astarion/banter

Overview

Approval

Banter

Romance

A collection of Astarion's remarks and overhead conversations with other characters.

Remarks

Selected

• Keep a blade close.
• Trust no one.
• Watch your back.
• What now?
• Hmm?
• Someone there?
• Hello again.
• Was the sun always that bright?
• Let's see what the day brings.
• What a day.
• Everything looks new.
• Things feel... different.
• Keep your distance, darling.
• I could get used to this.
• Well hello.
• How delicious.
• Careful. I bite.
• Don't touch me.

Selected (sneaking)

• What is it?
• Mmm?
• Quiet...
• Really? Now?
• Now?
• Now what...
• If this isn't important...
• I was trying to concentrate.
• Time to kill?
• Time for a little death?
• Keep your blade close.
• Let's have some fun.
• Hello you.
• Ready.
• Shall we?
• Quietly now...
• I'm just waiting.
• Something smells tasty.

Selected (in combat)

• Let's have some fun.
• Time to kill.
• This feels good.
• Let's turn someone inside out.
• Shall we cut and run?
• I've missed this.
• Shall we dance?
• The dance macabre.
• Who's next?
• Go for the throat.
• I feel alive.
• Can you feel death's cold grip?
• There's blood in the air.
• Let's spill some blood.
• I'm ready.
• Let's have some carnage.
• Hungry for the slaughter.
• Time for a cull.

Selection spam

• Why do beautiful people taste better? It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities.
• Ugh. Strahd wouldn't put up with this shit.
• More like Drizzt Don't'Urden - no. No that's not funny.
• Villains! Dissemble no more, I admit the deed! Tear up the floor - here, here! It is the beating of his hideous hea- oh, no, that's his brain. Where did I leave that heart?

Selection spam (sneaking)

• Shhh. Just think sneaky thoughts.
• Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP.
• Be very, very quiet - I'm hunting idiots.
• I've got a brand new torture chamber, so come and play with me.

Selection spam (in combat)

• I'm trying to focus on murder.
• *Humming.*
• I shot a svirfneblin in Menzoberranzan just to watch him die.
• I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.

Moving

• Go.
• There.
• Moving.
• Quick step.
• Yes, let's.
• Let's go.
• Let's move.
• Let's be quick.
• On my way.
• Don't linger.
• Step lightly.
• Step quick.
• Tread carefully.
• Tread lightly.
• This way.
• Over here...
• Shall we?
• Over there.
• Watch your back.
• Watch the shadows.
• One step at a time.
• Subtle steps.

Moving (sneaking)

• Nice and easy.
• Step carefully.
• Just like old times.
• Move unseen.
• The element of surprise.
• They won't see me coming.
• Gently...
• Stay low.
• Not a sound.
• Stepping softly.
• Silent as the grave.
• Quietly...

Moving (in combat)

• Outmanoeuvre them.
• On the way.
• Keep them guessing.
• This will do nicely.
• Moving.
• With finesse.
• Quickly!
• Let's go.
• Let's move.
• Be quick.
• On my way.
• Don't linger.
• Step quick.
• This way.
• Over here.
• Yes, here.
• Time to move.
• A better position.

Hiding

• Let's keep to the shadows.
• On tippy toes.
• Just like old times.
• Into the shadows.
• Time for discretion.
• Neither seen nor heard.
• Like a wraith.
• Leave no trace.
• Be very, very quiet.
• On the hunt.
• Let's prowl.
• Ready or not...

Hiding (in combat)

• Just like old times.
• Into the shadows.
• Leave no trace.
• On the hunt.
• Now they see me...
• Time for a new approach.
• They won't know what bit them.
• The subtle approach.
• We'll do it my way.
• Let's have a little fun.
• Ready or not...
• Let's find some prey.

Attacking

• Feel their anguish
• Let's play

At low health

• Heal me, damn you!
• Gods - it hurts.
• Urgh. That nearly ended me.
• I can't take much more...
• I need healing - now!

Attacked by party member

• Think you're funny, do you?

Can't fit in a small hole

• That thing is small, and I am not.

Can't fit in a tiny hole

• That thing is tiny, and I am not.

Can't use an item

• It's uncooperative.
• That did nothing.
• It's not broken, but it isn't working either.
• Seems not.

Can't use an item while in combat

• Now is not the time.
• Let's wait until no one's trying to kill me.
• Killing people now, playing with doodads later.
• Maybe later, when I'm not locked in combat?

Finding a locked item

• I'm not opening that. Not from here, at any rate.
• I can't unlock it from here, but there must be a switch or a button somewhere...
• Locked tight, but there must be some way to open it.
• No, that's not moving. There must be a way to open it somewhere.

Picking a lock

• Oh, for a skeleton key.
• (Chuckle) Easy...
• Should be easy.
• Simple.
• A crooked touch.
• With pleasure.
• Hardly a challenge.
• Let's crack it open.

Looking at a globe

• The world looks so small. Like you could just reach out and take it.

Looking at an astrolabe

• Not just a world to explore, but an entire cosmos...

Looking into a mirror

• I don't need a reflection to know this looks fabulous.
• Hmm, yes... still nothing.
• Looking perfect as always. I assume.

Looking into a telescope

• I never cared for spyglasses. Watching things from afar is hardly fun.

Succeeded Perception roll (trap)

• A trap. Someone doesn't like visitors.
• Be careful, there are traps about.
• Traps. How considerate.
• Oh dear, someone's left a trap out for us.

Succeeded Investigation roll

• Well now, what have we here?
• Well hello there.
• Hmm, what could you be?
• What's that I spy?
• Ah, interesting.

Succeeded Investigation roll (trap)

• It's a trap. And a nasty one at that.
• A devious little trap.
• Hello, you wicked little thing.

Identified a mimic

• A poor imitation. I see you, you sneaky little shapeshifter.

Surprised by mimic

• Yes, yes. I'd hide my true form if I looked like you, too.
• Ugh. That creature was rather prettier in disguise.

After a Short Rest

• Off we go, then.
• Well, some rest's better than none.
• Enough sitting around - let's go hurt someone.
• All right, time to see what new horror's waiting for us.

Guidance

• How did you last so long without me?
• Someone needs help, I see.
• Don't worry, I'm here.
• Do not waste this.
• Yes, alright.
• Where would you be without me?

On character death

Player

• No, you can't die. Get up, damn you!

Player (Dark Urge)

• No! My sweet, bloodthirsty friend.

Lae'zel

• Lae'zel - no!

Shadowheart

• Shadowheart! No!

Karlach

• Karlach! You can't die - I won't let you die.

Jaheira

• Jaheira! You will be avenged.

Gale

• No, Gale!

Wyll

• Wyll! Get up, you sweet fool!

Minthara

• Minthara! Damn it all.

Minsc

• No - Minsc! You can't die, not now!

Halsin

• No - Halsin! Gods damn it...

Throwing Scratch's ball after his death

• Can't believe the stupid dog isn't here to get the stupid ball.
• Good riddance to the dog. Who'd miss that waggy little tail...
• Does it have a sad squeak now? Is that even possible?
• I suppose I'll just pick it up myself.

Location Remarks

Act One

Act 1 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

(By the dock in the Ravaged Beach)

• Running water normally burns like acid. But now - who knows?

(Opening the chest containing Drow Studded Leather Armour in the Underdark)

• A resupply stash. I wonder if Lolth's pets left anything good.

(Encountering a Mushroom Circle in the Underdark

• Well, it's certainly... symmetrical?

(Sitting on the Stool of Hill Giant Strength)

• Well now, what's this? I feel powerful.
• Damn it, it's gone...

(Ancient Temple)

• Impressive-looking ruins down there, but well out of reach.

Act Two

Act 2 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

(Upon releasing Dolly Dolly Dolly)

• A pixie! An honest-to-goodness pixie...

(Upon reading Melodia's Letter to Ketheric)

• Why, that's almost beautiful. Imagine what she'd think if she saw him now.

Act Three

Act 3 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

Ancient Lair

• I don't know what's happening with that body, but it looks very creative.
• He stashed his canopic jar inside a zombie? Oh, the clever boy.

Party Banter

Astarion/banter and Gale

• Astarion: I am enjoying our walks together, aren't you, Gale?
• Gale: Uhm... Sure. In silence.

---

• Astarion: So, do you have loves waiting for you once this is all over?
• Gale: You know what - that is not the easiest of questions for me to answer.
• Shadowheart: You mean just waiting, like a lovesick puppy? Short-term amusements are much less hassle.

---

• Astarion: That orb seems powerful. What can it do once it's extracted?
• Gale: Nothing good can come of it unless it is contained. Why?
• Astarion: It might be useful. Who knows?

---

• Astarion: Ever heard of a vampire called Cazador, Wyll?

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Wyll: I don't think so. Why? Friend of yours?

(If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Wyll: Doesn't ring a bell. Why?
• Gale: He's patriarch of the Szarr family. Nasty fellow, if the histories are accurate.
• Astarion: I imagine they are.

---

(After dispelling the illusion at Sunlit Wetlands)

• Astarion: From sweet woodland to stinking swamp. Can you do tricks like that, Gale?
• Gale: Easiest thing in the world. Though I'd do it the other way around.

---

(After encountering Auntie Ethel)

• Wyll: Ethel mentioned Netherese magic. What in blazes does that mean?
• Gale: Magic from the fallen empire of Netheril. Ancient, exceedingly dangerous, and quite unrivalled.
• Astarion: Wonderful! I'd hate to be destroyed by any common old magic.

---

(Near Rosymorn Monastery)

• Astarion: Another ruined temple, full of foul-smelling beasts, spoiling for a fight.
• Gale: No mere temple. This was a monastery, devoted as much to study as to worship.
• Astarion: Oh, how ignorant of me. So it'll be free of foul-smelling beasts, then?
• Gale: Quite the opposite. Some monastic orders celebrated their pungency as proof of their devotion. 'To think is to stink' was the motto of one ill-fated brotherhood near Amn.
• Gale: Oh, but you meant beasts of the life-threatening variety? Yes, I'm sure it's teeming with those.

---

(At Crèche Y'llek)

• Gale: I knew I should've attended the Blackstaff's lectures on githyanki tir'su.
• Gale: If I understood their script, who knows what secrets their texts would surrender...
• Astarion: Why not ask one of the friendly bloodthirsty warriors? I'm sure they'd be happy to translate.

---

(At Mason's Guild Rebel Hideout)

• Astarion: What's this? A clever little hideaway?
• Gale: Not just clever - rather ingenious. Somehow its construction keeps the Shadow Curse at bay.
• Astarion: A little too clever, if you ask me. Watch out for traps.

---

(Approaching Moonrise Towers)

• Astarion: Moonlanterns to keep the curse back, burly guards to fight off any monsters - I could get used to this place.
• Gale: Don't get too comfortable. We shouldn't overstay our welcome in such a place.
• Astarion: No, of course. Why stay somewhere safe and comfortable when we could be in mortal peril?

---

(At Moonrise Towers)

• Astarion: Can't say I love what they've done with the place.
• Gale: Unsurprising, really. Fanatical cultists tend to care more for ambience than aesthetics.
• Astarion: Reason enough to put them all to the sword, I say.

---

(At Mind Flayer Colony)

• Astarion: It's enough to put you off tentacles for life.
• Gale: You had a taste for tentacles?
• Astarion: The Elfsong Tavern used to serve excellent calamari. Mind you, that was two hundred years ago...

---

(At Mind Flayer Colony)

• Astarion: Gods - we're not back, are we?
• Gale: On the nautiloid? No, this is a different nursery - similar, but not identical. There's likely one in every colony.
• Astarion: I don't care what's in every mind flayer colony, Gale - nobody does. Except you.

---

(At Lower City Sewers)

• Astarion: I gave my return to Baldur's Gate a lot of thought. I never pictured this, though.
• Gale: What did you have in mind? A quiet party, toasting your return with a few good friends?
• Astarion: Less 'quiet party with friends', more 'days of hedonistic debauchery'. But otherwise, yes.
• Gale: Sounds like a recipe for disaster. But you know what? I'm learning to enjoy the taste of chaos. Count me in.

---

(At Basilisk Gate)

• Gale: Mystra has a shrine within the city. Located in the Stormshore Tabernacle, if my memory serves me.
• Astarion: Do whatever you need to, but I shan't be paying my respects to any of the gods on show.
• Gale: You never felt the call of the divine, Astarion?
• Astarion: Oh, I tried them all. None of them answered.

---

(If the player is romancing Gale; after act 1 romance scene)

• Astarion: So Gale, how is your sad, hopeless pining going?
• Gale: I'm hardly pining. It's been a year or more since Mystra cast me aside.
• Astarion: Oh, my dear wizard. I wasn't talking about Mystra.

---

(If the player is romancing Gale; after act 2 romance scene)

• Astarion: So, how was your night with Gale? Did you have a long, hard debate?
• Gale: Ignore him. Astarion envies the depth of our bond because he's of a shallower inclination.
• Astarion: Snort.

---

(If the player is romancing Gale; after act 3 romance scene)

• Astarion: So, Gale - you laid with a goddess? You must have some sordid tales to tell?
• Gale: Sordid? I lay with the Mother of Magic herself. What we had was transcendent, euphoric, incandescent. Not sordid.
• Astarion: You actually made sleeping with a goddess sound boring. Incredible...

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 1 romance scene)

• Gale: I see you waste no time pursing your quarry, Astarion.
• Gale: Tell me, do you always woo your lovers with such patient attention?
• Astarion: I rather thought I was a little slow this time. Usually, they're begging me to drain them on the first night.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 2 romance scene)

• Gale: I fear I've been rather hasty to judge you, Astarion.
• Gale: One heartbreak was quite enough for me, but to experience it as many times as you have must change a person.
• Astarion: Thank you, Gale. Let us both hope that broken hearts are a thing of the past.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn)

• Gale: If you're feeling faint after your bout with Cazador, Astarion, I don't mind donating some blood.
• Astarion: When you're still full of that Netherese bile? I'll pass, thank you.
• Astarion: Besides, I have someone else to nibble on. And they are delicious.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant)

• Gale: So, Astarion. I hear your relationship has taken on a new aspect recently...
• Astarion: My life has taken on a new aspect. It is only natural that my relationships change as well.
• Astarion: As the Vampire Ascendant, I can grant my lover immortality, and bind them to me forever.
• Gale: I trust you speak of the bonds of love, and not the shackles of servitude.

Astarion/banter and Karlach

(While in plains)

• Karlach: Hahaha. Ha!
• Astarion: What's so funny? You haven't got some laughing curse, have you?
• Karlach: I really made it out of Avernus. It's incredible.
• Astarion: All right, just keep it down. We're conspicuous enough without your hyena call.

---

(At Forest)

• Astarion: Biting flies, midges - shouldn't nature be beautiful and serene? It looks so nice in the Upper City parks.
• Karlach: Upper City, huh? Swish. Never spent much time there myself.
• Astarion: I'll happily take you. If we survive this bugs' banquet.
• Karlach: Sounds good. I've always been curious what a patriar loo looks like.

---

(At Sunlit Wetlands)

• Astarion: Transforming into a mind flayer might have its perks. At least then I could float over this muck.
• Karlach: Not one for roughing it, I see.
• Astarion: Wallowing in filth is for pigs and children, my dear.
• Karlach: Pigs, children, and people with a little bit of grit.

---

(At Grymforge)

• Karlach: Ho. He-llo! Hey!
• Astarion: So... are you greeting invisible beings or just losing your mind?
• Karlach: The echoes - listen! They're coming from three directions!
• Astarion: Losing your mind it is! Probably the tadpole - the weirdest things seem to be...

---

(Near Rosymorn Monastery)

• Astarion: Gods, how are we not there yet? My feet are killing me.
• Karlach: Want me to carry you?
• Astarion: Oh, darling, would you?
• Karlach: Sure! If you promise to swap once I get tired.
• Astarion: Please, I can barely manage my pack - you'd kill me.

---

(At Last Light Inn Graveyard)

• Astarion: The graveyard's ancient, but the graves are fresh.
• Karlach: Feeling at home?
• Astarion: I haven't set foot in a graveyard since I became a spawn, thank you. Vampires are nothing like those other undead.
• Karlach: True. I've never heard a mummy complain about a wrinkled doublet. Or sour wine.

---

(At Rivington)

• Karlach: Nice to be in a crowd of normal people for once.
• Astarion: Really? I prefer my company extraordinary.
• Karlach: Aww, thanks.
• Astarion: Don't thank me, thank Gortash.
• Karlach: Excuse you. I didn't need that prick to make me who I am.
• Astarion: You're right, of course. Forgive me.
• Karlach: All good, fangs.

---

(At Baldur's Mouth)

• Astarion: Probably best if I keep a low profile. They used to know me all too well in the Elfsong.
• Karlach: Wonder if our paths ever crossed in the before-times. Were you always so sneaky?
• Astarion: I haven't survived for two centuries by being reckless. And I hope to survive at least two more.
• Karlach: Yeah yeah, don't rub it in.

---

(At Grey Harbour Docks)

• Karlach: Can you swim, Astarion?
• Astarion: I'm... not sure, honestly. It's been a couple of hundred years.
• Karlach: You're missing out! Loved it as a kid. This water looks nasty as hell, though.
• Astarion: Well, it's not called 'Grey Harbour' for nothing.

---

(At Felogyr's Fireworks)

• Karlach: Oh man! WHIZBANGS!
• Astarion: Keep calm, Karlach. One bad flare and you could blow this whole place.
• Karlach: (Oh man! Whizbangs!)
• Astarion: Better.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 1 romance scene)

• Karlach: Hey. What's on your mind, Astarion? You seemed a million miles away just then.
• Astarion: Hmm? Oh, I was just pondering that heart of yours.
• Astarion: There were times I would've been thrilled if everyone who put their hands on me burst into flames.
• Karlach: I'd trade you if I could.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 2 romance scene)

• Astarion: So the more you cool down, the more your love life heats up?
• Karlach: Seems that way! But I'm a bit out of practice, to be honest.
• Astarion: I'm sure it'll all come back to you. You'll be as depraved as the rest of us in no time.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 3 romance scene)

• Astarion: I hear you were spotted being 'normal' in the Singing Lute, Karlach. Are you feeling all right?
• Karlach: Seemed like the right thing to do. I've never really tried 'normal' before.
• Astarion: And? How did you find the quiet life?
• Karlach: It was nice. It was really nice.
• Astarion: I never thought I'd see the day - our champion of the Hells has gone soft.
• Karlach: Maybe I have. Finally.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 1 romance scene)

• Karlach: I never was a sucker for a smooth-talker, but I admit, Astarion, you're pretty slick.
• Astarion: And you're rather the opposite of slick. Do you have a point?
• Karlach: I was just being nice.
• Astarion: Step one of starting a conversation: think before you speak.
• Karlach: Never was my strong suit.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 2 romance scene)

• Karlach: Sorry if this is rude, but... can vampires fall in love?
• Astarion: What a preposterous question. Vampires can do anything you can do, and a damn sight better.
• Karlach: Sunbathe? Swim?
• Astarion: All right, there are a few limited exceptions.
• Karlach: Good to know love is on the table though.
• Astarion: It is. Though if the table is laden with good wine and meat, love is often left to rot with the salad leaves.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn)

• Karlach: So our vamp isn't so heartless after all.
• Astarion: Rich of you to talk about someone else's heart, Karlach.
• Astarion: But I must admit, my chest has been feeling a touch lighter recently.
• Karlach: It suits you beautifully.
• Astarion: Yes, most things do.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant)

• Karlach: You know, Astarion, I'm not sure I can trust you anymore. You're... different. A bit scary, to be honest.
• Astarion: I have one person who trusts me completely. That's enough for me.
• Karlach: Treat them right, or you'll have me to answer to.
• Karlach: I can whittle up a good stake in no time if the mood takes me.

Astarion/banter and Lae'zel

• Astarion: So, you know about these parasites. Will we survive them?
• Lae'zel: Only if my people extract them. The only other cure is the blade.
• Astarion: Okay. Wonderful.

---

• Astarion: You fight well, but you're so efficient. Why not have a little fun?
• Lae'zel: Fun? I fight to win, not to make spectacles.
• Astarion: What a waste.

---

• Astarion: Shadowheart. Such a grim name for such a beautiful flower.

(If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Shadowheart: I heard you mumbling that line to yourself earlier - it needs more work.
• Lae'zel: Fortunate for his tongue he didn't say it to me.

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Shadowheart: Could you not stare so blatantly at my neck when you say that please?
• Lae'zel: Oh, but do keep calling her 'flower'. She'll love that.

---

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Lae'zel: Feed if you must, Astarion.
• Lae'zel: But give me so much as a hungry look, and I'll drive a stake through your heart.
• Astarion: Ooh, I do so very like spicy food.

---

(If everyone knows about Astarion's scars)

• Lae'zel: Poetry as torture - your master's quite clever, Astarion. Don't you agree?
• Astarion: You and I have very different definitions of 'clever'.

---

(In the Underdark)

• Astarion: Do we have to spend so long poking about down here?
• Astarion: I'd much rather be outside, with the sun on my skin.
• Lae'zel: You've only just come to tolerate sun, and you're already nostalgic?
• Lae'zel: If you're going to complain the whole way, by all means, return topside. You could use the colour.

---

(At Crèche Y'llek)

• Lae'zel: We are permitted to walk so freely. Such a lack of discipline would be punished severely in K'liir.
• Astarion: Walk freely? This place is as tight as a patriar's purse.
• Lae'zel: We should have been disarmed on entry. I'm pleased we weren't, but it's strange.
• Astarion: No doubt they found me too intimidating.

---

(At Gauntlet of Shar)

• Astarion: It's all very grand, but so austere.
• Lae'zel: Did you expect anything else? This is how your gods project power.
• Astarion: But why not project power with soft furnishings and roaring fires? Maybe then I'd worship them.

---

(At Reithwin Town)

• Astarion: Just once, I'd like to find a village that hasn't been plundered and destroyed.
• Lae'zel: Indeed. All the best weapons have already been scavenged.
• Astarion: I was thinking about a warm fire and charming company, actually.
• Lae'zel: I am perfectly charming, I'll have you know. On Crèche K'liir, I was known for my dazzling smile and charisma.
• Astarion: Really?
• Lae'zel: No.

---

(At The Waning Moon)

• Astarion: Ah, beer. Not really my drink, you know.
• Lae'zel: I know, Astarion. You prefer blood.
• Astarion: Well - yes. It was a joke.
• Lae'zel: I know that, too. It just wasn't funny.

---

(At Mason's Guild)

• Lae'zel: 'Mason's Guild'. The githyanki would call this a or'mlar: an alliance of mlar.
• Astarion: And what is a 'mlar', exactly?
• Lae'zel: Builders, craftspeople - and the makers of the incomparable silver swords the kith'raki wield in battle.
• Lae'zel: The mlar may not be warriors, but they are no less valuable to my people.

---

(At Moonrise Towers Docks)

• Astarion: The boat's heading to Baldur's Gate. I'm almost tempted to stow away.
• Lae'zel: Chk. Try to abandon us and it won't go well for you.
• Astarion: Oh, I wouldn't actually leave. After all, where would you be without me?

---

(While assaulting Moonrise Towers)

• Lae'zel: At last, we wash our weapons in Absolute blood.
• Astarion: I like this bloodlust look on you. Very flattering.
• Lae'zel: Even now, at the cusp, you waste your breath on prattle.

---

(At Mind Flayer Colony)

• Lae'zel: We must be ready to confront the elder brain. One presides over every ghaik colony.
• Astarion: No problem. And what does this old brain look like?
• Lae'zel: A hovering mass of grey matter, sprouted with lethal tentacles and oozing cerebrospinal fluid.
• Astarion: Right... Good. Glad I asked.

---

(At Rivington)

• Astarion: I used to like this neighbourhood. It was quieter than inside the walls - darker too.
• Lae'zel: A good hunting ground, then?
• Astarion: Oh, yes - slimmer pickings, but safer targets. The perfect place to learn the craft.

---

(At The Blushing Mermaid)

• Astarion: Ah. This place never changes.
• Lae'zel: Perhaps it should. All I see are carousing fools.
• Astarion: I know, isn't it wonderful? Endless opportunities for mischief.

---

(At Bhaal Temple)

• Astarion: I expected a temple to murder would be more fun. A little joyous, even.
• Lae'zel: There's no greater pleasure than battle. You face your enemy and conquer them, blade to blade, spell to spell.
• Lae'zel: But to take a life unawares is no more to be celebrated than plunging a dagger into a trapped rat.
• Astarion: Oh, I don't know - I've killed plenty of rats. I celebrated every time.

---

(At Steel Watch Foundry)

• Lae'zel: These Steel Watchers are impressive achievements. Worthy opponents, even for githyanki.
• Astarion: In that case, I'll leave fighting them to you. So I can observe your technique.
• Lae'zel: I'm sure you'll find it instructive. Or do you simply want to avoid risking your pallid neck?
• Astarion: Perish the thought - we're comrades in arms! I will be right behind you.

---

(If the player is romancing Lae'zel; after act 1 romance scene)

• Astarion: Would you believe, I've never been with a githyanki.
• Lae'zel: If you cease your frivolous ways, keep your mouth closed, and learn to obey, perhaps we can attempt it.
• Astarion: Haha! No, I think I will leave that honour to our esteemed friend.

---

(If the player is romancing Lae'zel; after act 2 romance scene)

• Astarion: So Lae'zel, things seem to be getting serious with you two. Do you have pet names for each other yet?
• Lae'zel: 'Pet' names? As if we were domesticated animals?
• Astarion: Gods, you have so much to learn. Repeat after me: honey muffin, sweetie pie, sugarplum.
• Lae'zel: Honey muffin, sweetie pie - Astarion, do you see all your lovers as food?

---

(If the player is romancing Lae'zel; after act 3 romance scene)

• Lae'zel: You say you have had many lovers, Astarion. If that is true, where are they now?
• Astarion: They weren't lovers... not in the way that you mean. They wanted me more than I wanted them.
• Astarion: I used that to my advantage more times than I care to remember.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 1 romance scene)

• Lae'zel: Why have you not tried to lay with me, Astarion?
• Lae'zel: It is in your nature to have tried. You have not.
• Astarion: No, and you're so charming and alluring. It's baffling, really.
• Astarion: I guess it shall remain a mystery, now and forevermore.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 2 romance scene)

• Lae'zel: The more I learn of this plane, Astarion, the more I believe 'love' is its greatest disease.
• Astarion: Oh, I don't know. The screaming fever is pretty bad.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn)

• Lae'zel: Astarion, I note you and your lover struggle to keep your hands off one another.
• Lae'zel: It makes you less watchful. We're panting after battle, and already your maws are glued.
• Astarion: We're having fun. I would say 'try it, it won't kill you', but in your case I'm not sure.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant)

• Lae'zel: You have shared your new power with your lover, Astarion. I'm surprised - I expected you to turn your back once you got what you wanted.
• Astarion: Quite the opposite - I need someone I can trust. And now I know they'll never betray me.

Astarion/banter and Shadowheart

• Astarion: So, you and Lae'zel? Seems tense.
• Shadowheart: Please, don't remind me. But keep your guard up with her.
• Astarion: Noted.

---

• Astarion: So, do you have loves waiting for you once this is all over?
• Gale: You know what - that is not the easiest of questions for me to answer.
• Shadowheart: You mean just waiting, like a lovesick puppy? Short-term amusements are much less hassle.

---

• Shadowheart: Do you have someone waiting for you in Baldur's Gate, Astarion? A sweetheart perhaps?

(If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Astarion: Not one in particular. The city is a veritable feast of sweethearts.
• Shadowheart: You must be eager to get back then. Slimmer pickings out in this wilderness.

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Astarion: No sweethearts, no. I prefer them savoury.
• Shadowheart: This is what I get for trying to strike up conversation.

---

• Astarion: Shadowheart. Such a grim name for such a beautiful flower.

(If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Shadowheart: I heard you mumbling that line to yourself earlier - it needs more work.
• Lae'zel: Fortunate for his tongue he didn't say it to me.

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Shadowheart: Could you not stare so blatantly at my neck when you say that please?
• Lae'zel: Oh, but do keep calling her 'flower'. She'll love that.

---

• Astarion: Goblins are such vile little parasites.

(If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Shadowheart: Not the vilest any of us have seen of late, unfortunately.

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Shadowheart: Given your own nature, are you really the one to judge?

---

• Shadowheart: You know what I really miss about Baldur's Gate? The food. Freshest fish I've ever had.
• Astarion: I don't care for fish. Red meat - now that's a different matter. Rare as can be... dripping.
• Shadowheart: Well unless we find a cure you won't have any teeth to chew it with soon enough.

---

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Shadowheart: So, Astarion. Which of us would you rather feed on? If you had free rein?
• Astarion: Ah! Wyll. No question. He's strong, fast, and righteous. I'm salivating already.
• Shadowheart: Hmm... interesting.
• Astarion: You sound disappointed. I'll bite you if you ask.
• Shadowheart: I'm sure you would. Don't sound so eager.

---

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Shadowheart: So. A vampire spawn and a monster hunter in the same group. We're not going to have trouble, are we?
• Astarion: Excuse me? Since this tadpole, I'm barely a monster at all.
• Astarion: I just want to survive, same as you.
• Wyll: I don't see a problem, as long as mister fang there keeps his appetite in check.

---

(At Sunlit Wetlands)

• Shadowheart: Ugh, I hate swamps. The place reeks - probably full of bloodsuckers as well.

(If Astarion has tried to bite Shadowheart)

• Astarion: I can't blame them. You're delicious.
• Shadowheart: If that was an attempt at flirting, I should let you know I prefer the strong, silent type.

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Astarion: Shadowheart! You wound me.

(If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Astarion: Probably.

---

(In the Underdark)

• Shadowheart: Such depth to the shadows... I don't care what others say about the Underdark - it's beautiful down here.

(If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Astarion: I've spent long enough in the dark. It gets old.

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Astarion: I'm used to a crypt's gloom. This is something else.

---

(Near Rosymorn Monastery)

• Shadowheart: I didn't exactly dress for hiking mountains. Shame we couldn't procure some pack mules, or horses.
• Astarion: Horses? Perish the thought - those ill-tempered beasts are prone to biting.
• Shadowheart: Well, so are you, but we keep you around, don't we?
• Astarion: And I'm not offering any rides, if that's what you're thinking.

---

(At Shadow-Cursed Lands Forest)

• Astarion: These woods feel unsettling - like they're dangling on the edge between life and death.
• Shadowheart: Isn't that how you feel all the time, Astarion? I thought you'd find it comforting.
• Astarion: Funny. Very funny.

---

(At Ruined Battlefield)

• Shadowheart: Imagine what this place was like, on the day of the battle. The ground must have been covered with the dead...
• Astarion: A tragedy - just think of all that wasted blood.
• Shadowheart: You wouldn't actually feed in the wake of a battle, would you? You're not a vulture.
• Astarion: Oh, I don't know. I've fed on things that would disgust most vultures.

---

(At Last Light Inn, if it's protected)

• Astarion: Gods, whoever thought I'd be happy to see the Flaming Fist?
• Astarion: Being in a land of cursed, angry shadows, you start to see things in a new light.
• Shadowheart: Admit it - you're just glad to see some potential meals walking about after all those bloodless shadows.

---

(At Reithwin Tollhouse)

• Shadowheart: I have to ask, Astarion. Do people taste different from one another, when you feed?
• Astarion: It all depends. A clean neck certainly helps.
• Shadowheart: Come on, you know I'm talking about their blood.
• Astarion: Of course, there are different vintages. Young noble is wonderful if you can get it, but crone has its charms too.

---

(At House of Healing)

• Astarion: It's a long time since I was in a house of healing. Gods, it's depressing.
• Shadowheart: I suppose you don't have much use for hospitals... unless you're seeking to steal their blood stock.
• Astarion: True, although I don't heal as fast as I used to. The one downside to the tadpole, I suppose.
• Shadowheart: The one downside? I think you might have stopped the count too soon...

---

(At Gauntlet of Shar)

• Astarion: I do like it down here. It's nice. Homey.

(If it is known that Shadowheart is a follower of Shar)

• Shadowheart: This temple is positively dripping with power and dark beauty - is homey truly the first word that springs to mind?

(If it is not known that Shadowheart is a follower of Shar)

• Shadowheart: This is a dedication to my goddess' power and dark beauty. Homey is not the first word that comes to mind.

---

(At Gauntlet of Shar)

• Shadowheart: You're uncharacteristically quiet, Astarion. Awed into silence?
• Astarion: Awed? By this? Please - size isn't everything. At least when it comes to temples.
• Shadowheart: Well what would impress you, then?
• Astarion: Oh, I don't know, but a little more colour wouldn't hurt. All the black and purple just makes me think of bruises...

---

(At Moonrise Towers)

• Shadowheart: This must have been quite a place, in its heyday. Could you ever picture yourself living here, Astarion? You know, assuming the riff-raff were cleared out?
• Astarion: Tempting, but it's not really for me.
• Shadowheart: Really? Even with all these chambers, and the commanding views? You could live like a lord.
• Astarion: But I'd have to climb so many stairs. Anyway, I already have my eye on a palace in Baldur's Gate.

---

(At the entrance to the Guildhall)

• Astarion: What a delightfully secluded alley. I would have been in my element here, once.
• Shadowheart: But you consort with a better class of people now, right?
• Astarion: A different class of person. And a different type of consorting.
• Shadowheart: Let's just stop this conversation right here, shall we?

---

(At Guildhall)

• Astarion: Well, well. The fabled haunt of Nine-Fingers Keene.
• Shadowheart: Never visited before? I thought you got around.
• Astarion: I always steered clear. If Guild members started disappearing, people would start asking questions. And Cazador hated questions.
• Shadowheart: Understandable, when the answer is invariably 'the silver-haired one ate them'.

---

(At Philgrave's Mansion)

• Shadowheart: A distinct whiff of undeath to this place... though curious, I can't say I've ever noticed the same about you, Astarion.
• Astarion: My 'whiff' is very faint, thank you - nothing a little bergamot, rosemary, and a hint of aged brandy can't hide.
• Astarion: It's the perfect olfactory disguise for a corpse. Honestly, I missed my calling as a perfumer.
• Shadowheart: You've clearly thought this through a great deal. I'm impressed and appalled in equal measure.

---

(At The Counting House)

• Shadowheart: I don't suppose you really have much use for gold, do you, Astarion?
• Astarion: It's not required, but it is nice to have. It buys any number of ways to keep life interesting.
• Shadowheart: Go on then, coyness isn't in your nature. What would you do with unlimited funds?
• Astarion: Let's just say blood tastes better from a gold goblet, and silk bedsheets improve any night-time activity.

---

(At Szarr Palace)

• Shadowheart: So, Astarion. Vampire dens - what should I expect?
• Astarion: Vampires would be a safe bet.
• Shadowheart: Hilarious. You belong on stage - perhaps the bloodstained sort, with a hooded man standing by, axe in hand.
• Astarion: So long as there's a cheering crowd. As for vampire dens, I'd brace your nose. They can be very... organic.

---

(If the player is romancing Shadowheart; after act 1 romance scene)

• Shadowheart: Do vampires actually usually drink blood out of goblets like in the storybooks? Doesn't seem very fresh.
• Astarion: Straight from the neck is preferred, but goblets are used in mortal company. They save on awkwardness.
• Astarion: We could share a drink some night, if you're curious. A nice red wine in your goblet, of course.
• Shadowheart: Very kind of you, but I'm saving my best bottle for someone already.

---

(If the player is romancing Shadowheart; after act 2 romance scene)

• Shadowheart: Living without sunlight isn't so bad, Astarion. Where I came from, we would often work exclusively under cover of darkness.
• Astarion: Yes, but you chose darkness. I was cast into it.
• Astarion: The sun was banished from my life - forbidden. And we all lust after the forbidden, don't we?

---

(If the player is romancing Shadowheart; after act 3 romance scene)

• Shadowheart: I'm probably more at home in the water than you now, Astarion.
• Astarion: Probably. Although I am two hundred years out of practice. Running water is no place for vampires.
• Astarion: But perhaps I'll join you for a dip once everything is done. Then we could see who's best.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 1 romance scene)

• Shadowheart: I can't quite believe you've been a pick-up artist all these years, Astarion.
• Shadowheart: Most of the things you say still sound like you're in a two-copper paperback read by little girls.
• Astarion: I sound like a charming rake, you mean? The hero everyone fawns over?
• Astarion: Well, if the doublet fits...

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn)

• Astarion: What a delightfully secluded alley. I would have been in my element here, once.
• Shadowheart: But you consort with a better class of people now, right?
• Astarion: A different class of person. And a different type of consorting.
• Shadowheart: Let's just stop this conversation right here, shall we?

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant)

(Note: pronouns change depending on player's gender)

• Shadowheart: Something has changed about our friend, hasn't it? But I can't quite put my finger on it.
• Astarion: They're a vampire.
• Shadowheart: This hungry look in their eyes... The haunted complexion... What could it mean?
• Astarion: They're a vampire.

Astarion/banter and Wyll

• Astarion: A question for our master monster hunter: how would you approach killing a vampire?

(If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Wyll: To start? Lure it into the sun, drive a stake through its heart. Why?
• Astarion: Just curious.

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Wyll: A full-on vamp, you mean? Lure it into the sun, drive a stake through its heart.
• Wyll: And that's not the end of it. The suckers are wily. No offence.
• Astarion: None taken. Wiliness keeps me alive. More or less.

---

• Astarion: Ever heard of a vampire called Cazador, Wyll?

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Wyll: I don't think so. Why? Friend of yours?

(If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Wyll: Doesn't ring a bell. Why?
• Gale: He's patriarch of the Szarr family. Nasty fellow, if the histories are accurate.
• Astarion: I imagine they are.

---

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Wyll: Killed a few giant bats in my day, Astarion - but never hunted a vampire.
• Astarion: Just to remind you, I'm merely a spawn. It won't count.
• Astarion: But if you want a true vampire, I'm happy to recommend one.

---

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Shadowheart: So. A vampire spawn and a monster hunter in the same group. We're not going to have trouble, are we?
• Astarion: Excuse me? Since this tadpole, I'm barely a monster at all.
• Astarion: I just want to survive, same as you.
• Wyll: I don't see a problem, as long as mister fang there keeps his appetite in check.

---

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Wyll: Astarion, how is the rat diet going?
• Astarion: It may soon come to an end if you don't shut your mouth.

---

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Wyll: I'm feeling a bit parched and peckish.
• Astarion: Me too. Keep an eye out for any passing vagrants.
• Wyll: I'm afraid you'll have to content yourself with vagrant chickens.

---

(At Forest)

• Astarion: Well, it's no Baldur's Gate, but at least it's some kind of civilisation.
• Wyll: I do miss the Gate, though. The Elfsong Tavern! Sunset over Grey Harbour! Fried fish at the docks!
• Astarion: Drunk young patriars, naked in the fountains! Ah, civilisation...

---

(At Forest)

• Wyll: As much love as I hold for Baldur's Gate, these frontiers delight me as much as any bustling street.
• Astarion: You can't be serious? This is a howling wasteland!
• Astarion: I haven't even had a bath since the abduction. I must reek of illithid slime.
• Wyll: Sure, but think of the stories you'll be able to tell.

---

(After encountering Auntie Ethel)

• Wyll: Ethel mentioned Netherese magic. What in blazes does that mean?
• Gale: Magic from the fallen empire of Netheril. Ancient, exceedingly dangerous, and quite unrivalled.
• Astarion: Wonderful! I'd hate to be destroyed by any common old magic.

---

(In the Underdark)

• Astarion: Spent much time in the Underdark?

(If it is not known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Wyll: I've slayed a death dog or six, crossed a few duergar.
• Wyll: I never was scared of the shadows.

(If it is known that Astarion is a vampire)

• Wyll: Some. And you? Seems a perfect hunting ground for... you know.
• Astarion: Perfect? You try drinking an earth elemental's blood.

---

(On the road to Shadow-Cursed Lands)

• Astarion: I used to be agog at everything when I first walked in the sun. Perhaps I'm adjusting to this new life.
• Wyll: It's when you use words like 'agog' that I remember you're actually two centuries old.
• Astarion: And it's when you think 'agog' is an impressive word that I remember you're just a child.

---

(At Shadow-Cursed Lands Fisherman's Hut)

• Wyll: To think how vibrant this place must have once been. Children playing, merchants hawking. Real people living real lives.
• Astarion: I know, can you imagine the noise? This is much more peaceful.
• Wyll: Come, Astarion. I know you're not really as heartless as all that.
• Astarion: Of course not, I'm a pussycat really. Just ask anyone who's seen my claws.

---

(Approaching Moonrise Towers)

• Wyll: Finally, we're approaching Moonrise Towers.
• Astarion: Nothing escapes the Blade of Frontiers' keen senses, I see.
• Wyll: Mock me all you want, Astarion. We could use a little comic relief.
• Astarion: Yes, that's why I'm mocking you - to keep our spirits up. No other reason...

---

(At Moonrise Towers Oubliette)

• Astarion: Admittedly, I don't care for most people, but this is a terrible waste.
• Wyll: Because their lives were cut brutally short, you mean.
• Astarion: I - ... yes, that. That's clearly what I was referring to.

---

(At Wyrm's Rock Fortress)

• Wyll: The city fell under Gortash's charms without him casting nary a spell.
• Astarion: Well, most people are idiots, Wyll. You can lure them into a dragon's maw if you promise a bag of sweets.
• Wyll: The people aren't stupid, Astarion - they're scared. Gortash provoked a damned war, and then promised them safety.
• Astarion: Safety, sweets - it's the same principle.

---

(At Wyrmway)

• Astarion: I lived two centuries in this city, but it can still surprise me.
• Wyll: Baldur's Gate harbours many a secret. Even the longest-lived explorers have yet to uncover them all.
• Wyll: Speaking of - what were you getting up to all those years?
• Astarion: Let's not get into the details. If Baldur's Gate can have its secrets, so can I.

---

(At Bloomridge Park)

• Astarion: You know, I've never seen this place in the daylight before.
• Wyll: I always loved this park. Spent a lot of time here as a boy battling imaginary monsters.
• Astarion: Oh, I was going to say it looks wretched. The dark hid all the kitschy details.

---

(At The Blushing Mermaid)

• Wyll: Ah - the memories. The Blushing Mermaid's where fifteen-year-old Wyll snuck his first kiss.
• Astarion: You didn't kiss anyone until you were fifteen? Gods, what a tragic, sheltered life...
• Wyll: Sheltered? Not at all. I was exposed to all manner of riot and revelry. Hells, my father even urged me on once or twice.
• Wyll: But I've always been a bit old-fashioned on these matters. I find more pleasure in a courtly dance than a loveless fling.

---

(If the player is romancing Wyll; after act 1 romance scene)

• Astarion: I hardly saw you at the party. Did the honest and true Blade sneak off for a little fun?
• Wyll: No! Nothing like that at all.
• Astarion: Oh, but you protest too much. Now I know you were practicing your swordplay.

---

(If the player is romancing Wyll; after act 2 romance scene)

• Wyll: I'm surprised I never saw you lurking in the shadows at any Baldurian balls, Astarion.
• Astarion: The city's elite was not my target audience, alas.
• Astarion: People ask questions when members of the nobility disappear, and the last thing Cazador wanted was people asking questions.

---

(If the player is romancing Wyll; after act 3 romance scene)

• Astarion: Marriage, Wyll? I thought you'd have learned not to get trapped by devious contracts.
• Wyll: I was planning to invite you to the ceremony, but I'm having second thoughts.
• Astarion: I'd love to come! As long as I can sit with someone fun. Mizora, perhaps?

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 1 romance scene)

• Wyll: I'd watch yourself, my friend. I don't know if our pale rogue has anything good in his heart, or even a scrap of it left for you.
• Astarion: Excuse me? That's just mean - we're all adults here.
• Wyll: Your heart's cold as ice, Astarion. I'm just making sure no one slips and gets hurt.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 2 romance scene)

• Wyll: Astarion, I just want to say - I judged you wrongly. I'm sorry.
• Astarion: Really? And how - specifically - have you misjudged my fine character?
• Wyll: You aren't actually insufferably randy. You're just insufferable.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn)

• Wyll: Astarion, I was wrong about you. Truly wrong about you.
• Astarion: Let me guess - you thought I'd suck blood, but actually I just suck? Was that your witty jab?
• Wyll: No, I mean it. There's little between us we share. But you've fallen in love and stood by your lover. That is something this dreamer's heart can appreciate.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant)

• Wyll: The two of you are the unholiest union I can bloody imagine.
• Astarion: It's funny - I don't recall asking your opinion, Wyll.
• Wyll: You had the most precious thing - someone who would do everything for you - and you damn well took everything. 'Degenerate' doesn't half cut it.

Astarion/banter and Halsin

• Halsin: What do you know of Umberlee, Astarion?
• Astarion: Oh, lots. Rhymes with 'under-sea' for one thing. Fitting, eh?
• Halsin: I... I suppose it is, yes. But perhaps do not refer to her as such - she is a vengeful, capricious goddess. Who knows what may cause her ire.
• Astarion: But she's fine with 'the Bitch Queen'? Give her some credit, Halsin.

---

(If the player is romancing Halsin in act 3)

• Astarion: I hear things got wild between you two. I hope no one was too badly mauled.
• Halsin: We're all in one piece. Perhaps you'll join us next time.
• Astarion: It's bad enough having one person with fangs trying to keep control of themselves. Two of us could be dangerous.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn)

• Halsin: Astarion, I am astonished. To relish in intimacy again after such hardship is a wound many never recover from.
• Astarion: Are you charging for this sage advice, or is sticking your nose into my business just a hobby?
• Halsin: Jest all you will. I believe now in your honest heart.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant)

• Halsin: To give oneself wholly, and to have a lover totally in your thrall...? A harmless game, until it becomes real. I worry for the two of you, Astarion.
• Halsin: For your sake, I hope some of it is just a fantasy, deep in your heart.
• Astarion: Must you take everything so seriously? We're both happy with our arrangement - that's all that matters.

Astarion/banter and Minthara

(In Shadow-Cursed Lands)

• Minthara: The shadows have lingered here so long, the land itself is corroded. A most persistent curse.
• Astarion: I think I know a thing or two about persistent curses, thank you.
• Minthara: The rashes and sores you may have contracted over your decades of philandering are not the kind of curse that concerns me.

---

(At Last Light Inn, if it's cursed)

• Minthara: Devoured by the darkness. They should have retreated while they had the chance.
• Astarion: And yet here we stand. We're either very clever or very lucky.
• Minthara: You do not need luck to survive, Astarion. Not when you have me.

---

(At Grand Mausoleum)

• Astarion: Ah, no shadow curse, plenty of funerary decor - I almost feel at home.
• Minthara: Stop gawking at the decor, spawn. This place is dangerous.
• Astarion: Yes, as I said - just like home.

---

(After defeating Ketheric Thorm)

• Minthara: Did you expect to survive Myrkul's wrath, little spawn?
• Astarion: You'd be surprised, drow. I've survived a lot of things.
• Minthara: Greater horrors await us in Baldur's Gate. Best sharpen your fangs.

---

(At Wyrm's Rock Fortress)

• Astarion: So many dark nooks and crannies - this fortress is a lurker's paradise.
• Minthara: Would you not prefer basking in the sun like a lizard now that it no longer blisters your pretty skin?
• Astarion: Old habits die hard, darling. Surely you know that.

---

(At Bonecloak's Basement)

• Astarion: No, this place feels all too 'Underdark'y for me.
• Minthara: You are speaking of my home, spawn. It is pleasant to be reminded of it.
• Astarion: Oh dear - you're not going to come over all pleasant and homely, are you?
• Minthara: To you? Doubtful.

---

(At Szarr Palace)

• Minthara: Ominous, yet austere. This place has its charms.
• Astarion: We're both learning a lot. Cazador kept this place all to himself.
• Minthara: I do not blame him. It is not the sort of place servants or spawn should sully with their presence.

---

(At Baldur's Gate Waypoint)

• Minthara: Our illithid warns us away from what lies beyond that gate, but perhaps it underestimates us.
• The Emperor: You should listen to your illithid. It knows your weaknesses as well as it knows the brain's strengths.
• Astarion: Care to share any of Minthara's weaknesses? Or would it take too long to go through them all?
• Minthara: Watch your tongue, spawn. I need the illithid alive - you are expendable.

---

(At Morphic Pool)

• Astarion: We're getting close. I do believe fate is shuffling the cards for the final deal.
• Minthara: Let the cards fall. We have a strong hand to play.
• Astarion: And speaking personally, I intend to cheat.

---

(If the player is romancing Minthara; after act 2 romance scene)

• Astarion: So how does Lolth feel about romance? Are you expected to bite your mate's head off afterwards?
• Minthara: Be grateful I no longer follow the Spider Queen's teachings. If I did, you would be the first to fall into my web.
• Astarion: I can't tell if you're joking. She is joking, right?

---

(If the player is romancing Minthara; after act 3 romance scene)

• Astarion: So, what's it like caring for someone other than yourself, Minthara?
• Minthara: You have never tried it, I assume.
• Astarion: Gods no. It sounds like a lot of work.
• Minthara: It takes less work than you devote to maintaining your foppish facade. And it's far more rewarding.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 2 romance scene)

• Minthara: Half the men of Menzoberranzan are pleasure-servants. Weaklings, whose beauty is their only redeeming quality.
• Minthara: You would fit right in with them, Astarion.
• Astarion: You think I'm beautiful? Oh, Minthara.
• Minthara: Hrmmph.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn)

• Minthara: Are you a better man now that you are loved, Astarion? Did they mend your ways?
• Astarion: I rather think they did. Can't imagine anyone wanting to do that for you, though dear.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant)

• Minthara: Would you ever consider sharing the gift of immortality with me, Astarion?
• Astarion: I think not. That is for me and my darling to share.
• Minthara: If they have prevented your eyes and fangs from wandering to other necks, it must be a special bond indeed.

Astarion/banter and Jaheira

(In the North Alleys)

• Jaheira: Never mind the shining squares - I am more comfortable on streets such as this. A peek at the true face behind the mask.
• Astarion: Yet another thing we have in common. We're two peas in a pod.
• Jaheira: I said a peek behind the city's mask, Astarion - not a look up its skirts.
• Astarion: Jaheira! What do you think of me?

---

(In the Lower City)

• Astarion: Cazazdor always warned us to stay clear of this neighbourhood. Never said why, though.
• Jaheira: The last spawn who tried was sunk into the cobblestones and left for the sun to find. I had an unfortunate taste for theatrics, in my youth.
• Astarion: Ah. Yes, that was probably it.

---

(In the Lower City)

• Astarion: Beyond that gate is the Upper City, housing the great and the good of Baldur's Gate.
• Jaheira: You yearn for a better class of company, Astarion?
• Astarion: Gods no - who'd want to spend time with anyone great or good?

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn)

• Jaheira: I am glad it is your non-vampiric charms our friend has fallen for, Astarion. It is, isn't it?
• Astarion: Of course! Is it so unbelievable that they would simply like me?
• Astarion: If you insist on prying, perhaps you'd care to join us and see how much we enjoy one another?
• Jaheira: Why? Do you require some instruction on how the deed is done?
• Astarion: I'm sure even I could learn some new tricks from an old veteran such as yourself.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant)

• Jaheira: You consumed all the spawn in your service, lord Astarion. You shall have to fend for yourself a while.
• Astarion: Oh, I've never had trouble attracting foolish, pretty people.
• Jaheira: Nor did Cazador, it seems.
• Astarion: Jaheira! ... You think I'm pretty?

Astarion/banter and Minsc

(At Basilisk Gate)

• Minsc: Ah, but it is a fine thing to walk with friends beneath the warming sun!
• Astarion: Friends' might be a stretch, but otherwise - yes, I fully agree!
• Minsc: You might have your cloudy locks to keep the heat off your head, but do not forget that Minsc has Boo! We will be like twins, eh?
• Astarion: We will? Gods - two hundred years and I've never missed seeing my reflection more.

---

(At Eastern Docks)

• Minsc: ASTARION! FISH! ASTARION!
• Astarion: Minsc, please - slow down. Use your words.
• Minsc: Minsc has thought how you might be a more virtuous vampire - feast on fish instead. They are made of naught but neck!
• Astarion: It's a sweet thought, but fish just doesn't have the flavour of full-blooded red meat.
• Minsc: No, you do not 'agree', Boo. I told you you have been spending far too much time around the pale one...

---

(At Harborview Park)

• Minsc: Oh, I do not know, Boo. If you buried the nuts here before we were stone, I am thinking they might have gone bad.
• Astarion: Minsc! Enough! The hamster isn't saying a damn thing and you know it.
• Minsc: Well, Astarion. Boo is of good breeding, and so only speaks when he has something nice to say.
• Minsc: Perhaps this is why he has never seen fit to speak to you.
• Astarion: How delightfully vicious. I'm beginning to like the hamster.

---

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn)

• Minsc: Sorry if you heard me and Boo arguing. He says to love is better than to fight, and I cannot agree!
• Astarion: Maybe you should listen to the rodent more often. Exclusively, even.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn)

• Minsc: No, Boo. Astarion is a friend now - he would never bite you.
• Minsc: Yes, vampire?
• Astarion: Yes... I mean - no? I am not interested in biting the rodent is the point.
• Astarion: Not least because he lives in your trousers...

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant)

• Minsc: Do not think your twinkly-eyed wiles will work on us, vampire lord.
• Astarion: Oh, I know I could never tempt you, but maybe your little friend would like to perch on a more elegant shoulder?
• Minsc: Do not look into his eyes, Boo! Think not of nesting in his thick and downy mane!
• Astarion: You'll never know unless you try. Just once? Maybe you'll like it.