Astarion/banter

A collection of Astarion's remarks and overhead conversations with other characters.

Remarks

Selected

Keep a blade close.
Trust no one.
Watch your back.
What now?
Hmm?
Someone there?
Hello again.
Was the sun always that bright?
Let's see what the day brings.
What a day.
Everything looks new.
Things feel... different.
Keep your distance, darling.
I could get used to this.
Well hello.
How delicious.
Careful. I bite.
Don't touch me.

Selected (in combat)

Let's have some fun.
Time to kill.
This feels good.
Let's turn someone inside out.
Shall we cut and run?
I've missed this.
Shall we dance?
The dance macabre.
Who's next?
Go for the throat.
I feel alive.
Can you feel death's cold grip?
There's blood in the air.
Let's spill some blood.
I'm ready.
Let's have some carnage.
Hungry for the slaughter.
Time for a cull.

Selected (sneaking)

What is it?
Mmm?
Quiet...
Really? Now?
Now?
Now what...
If this isn't important...
I was trying to concentrate.
Time to kill?
Time for a little death?
Keep your blade close.
Let's have some fun.
Hello you.
Ready.
Shall we?
Quietly now...
I'm just waiting.
Something smells tasty.

Selection spam

Why do beautiful people taste better? It hardly seems fair on the ugly - they have such wonderful personalities.
Ugh. Strahd wouldn't put up with this shit.
More like Drizzt Don't'Urden - no. No that's not funny.
Villains! Dissemble no more, I admit the deed! Tear up the floor - here, here! It is the beating of his hideous hea- oh, no, that's his brain. Where did I leave that heart?

Selection spam (in combat)

I'm trying to focus on murder.
*Humming.*
I shot a svirfneblin in Menzoberranzan just to watch him die.
I should've been a drow. They have such stylish armour.

Selection spam (sneaking)

Shhh. Just think sneaky thoughts.
Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP.
Be very, very quiet - I'm hunting idiots.
I've got a brand new torture chamber, so come and play with me.

Moving

Go.
There.
Moving.
Quick step.
Yes, let's.
Let's go.
Let's move.
Let's be quick.
On my way.
Don't linger.
Step lightly.
Step quick.
Tread carefully.
Tread lightly.
This way.
Over here...
Shall we?
Over there.
Watch your back.
Watch the shadows.
One step at a time.
Subtle steps.

Moving (in combat)

Outmanoeuvre them.
On the way.
Keep them guessing.
This will do nicely.
Moving.
With finesse.
Quickly!
Let's go.
Let's move.
Be quick.
On my way.
Don't linger.
Step quick.
This way.
Over here.
Yes, here.
Time to move.
A better position.

Moving (sneaking)

Nice and easy.
Step carefully.
Just like old times.
Move unseen.
The element of surprise.
They won't see me coming.
Gently...
Stay low.
Not a sound.
Stepping softly.
Silent as the grave.
Quietly...

Hiding

Let's keep to the shadows.
On tippy toes.
Just like old times.
Into the shadows.
Time for discretion.
Neither seen nor heard.
Like a wraith.
Leave no trace.
Be very, very quiet.
On the hunt.
Let's prowl.
Ready or not...

Hiding (in combat)

Just like old times.
Into the shadows.
Leave no trace.
On the hunt.
Now they see me...
Time for a new approach.
They won't know what bit them.
The subtle approach.
We'll do it my way.
Let's have a little fun.
Ready or not...
Let's find some prey.

At low health

Heal me, damn you!
Gods - it hurts.
Urgh. That nearly ended me.
I can't take much more...
I need healing - now!

Attacked by party member

Think you're funny, do you?

Can't fit in a small hole

That thing is small, and I am not.

Can't fit in a tiny hole

That thing is tiny, and I am not.

Can't use an item

It's uncooperative.
That did nothing.
It's not broken, but it isn't working either.
Seems not.

Can't use an item while in combat

Now is not the time.
Let's wait until no one's trying to kill me.
Killing people now, playing with doodads later.
Maybe later, when I'm not locked in combat?

Finding a locked item

I'm not opening that. Not from here, at any rate.
I can't unlock it from here, but there must be a switch or a button somewhere...
Locked tight, but there must be some way to open it.
No, that's not moving. There must be a way to open it somewhere.

Picking a lock

Oh, for a skeleton key.
(Chuckle) Easy...
Should be easy.
Simple.
A crooked touch.
With pleasure.
Hardly a challenge.
Let's crack it open.

Looking at a globe

The world looks so small. Like you could just reach out and take it.

Looking at an astrolabe

Not just a world to explore, but an entire cosmos...

Looking into a mirror

I don't need a reflection to know this looks fabulous.
Hmm, yes... still nothing.
Looking perfect as always. I assume.

Looking into a telescope

I never cared for spyglasses. Watching things from afar is hardly fun.

Succeeded Perception roll (trap)

A trap. Someone doesn't like visitors.
Be careful, there are traps about.
Traps. How considerate.
Oh dear, someone's left a trap out for us.

Succeeded Investigation roll

Well now, what have we here?
Well hello there.
Hmm, what could you be?
What's that I spy?
Ah, interesting.

Succeeded Investigation roll (trap)

It's a trap. And a nasty one at that.
A devious little trap.
Hello, you wicked little thing.

Identified a mimic

A poor imitation. I see you, you sneaky little shapeshifter.

Surprised by mimic

Yes, yes. I'd hide my true form if I looked like you, too.
Ugh. That creature was rather prettier in disguise.

After a Short Rest

Off we go, then.
Well, some rest's better than none.
Enough sitting around - let's go hurt someone.
All right, time to see what new horror's waiting for us.

On character death

Player:

No, you can't die. Get up, damn you!

Player (Dark Urge):

No! My sweet, bloodthirsty friend.

Lae'zel:

Lae'zel - no!

Shadowheart:

Shadowheart! No!

Karlach:

Karlach! You can't die - I won't let you die.

Jaheira:

Jaheira! You will be avenged.

Gale:

No, Gale!

Wyll:

Wyll! Get up, you sweet fool!

Minthara:

Minthara! Damn it all.

Minsc:

No - Minsc! You can't die, not now!

Halsin:

No - Halsin! Gods damn it...

Throwing Scratch's ball after his death

Can't believe the stupid dog isn't here to get the stupid ball.
Good riddance to the dog. Who'd miss that waggy little tail...
Does it have a sad squeak now? Is that even possible?
I suppose I'll just pick it up myself.

Location Remarks

Act One

Act 1 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

(By the dock in the Ravaged Beach)

Running water normally burns like acid. But now - who knows?

(Sitting on the Stool of Hill Giant Strength)

Well now, what's this? I feel powerful.
Damn it, it's gone...

(Ancient Temple)

Impressive-looking ruins down there, but well out of reach.

Act Two

Act 2 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

Act Three

Act 3 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

Party Banter

Astarion/banter and Gale

Astarion: I am enjoying our walks together, aren't you, Gale?
Gale: Uhm... Sure. In silence.

Astarion: So, do you have loves waiting for you once this is all over?
Gale: You know what - that is not the easiest of questions for me to answer.
Shadowheart: You mean just waiting, like a lovesick puppy? Short-term amusements is much less of a hassle.

Gale: I knew I should've attended the Blackstaff's lectures on githyanki tir'su.
Gale: If I understood their script, who knows what secrets their texts would surrender...
Astarion: Why not ask one of the friendly bloodthirsty warriors? I'm sure they'd be happy to translate.

Astarion: I gave my return to Baldur's Gate a lot of thought. I never pictured this, though.
Gale: What did you have in mind? A quiet party, toasting your return with a few good friends?
Astarion: Less 'quiet party with friends', more 'days of hedonistic debauchery'. But otherwise, yes.
Gale: Sounds like a recipe for disaster. But you know what? I'm learning to enjoy the taste of chaos. Count me in.

Astarion/banter and Karlach

Astarion: Gods, how are we not there yet? My feet are killing me.
Karlach: Want me to carry you?
Astarion: Oh, darling, would you?
Karlach: Sure. If you promise to swap once I get tired.
Astarion: Please, I can barely manage my pack - you'd kill me.

Astarion: Biting flies, midges - shouldn't nature be beautiful and serene? It looks so nice in the Upper City parks.
Karlach: Upper City, huh? Swish. Never spent much time there myself.
Astarion: I'll happily take you. If we survive this bugs' banquet.
Karlach: Sounds good. I've always been curious what a patriar loo looks like.

Karlach: Hahaha. Ha!
Astarion: What's so funny? You haven't got some laughing curse, have you?
Karlach: I really made it out of Avernus. It's incredible.
Astarion: All right, just keep it down. We're conspicuous enough without your hyena call.

Astarion/banter and Lae'zel

Astarion: So, you know about these parasites. Will we survive them?
Lae'zel: Only if my people extract them. The only other cure is the blade.
Astarion: Okay. Wonderful.

Astarion: You fight well, but you're so efficient. Why not have a little fun?
Lae'zel: Fun? I fight to win, not to make spectacles.
Astarion: What a waste.

(Entering Selûnite Outpost)

Astarion: Do we have to spend so long poking about down here?
Astarion: I'd much rather be outside, with the sun on my skin.
Lae'zel: You've only just come to tolerate sun, and you're already nostalgic?
Lae'zel: If you're to complain the whole way, by all means, return topside. You could use the colour.

Astarion/banter and Shadowheart

Astarion: So, you and Lae'zel? Seems tense.
Shadowheart: Please, don't remind me. But keep your guard up with her.
Astarion: Noted.

Astarion: Shadowheart. Such a grim name for such a beautiful flower.
Shadowheart: I heard you mumbling that line to yourself earlier - it needs more work.
Lae'zel: Fortunate for his tongue he didn't say it to me.

Astarion: Goblins are such vile little parasites.
Shadowheart: Given your own nature, are you really the one to judge?

(In the temple of Shar)

Astarion: I do like it down here. It's nice. Homey.
(If Shadowheart's allegiance has been revealed)
- Shadowheart: This is a dedication to my goddess' power and dark beauty. Homey is not the first word that comes to mind.
(If Shadowheart's allegiance hasn't been revealed)
- Shadowheart: This temple is positively dripping with power and dark beauty - is homey truly the first word that springs to mind.

(In Reithwin Tollhouse)

Shadowheart: I have to ask, Astarion. Do people taste different from one another, when you feed?
Astarion: It all depends. A clean neck certainly helps.
Shadowheart: Come on, you know I'm talking about their blood.
Astarion: Of course, there are different vintages. Young noble is wonderful if you can get it, but crone has its charms too.

(In the House of Healing)

Astarion: It's a long time since I was in a house of healing. Gods, it's depressing.
Shadowheart: I suppose you don't have much use for hospitals... unless you're seeking to steal their blood stock.
Astarion: True, although I don't heal as fast as I used to. The one downside to the tadpole, I suppose.
Shadowheart: The one downside? I think you might have stopped the count too soon...

(At Cazador's Palace)

Shadowheart: So, Astarion. Vampire dens - what should I expect?
Astarion: Vampires would be a safe bet.
Shadowheart: Hilarious. You belong on stage - perhaps the bloodstained sort, with a hooded man standing by, axe in hand.
Astarion: So long as there's a cheering crowd. As for vampire dens, I'd brace your nose. They can be very... organic.

Astarion/banter and Wyll

Astarion: Well, it's no Baldur's Gate, but at least it's some kind of civilisation.
Wyll: I do miss the gate, though. The Elfsong Tavern! Sunset over Grey Harbour! Fried fish at the docks!
Astarion: Drunk young patriars, naked in the fountains! Ah, civilisation...

Astarion: I used to be agog at everything when I first walked in the sun. Perhaps I'm adjusting to this new life.
Wyll: It's when you use words like 'agog' that I remember you're actually two centuries old.
Astarion: And it's when you think 'agog' is an impressive word that I remember you're just a child.

Astarion: Ever heard of a vampire called Cazador, Wyll?
Wyll: Doesn't ring a bell. Why?
Gale: He's patriarch of the Szarr family. Nasty fellow, if the histories are accurate.
Astarion: I imagine they are.

Astarion/banter and Halsin

tba

Astarion/banter and Minthara

tba

Astarion/banter and Jaheira

(In the Lower City)

Astarion: Beyond that gate is the Upper City, housing the great and the good of Baldur's Gate.
Jaheira: You yearn for a better class of company, Astarion?
Astarion: Gods no - who'd want to spend time with anyone great or good?

(In the Lower City)

Astarion: Cazazdor always warned us to stay clear of this neighbourhood. Never said why, though.
Jaheira: The last spawn who tried was sunk into the cobblestones and left for the sun to find. I had an unfortunate taste for theatrics, in my youth.
Astarion: Ah. Yes, that was probably it.

(In the North Alleys)

Jaheira: Never mind the shining squares - I am more comfortable on streets such as this. A peek at the true face behind the mask.
Astarion: Yet another thing we have in common. We're two peas in a pod.
Jaheira: I said a peek behind the city's mask, Astarion - not a look up its skirts.
Astarion: Jaheira! What do you think of me?

(Ascendant Astarion)

Jaheira: You consumed all the spawn in your service, lord Astarion. You shall have to fend for yourself a while.
Astarion: Oh, I've never had trouble attracting foolish, pretty people.
Jaheira: Nor did Cazador, it seems.
Astarion: Jaheira! ... You think I'm pretty?

(Spawn Astarion)

Jaheira: I am glad it is your non-vampiric charms our friend has fallen for, Astarion. It is, isn't it?
Astarion: Of course! Is it so unbelievable that they would simply like me?
Astarion: If you insist on prying, perhaps you'd care to join us and see how much we enjoy one another?
Jaheira: Why? Do you require some instruction on how the deed is done?
Astarion: I'm sure even I could learn some new tricks from an old veteran such as yourself.

Astarion/banter and Minsc

(By the Basilisk's Gate)

Minsc: Ah, but it is a fine thing to walk with friends beneath the warming sun!
Astarion: Friends' might be a stretch, but otherwise - yes, I fully agree!
Minsc: You might have your cloudy locks to keep the heat off your head, but do not forget that Minsc has Boo! We will be like twins, eh?
Astarion: We will? Gods - two hundred years and I've never missed seeing my reflection more.

(In Harborview Park)

Minsc: Oh, I do not know, Boo. If you buried the nuts here before we were stone, I am thinking they might have gone bad.
Astarion: Minsc! Enough! The hamster isn't saying a damn thing and you know it.
Minsc: Well, Astarion. Boo is of good breeding, and so only speaks when he has something nice to say.
Minsc: Perhaps this is why he has never seen fit to speak to you.
Astarion: How delightfully vicious. I'm beginning to like the hamster.

(By the Eastern Docks)

Minsc: ASTARION! FISH! ASTARION!
Astarion: Minsc, please - slow down. Use your words.
Minsc: Minsc has thought how you might be a more virtuous vampire - feast on fish instead. They are made of naught but neck!
Astarion: It's a sweet thought, but fish just doesn't have the flavour of full-blooded red meat.
Minsc: No, you do not 'agree', Boo. I told you you have been spending far too much time around the pale one...

(Ascendant Astarion)

Minsc: Do not think your twinkly-eyed wiles will work on us, vampire lord.
Astarion: Oh, I know I could never tempt you, but maybe your little friend would like to perch on a more elegant shoulder?
Minsc: Do not look into his eyes, Boo! Think not of nesting in his thick and downy mane!
Astarion: You'll never know unless you try. Just once? Maybe you'll like it.

(Spawn Astarion)

Minsc: No, Boo. Astarion is a friend now - he would never bite you.
Minsc: Yes, vampire?
Astarion: Yes... I mean - no? I am not interested in biting the rodent is the point.
Astarion: Not least because he lives in your trousers...

Spotted an issue with this page? Leave a comment! Note that your IP address will be publicly logged unless you create an account. You can also edit the page to fix the issue. See How to Contribute to get started, and maybe join our Discord so we can coordinate our efforts.