Karlach/banter

Overview

Approval

Banter

Romance

A collection of Karlach's remarks and overhead conversations with other characters.

Remarks

Selected

• Let's march!
• What a charmer.
• Hey, good-looking.
• C'mon, let's go!
• I could go for a good meal.
• Damn, it's good to be alive.
• Soldier.
• I'd love to, thanks.
• Making me sweat.
• Wanna dance?
• What's cooking?
• Don't be shy.
• Don't burn yourself.
• Attention!
• Well, well, well.
• What's the story?
• La-da-da-da...
• Hey-ho.

Selected (sneaking)

• Let's march!
• What a charmer.
• Hey, good-looking.
• C'mon, let's go!
• I could go for a good meal.
• Damn, it's good to be alive.
• Ready for some good news.
• Soldier.
• I'd love to, thanks.
• You're making me sweat.
• Wanna dance?
• What's cooking?
• Don't be shy.
• Don't burn yourself.
• Attention!
• Well, well.
• What's the story?
• Dum-dee-dum.

Selected (in combat)

• Let's cook with fire, baby.
• Now this is my happy place.
• Hup hup!
• On my word.
• I got this.
• Bye forever, pal.
• I'm heating up!
• GODS, it's HOT in here!
• Put 'em up.
• Hahahaha!
• My turn.
• I smell blood.
• All right, Karlach, it's go time.
• This is gonna feel good.
• Ready for another round?
• Let's GO!
• Watch this.
• Fuck yes!

Selected (downed)

• Help me.
• Everything's going dark.
• This isn't the way.
• No! I won't go!
• Not yet. Please.
• Heal me, please!
• I'm burnt out.

Selection spam

• Don't. Poke. The Karlach.
• Who am I?
• My eye!

Selection spam (sneaking)

• My back can't take much more of this.
• Not now, I'm being a sneak!
• I'm getting too old for this nonsense.
• I'm not built to crouch.

Selection spam (in combat)

• Eyes on the prize - we need to win this!
• Not every soldier should've made it out of training.
• Eyes on victory, tummy on dinner.
• I ought to just burn this whole thing down.

Moving

• Hup to.
• All right.
• Marching.
• Soldier?
• On my way.
• There we go.
• What next?
• Lalala.
• Oh yeah.
• Let's go!
• Heyy.
• Uh huh.
• Phew!
• Movin' it.
• Where to?
• Got it.
• Let's ride.
• Saddle up.
• Honk honk.
• Yeah-ha.
• Me?
• If you insist.
• While I'm at it.
• Toes, toes.

Moving (in combat)

• Over there!
• Heading out.
• Find a route.
• Moving.
• Tactical.
• Close ranks.
• In position!
• Jimmy on the go.
• Covered.
• Knees high.
• I've got it.
• Count on me.
• No surrender.
• Got it.
• Under their noses.
• Aye aye.
• Soldier.
• Incoming!

Moving (sneaking)

• I'm too tall for this...
• Halfling essence...
• Long n' low.
• Rat feet.
• Sneak sneak.
• Quiet.
• Shadowlach
• Shh...
• I'm nothing!
• Light as air
• Turn down the fire.
• Whisper mode.

Hiding

• Stealth mode: activated.
• Like a vandal.
• Let's turn down the fire.
• Shh...
• Shadows don't suit me.
• Time for a soft touch.
• You can't see me.
• Invisible me.
• I feel like a rothé in a tea shop.
• Steady...
• I've got this.
• Not used to lying low.

Hiding (in combat)

• Get down!
• They won't spot me now.
• Quiet as silence.
• Can't see me.
• Don't look!
• Oh yeah.
• Slick.
• Shht!
• Here I go...
• Invisible.
• Born for this.
• Boom! Here I go.

At low health

• Need some oil over here!
• Tune me up, quick!
• Won't last much longer like this.
• Soldier! I need your help!

Can't fit in a small hole

• Yeah, maybe if I was half the size.
• No chance.
• Maybe if I were a halfling.

Can't fit in a tiny hole

• That's for someone teeny-tiny, not biggy-biggy.
• Not a chance I'd fit.
• Maybe if I was a quarter of the size.

Can't use an item

• No joy.
• Nope.
• C'mon...
• Argh!

Can't use an item while in combat

• Not now.
• Not during a fight.
• Other things on my mind, thanks.
• Let's finish this fight first.

Finding a locked item

• Nope. Maybe there's some other way to open it.
• Locked out. Maybe I can get it open another way.
• Let me look around. Might be something that'll help me crack this thing.
• Gotta be something around here to unlock this thing.

Attempting to pick a lock

• Can't I just break it?
• To the left... and... to the...

Looking at a globe

• Where should we go next?
• What a world.
• Round and round.
• Let's see, where's Faerûn.
• Big.

Looking at an astrolabe

• Wouldn't mind knowing what else is out there.
• No thanks, I'm happy where I'm at.
• Makes me dizzy. Feet planted firmly on Faerûn, please.

Looking into a mirror

• Hey, good lookin'.
• Aw, me.
• Check out those arms.
• Hey, girl.
• Cute.

Looking into a telescope

• Big shiny eye.

Succeeded Perception roll (trap)

• Easy - this place is hungry for blood.
• This'll be fun.
• A trap! Time to dance.
• Hot foot, hot foot - place is trapped.

Succeeded Investigation roll

• What's this?
• Gotcha.
• He-llo.
• What's that now?
• C'mere you.

Succeeded Investigation roll (trap)

• Place is trapped.
• Someone's rigged this place to the teeth.
• Go lightly; I spot a trap.

Identified a mimic

• Come out, come out, little mimic...

Surprised by mimic

• Another mimic! Aw, look at all those teeth.
• A mimic! Aww, baby!

After a Short Rest

• Nice little nap.
• Feeling fresh.
• Ah, that put the wind back in my sails.
• *Yawn!*

On character death

Player:

• You're not dying. Not on my watch.

Player (Dark Urge):

• Hang on - I won't allow this. You aren't dead, go it?

Lae'zel:

• On your feet, soldier! That's an order!

Shadowheart:

• C'mon, Fringe, back up with you!

Jaheira:

• Fuck no. Not Jaheira.

Gale:

• Gale! Come on, magic man, hang on!

Wyll:

• WYLL! NO!

Minthara:

• On your feet, Minthara! Today's not your day.

Minsc:

• Oh, no you don't, baldy. On your feet!

Astarion:

• Astarion, you leech, you can't die like this!

Halsin:

• Halsin! Hang on! Please!

Location Remarks

Act One

Act 1 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

Ravaged Beach

(By the dock)

• "It's the River Chionthar. I'd know these waters anywhere."
• "Do you intend to vocalise every thought? Or just the most obvious ones?"
• "Makes a pleasant change from rivers of blood."
• "Let's hope the locals are friendly."

Forest

(Finding Exsanguinated Boar) "Wonder what killed the poor thing. Not a drop of blood anywhere."

Act Two

Act 2 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

Act Three

Act 3 Spoilers! This section reveals details about the story of Baldur's Gate 3.

Party Banter

Karlach/banter and Astarion

(While in plains)

• Karlach: Hahaha. Ha!
• Astarion: What's so funny? You haven't got some laughing curse, have you?
• Karlach: I really made it out of Avernus. It's incredible.
• Astarion: All right, just keep it down. We're conspicuous enough without your hyena call.

---

(At Forest)

• Astarion: Biting flies, midges - shouldn't nature be beautiful and serene? It looks so nice in the Upper City parks.
• Karlach: Upper City, huh? Swish. Never spent much time there myself.
• Astarion: I'll happily take you. If we survive this bugs' banquet.
• Karlach: Sounds good. I've always been curious what a patriar loo looks like.

---

(At Sunlit Wetlands)

• Astarion: Transforming into a mind flayer might have its perks. At least then I could float over this muck.
• Karlach: Not one for roughing it, I see.
• Astarion: Wallowing in filth is for pigs and children, my dear.
• Karlach: Pigs, children, and people with a little bit of grit.

---

(At Grymforge)

• Karlach: Ho. He-llo! Hey!
• Astarion: So... are you greeting invisible beings or just losing your mind?
• Karlach: The echoes - listen! They're coming from three directions!
• Astarion: Losing your mind it is! Probably the tadpole - the weirdest things seem to be...

---

(Near Rosymorn Monastery)

• Astarion: Gods, how are we not there yet? My feet are killing me.
• Karlach: Want me to carry you?
• Astarion: Oh, darling, would you?
• Karlach: Sure! If you promise to swap once I get tired.
• Astarion: Please, I can barely manage my pack - you'd kill me.

---

(At Last Light Inn Graveyard)

• Astarion: The graveyard's ancient, but the graves are fresh.
• Karlach: Feeling at home?
• Astarion: I haven't set foot in a graveyard since I became a spawn, thank you. Vampires are nothing like those other undead.
• Karlach: True. I've never heard a mummy complain about a wrinkled doublet. Or sour wine.

---

(At Rivington)

• Karlach: Nice to be in a crowd of normal people for once.
• Astarion: Really? I prefer my company extraordinary.
• Karlach: Aww, thanks.
• Astarion: Don't thank me, thank Gortash.
• Karlach: Excuse you. I didn't need that prick to make me who I am.
• Astarion: You're right, of course. Forgive me.
• Karlach: All good, fangs.

---

(At Baldur's Mouth)

• Astarion: Probably best if I keep a low profile. They used to know me all too well in the Elfsong.
• Karlach: Wonder if our paths ever crossed in the before-times. Were you always so sneaky?
• Astarion: I haven't survived for two centuries by being reckless. And I hope to survive at least two more.
• Karlach: Yeah yeah, don't rub it in.

---

(At Grey Harbour Docks)

• Karlach: Can you swim, Astarion?
• Astarion: I'm... not sure, honestly. It's been a couple of hundred years.
• Karlach: You're missing out! Loved it as a kid. This water looks nasty as hell, though.
• Astarion: Well, it's not called 'Grey Harbour' for nothing.

---

(At Felogyr's Fireworks)

• Karlach: Oh man! WHIZBANGS!
• Astarion: Keep calm, Karlach. One bad flare and you could blow this whole place.
• Karlach: (Oh man! Whizbangs!)
• Astarion: Better.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 1 romance scene)

• Karlach: Hey. What's on your mind, Astarion? You seemed a million miles away just then.
• Astarion: Hmm? Oh, I was just pondering that heart of yours.
• Astarion: There were times I would've been thrilled if everyone who put their hands on me burst into flames.
• Karlach: I'd trade you if I could.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 2 romance scene)

• Astarion: So the more you cool down, the more your love life heats up?
• Karlach: Seems that way! But I'm a bit out of practice, to be honest.
• Astarion: I'm sure it'll all come back to you. You'll be as depraved as the rest of us in no time.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 3 romance scene)

• Astarion: I hear you were spotted being 'normal' in the Singing Lute, Karlach. Are you feeling all right?
• Karlach: Seemed like the right thing to do. I've never really tried 'normal' before.
• Astarion: And? How did you find the quiet life?
• Karlach: It was nice. It was really nice.
• Astarion: I never thought I'd see the day - our champion of the Hells has gone soft.
• Karlach: Maybe I have. Finally.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 1 romance scene)

• Karlach: I never was a sucker for a smooth-talker, but I admit, Astarion, you're pretty slick.
• Astarion: And you're rather the opposite of slick. Do you have a point?
• Karlach: I was just being nice.
• Astarion: Step one of starting a conversation: think before you speak.
• Karlach: Never was my strong suit.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion; after act 2 romance scene)

• Karlach: Sorry if this is rude, but... can vampires fall in love?
• Astarion: What a preposterous question. Vampires can do anything you can do, and a damn sight better.
• Karlach: Sunbathe? Swim?
• Astarion: All right, there are a few limited exceptions.
• Karlach: Good to know love is on the table though.
• Astarion: It is. Though if the table is laden with good wine and meat, love is often left to rot with the salad leaves.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion stayed a spawn)

• Karlach: So our vamp isn't so heartless after all.
• Astarion: Rich of you to talk about someone else's heart, Karlach.
• Astarion: But I must admit, my chest has been feeling a touch lighter recently.
• Karlach: It suits you beautifully.
• Astarion: Yes, most things do.

---

(If the player is romancing Astarion, and Astarion became an ascendant)

• Karlach: You know, Astarion, I'm not sure I can trust you anymore. You're... different. A bit scary, to be honest.
• Astarion: I have one person who trusts me completely. That's enough for me.
• Karlach: Treat them right, or you'll have me to answer to.
• Karlach: I can whittle up a good stake in no time if the mood takes me.

Karlach/banter and Gale

(While in plains)

• Gale: I don't suppose you've any clue where we are in relation to Waterdeep?
• Karlach: From this distance between Elturel and Baldur's Gate, I'd say... a long way away.
• Gale: Ah. That will make getting word to my mother rather tricky.
• Gale: No matter - what she doesn't know can't hurt her. Not at this distance, anyway.

---

(At Forest)

• Gale: Nothing like a brisk stroll through the forest to invigorate the spirit.
• Karlach: I was just thinking the same thing, but less poetically.
• Gale: And without so much as a stirring from our tadpoles.
• Karlach: A girl could get used to this.

---

(At Blighted Village)

• Karlach: Looks like this town was ransacked - by soldiers, if my eyes don't deceive me.
• Gale: Quite cruelly, too.
• Karlach: Must've been an awful day for the people who lived here.
• Gale: If nothing else, I hope it was a mercifully short one.

---

(In the Underdark)

• Karlach: Just when I was getting used to the sky again...
• Gale: Fear not, Karlach. Sun, moon and stars will still be there waiting for us.
• Karlach: Meanwhile, this place is pretty spectacular, isn't it?
• Gale: No book or painting could ever do its strange beauty justice. But perhaps our stories might, when we return to the surface.

---

(At Grymforge)

• Gale: The architects who built this must have been remarkable. A pity their vision didn't stand the test of time.
• Karlach: All's not lost. I mean, just look at this place.
• Gale: You've quite the knack for finding the bright side of things, haven't you?
• Karlach: Hope keeps you going.

---

(Near Rosymorn Monastery)

• Karlach: Man, adventuring is thirsty work.
• Gale: There used to be a monastery in this region known for producing a wonderful ale.
• Karlach: That sounds like heaven! Wait. Used to?
• Gale: Oh, yes - long ruined, I'm afraid. No chance of a frothing pitcher awaiting us there, but still - at least your thirst for knowledge is quenched.
• Karlach: Ugh.

---

(On the road to Shadow-Cursed Lands)

• Gale: Do you feel that? A darkness, pulling at the strands of the Weave.
• Karlach: You'll still be able to do your wizard thing, though, right?
• Gale: Of course, but that doesn't make the shadows less dangerous.
• Karlach: Joy.

---

(At Shadow-Cursed Lands Forest)

• Karlach: Doing all right, Gale?
• Gale: Oh, you know... Still alive and kicking, despite being surrounded on all sides by an endless manifestation of darkness and decay...
• Karlach: I feel it too. Here if you need a pick-me-up.

---

(At Last Light Inn - Cellar Shrine)

• Gale: A hidden shrine, dedicated to the Moon Maiden herself. Even amidst this darkness, Selunites are stubborn enough to cling on.
• Karlach: Pretty beautiful, isn't it?

---

(At The Waning Moon)

• Karlach: Huh. A brewery. Why does Reithwin Ale ring a bell?
• Gale: It was known to be quite the tipple - a cask or two still exists, if you know the right alekeep...
• Karlach: You must have good taste. Not me. Can't afford it.
• Gale: A common misconception. Even the simplest of flavours are elevated by the choice to appreciate them. Don't deny yourself such pleasures.

---

(At Reithwin Tollhouse)

• Karlach: Whoa! Almost slipped there.
• Gale: You wouldn't be the first, I'd wager. It's been some time since these walkways felt the carpenter's hammer.
• Karlach: You gonna catch me if I eat a brick?
• Gale: With my reflexes? I'd catch you before you so much as stubbed a toe.

---

(At Gauntlet of Shar)

• Gale: Even shaped by shadow as it is, Sharran architecture has a kind of beauty to it.
• Karlach: Beautifully intimidating. This place was meant to scare people into submission.
• Gale: There you go, cutting right through the ephemera to the heart of the matter. Your finest quality, I think.
• Karlach: And here I thought I rubbed you the wrong way.
• Gale: Nothing wrong with a bit of friction now and then. You help me keep my mind sharp.
• Karlach: Aw. Thanks, pal. I think.

---

(Approaching Moonrise Towers)

• Karlach: Ready to enter the belly of the beast?
• Gale: It's the stairs I'm dreading. I shall close my eyes, and pretend I'm climbing my own, far superior tower in Waterdeep.
• Karlach: In that case, welcome home.

---

(At Moonrise Towers Docks)

• Karlach: We're not taking a boat to Baldur's Gate, right?
• Gale: And give the Absolute free reign to use us as target practice from the banks? I think not.
• Karlach: Phew. My mum always said the Chionthar was unlucky.

---

(At Mind Flayer Colony)

• Gale: It strikes me that, for a mind flayer colony, there are remarkably few mind flayers about the place...
• Karlach: Squiddies have gone to war, is my guess.
• Gale: On the Absolute's behalf? Now there's an alliance I'd have been quite happy without.

---

(At The Blushing Mermaid)

• Karlach: Man, it's good to be home. First round on who?
• Gale: She who thirsts buys drinks the first.
• Karlach: You won't pin me down with a rhyme, wizard!
• Gale: She who declines gets the worst of the wines.

---

(At Sorcerous Sundries)

• Gale: Look around you. Indulge your curiosity. Sorcerous Sundries is the finest purveyor of magical miscellany for miles around.
• Karlach: Where's the axes?
• Gale: What they sell is far more precious than mere sword or shield. They sell knowledge, ingenuity, the wisdom of mages past.
• Karlach: Sounds like more your thing than mine.

---

(At The Counting House)

• Gale: They say wealth offers a form of magic. Alas, it's one I've rarely dabbled in.
• Karlach: Nor I. Never had more than a few coppers in the city, and any soul coins in Avernus went straight to Zariel.
• Gale: Make no mistake. Souls are sold for coins up here as well. All too cheaply, in most cases.

---

(At Danthelon's Dancing Axe)

• Karlach: Wouldn't mind a dancing axe of my own.
• Gale: A simple movement charm wouldn't be too hard to apply to such an object. I could conjure one up for you if you like?
• Karlach: Yes! I like!
• Gale: Very well then. Once the city is saved, Karlach's Kinetic Cleaver will be first on my list.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 1 romance scene)

• Gale: You know, Karlach, there are other ways to express love beyond run-of-the-mill physicality...
• Karlach: Ugh. Are you going to try and teach me about exceptional uses for a mage hand or what?
• Gale: Actually, I was thinking of poetry.
• Karlach: Oops, sorry. But... now that I think of it... is mage hand especially hard to learn?

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 2 romance scene)

• Gale: I've always felt flames to be a rather perfect expression of love, Karlach.
• Gale: Passionate, primal, capable of bestowing the most life-affirming comfort, or inflicting the profoundest damage.
• Karlach: That's... pretty nice. Never thought about it like that. But now I will.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 3 romance scene)

• Gale: Am I to understand that you are in love now, Karlach?
• Karlach: I sure am. If there's hope for me there's hope for anyone.

---

(If the player is romancing Gale; after act 1 romance scene)

• Gale: Karlach... a hypothetical question for you:
• Gale: If someone - not me, of course - detected a hint of romantic interest in them from another, unnamed individual, what might that someone do about it?
• Karlach: Whoever it is, just talk to them, Gale. And leave out the hypotheticals.
• Gale: Talking. Right. I'm good at that.

---

(If the player is romancing Gale; after act 2 romance scene)

• Karlach: So, Gale - got any book recommendations for me?
• Gale: You can read?!
• Karlach: Very funny. Yes - I can read. School put me off big boring tomes. Sometimes I wonder what I'm missing.
• Gale: Say no more - I'll find the perfect book for you. I might even lend it to you from my library in Waterdeep.
• Karlach: Ooh! Something with magic, please. And no devils.

---

(If the player is romancing Gale; after act 3 romance scene)

• Karlach: How's the orb treating you, Gale?
• Gale: Oh, quite well as a matter of fact. Since it was stabilised, it's been humming along nicely.
• Gale: I have noticed one adverse side-effect. I seem to be losing hair in some, er, unexpected places.
• Karlach: I can only imagine.

Karlach/banter and Lae'zel

(While in plains)

• Karlach: Is this your first time on the Sword Coast, Lae'zel?
• Lae'zel: Yes. It is much more... lively... than the githyanki slates led me to believe.
• Karlach: Just wait till you see Baldur's Gate. You'll never want to leave.

---

(While in plains)

• Lae'zel: Smell that? Blood. This whole plain reeks of it.
• Karlach: That'll wake you up of a fine day, won't it.
• Lae'zel: I do not need awakening. My senses are sharp as steel.

---

(At Forest)

• Karlach: Ahh, smell that? Fresh forest air.
• Lae'zel: I smell only fear - the fear of cowards lying in wait for an ambush.
• Karlach: You can take a day off once in a while, Lae'zel.
• Lae'zel: I do not take days off. I'd even forego sleep, if such a thing were feasible. The one advantage an elf holds over a githyanki.

---

(In the Underdark)

• Karlach: Beautiful. Lethal. The Underdark is everything I thought it'd be.
• Lae'zel: And I. This environ seems worthy of a githyanki warrior's estimation.
• Karlach: Ah, to be deemed worthy by the great Lae'zel of Crèche K'liir.
• Lae'zel: Continue as you have, Karlach, and you will achieve the same.

---

(At Rosymorn Monastery)

• Karlach: What a sight. We should stop for a nice little lunch, take it all in.
• Lae'zel: Is the worm gnawing at your grey matter? We must find a crèche and be purified.
• Karlach: True. Fine. First, purify the tadpole, then a little lunch.

---

(On the road to Shadow-Cursed Lands)

• Karlach: Lae'zel, do you want to talk about what happened at the crèche?
• Lae'zel: Trust me. You'll know when I'm ready to discuss it.
• Karlach: Fair enough. But if you change your mind...
• Lae'zel: It is not a matter of mind. It is a matter of faith - and I have been put to the test.

---

(At Shadow-Cursed Lands Forest)

• Karlach: Do I see light? Or am I delusional?
• Lae'zel: Just a mirage. There's not a spot in sight that the gloom hasn't touched.
• Karlach: Damn, you're right. The eyes see what the heart wants.

---

(At Ruined Battlefield)

• Lae'zel: Bones. Rusted weapons. A great battle was fought here.
• Karlach: An extra vicious one, I think. No one buried their dead.
• Lae'zel: Exactly the sort of battle I live to fight. And the sort made even more thrilling with a hot-hearted tiefling at my side.

---

(At Mind Flayer Colony)

• Karlach: Look at all this mucus. Wonder if our nautiloid came from down here.
• Lae'zel: It's a possibility. This is no mere mind flayer colony, but an entire ghaik bastion.
• Karlach: I'm ready for the goo.

---

(At Wyrm's Rock Fortress)

• Lae'zel: A kith'rak's red dragon would have this place down around Gortash's ears in moments.
• Karlach: I'd love to see that. I've always hated this place.
• Lae'zel: It will be far more satisfying to plunge a blade into Gortash myself than to pick through his ashes.

---

(At Wyrm's Rock Fortress)

• Karlach: You know, I've always kind of hated this place. Such ado about a damned bridge.
• Lae'zel: It's just a bridge. Is it really worth all that ire?
• Karlach: C'mon, isn't there something you hate for no good reason?
• Lae'zel: Hm. I dislike owls. Their hyper-mobile necks are quite disconcerting.
• Karlach: You know what, Lae? I couldn't agree more.

---

(At Lady Jannath's Estate)

• Karlach: Phew! Wouldn't mind shacking up in a place like this.
• Lae'zel: Yes - and quite an attractive target for githyanki raiders. They'd plunder the village and fly off with the spoils.
• Karlach: What are you, pirates?
• Lae'zel: To my people, all the planes are a vast garden to be weeded and picked.
• Karlach: Well tell your mates to keep their hoes out of Baldur's Gate.

---

(At House of Hope)

• Karlach: Damn. I swore I'd never come back to the Hells, and here I am.
• Lae'zel: Fate has a way of pulling us along with or without our approval.
• Karlach: Escaping fate happens to be my speciality.

---

(If the player is romancing Lae'zel; after act 1 romance scene)

• Karlach: So githyanki undergarments. Very fashionable.
• Lae'zel: The under-harnesses are often used for strapping oneself onto a red dragon.
• Karlach: Fashion and function. You lot really have it all figured out.

---

(If the player is romancing Lae'zel; after act 2 romance scene)

• Karlach: Lae'zel, you're actually glowing.
• Lae'zel: It is the sheen of the soldier's sweat on my brow.
• Karlach: The soldier's sweat? Or the lover's?
• Lae'zel: Kain'cha... Speak on it no further.

---

(If the player is romancing Lae'zel; after act 3 romance scene)

• Karlach: It's good to see you smiling, Lae'zel.
• Lae'zel: A momentary spasm of the jaw. But perhaps there is cause.
• Lae'zel: Even in this dark hour, there are some things to take heart in.
• Karlach: Couldn't have said it better myself.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 1 romance scene)

• Lae'zel: Your years in the Hells have made you a fierce warrior, Karlach.
• Karlach: Fierce in battle, maybe a bit naive in... everything else.
• Lae'zel: In that way, you are like many a young githyanki - wise to the ways of battle, if not to the wider world.
• Karlach: Makes sense. And how are you getting on out here in the world?
• Lae'zel: Mindfully and meticulously.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 2 romance scene)

• Lae'zel: Karlach, were there others of Zariel's warriors who bore the infernal engine?
• Karlach: I was the first - not the last. But most didn't survive the process.
• Karlach: The others were all devilkin. I think I was the only lucky winner from Faerûn.
• Lae'zel: You were stronger than the others.
• Karlach: Lucky me.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 3 romance scene)

• Lae'zel: A dinner date. At first your request confused me. But then, I became curious...
• Karlach: Think you might like to try it for yourself some time?
• Lae'zel: It sounds terribly understimulating.
• Karlach: Depends on the company.
• Lae'zel: Well. Good thing for us both I make for riveting company.

Karlach/banter and Shadowheart

(At Forest)

• Karlach: Ahh. Flowers, leaves, grass. Can't beat it.
• Shadowheart: I was raised in the city - I'm more used to feeling cobblestones underfoot than grass and fallen leaves.
• Karlach: Before I went to Avernus, I'd have agreed with you. Nothing quite like Baldur's Gate, is there?
• Shadowheart: Nothing in my recollection, anyway...

---

(At Blighted Village)

• Shadowheart: The whole village is falling to pieces. These goblins aren't exactly house-proud, as occupiers go...
• Karlach: Wouldn't blame the gobs. Place looks like it's been abandoned a good while.
• Karlach: But hey, maybe we can scare up a few dusty bottles of wine somewheres.
• Shadowheart: I like your way of thinking. Split any takings we find?
• Karlach: Sister, you've got a deal.

---

(At Sunlit Wetlands)

• Karlach: Hey! Something bit me.
• Shadowheart: Just an insect - I'm sure you'll survive. Besides, it probably figured you for a tasty treat.
• Karlach: Give me an aboleth over a midge any day.

---

(At Grymforge)

• Shadowheart: This place is hard to bear. I hope we're able to continue on our way before too long.
• Karlach: I know what you mean. Everyone is so... unhappy.
• Shadowheart: Oh. Well I meant more the molten rock and plunging chasms, but yes, the folk leave something to be desired as well.
• Karlach: Present company excluded, of course?
• Shadowheart: Oh hush, you. Stop fishing for compliments.

---

(At Rosymorn Monastery)

• Shadowheart: A remote spot for a monastery. I suppose they wanted to make sure the monks avoided temptation.
• Karlach: Yeah but look at these mountains. The height of temptation.
• Shadowheart: No, I mean more like vices. You know - pleasures of the flesh.
• Karlach: Met a loumara demon who married a mountain, though. It's a thing.
• Shadowheart: I think the thin air might be getting to you, Karlach.

---

(At Crèche Y'llek)

• Karlach: Gotta respect these gith. They don't fool around.

(If it is known that Shadowheart is a follower of Shar)

• Shadowheart: Oh I'm more than aware, trust me. I've had plenty of training in what to expect from them.

(If it is not known that Shadowheart is a follower of Shar)

• Shadowheart: I'll certainly be treading very carefully, trust me.
• Karlach: In that case, lead on, miss.

---

(On the road to Shadow-Cursed Lands)

• Shadowheart: We've had some close calls already. There could be even tougher days ahead...
• Karlach: Cheer up. It might be all downhill from here.
• Shadowheart: Meaning things will start becoming easier for us, or our situation will deteriorate from here...?
• Karlach: Exactly.

---

(At Reithwin Town)

• Karlach: Since you're the only one in good form out here, I'll trust you to lead the way, Shadowheart.

(If Shadowheart no longer loyal to Shar)

• Shadowheart: Actually... I've been stripped of that particular advantage. But I will forge ahead, nonetheless.

(If Shadowheart is still loyal to Shar)

• Shadowheart: It's a deal, so long as you watch my back.
• Karlach: Atta girl.

---

(At Mason's Guild Rebel Hideout)

• Shadowheart: I love a nice secret hideaway, don't you?
• Karlach: I mean... I guess.
• Shadowheart: You can just fill it with supplies, seal up the hidden entrance, and tuck yourself away from the world...
• Karlach: Whatever you say, squirrelheart.

---

(At Gauntlet of Shar)

• Karlach: Never knew Sharrans to be so... military.
• Shadowheart: It shouldn't surprise you. We have been at war with Selûne since before most of history was written. An eternal conflict, from the viewpoint of mortals...
• Shadowheart: Shar's entire creed revolves around waging war against Selûne. Imagine all the generations of mortals, sacrificed in an eternal conflict between sisters.
• Karlach: Problem with eternal wars is they never end.
• Karlach: Take it from me, a short, sharp personal vendetta is far less time-intensive.

---

(Approaching Moonrise Towers)

• Shadowheart: Moonrise Towers. There used to be more than one tower, of course. The other must have been destroyed.

(If Karlach has only one real eye)

• Karlach: I figured as much, what with my one good eye for seeing and fingers for counting.

(If Karlach still has both eyes)

• Karlach: I figured as much, being the proud owner of eyes.
• Karlach: ... sorry, no need for that. Must've put too much salt on my blood sausage this morning.
• Shadowheart: Not at all. Nice to be on the receiving end, now and again. Keeps me sharp.

---

(At Moonrise Towers)

• Karlach: I'm sweating bullets. What if I blow our cover?
• Shadowheart: Simplicity is the key to a good deception. If in doubt, try thinking less.
• Karlach: Yes ma'am.

---

(At Moonrise Towers Oubliette)

• Karlach: Dark enough for you, Shadowheart?
• Shadowheart: Nothing wrong with a nice subdued ambience. It can help flatter even the homeliest of faces.
• Karlach: I'll try to keep my fire a gentle throb.

---

(At Moonrise Towers Prison)

• Karlach: Prisoners!
• Shadowheart: More like soon-to-be tadpole residences. Every infected prisoner will just make things harder on us...
• Karlach: Let's go blast a brine pool, then.

---

(At Baldur's Mouth)

• Karlach: I wouldn't mind doing a little shopping in the city.

(If Shadowheart no longer loyal to Shar)

• Shadowheart: Same. I think I may have overdone it with the black and purple for, oh, my entire life? Your look serves you well though.

(If Shadowheart is still loyal to Shar)

• Shadowheart: Lady Shar teaches us to abhor superficialities like fashion... though the city does have some fine boutiques. After a new look?
• Karlach: I'm ten years behind; don't want the youths to think I'm not, you know, up with the times.

---

(At Bloomridge Park)

• Karlach: Huh. There's something going on here. I don't like it.
• Karlach: Careful. I smell an ambush.
• Shadowheart: Are you sure it's not the flowers you're smelling? You may be allergic.
• Shadowheart: But better safe than sorry, I suppose.

---

(At Morphic Pool)

• Karlach: I can tell when we're getting close to a mind flayer area because everything starts to smell purple.
• Shadowheart: That's either profoundly poetic or childishly simple. I'm going with poetic.
• Karlach: A compliment from Shadowheart! I'll put it on the shelf with the rest of my achievements.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 2 romance scene)

• Karlach: Hey, Shaddy, got a quick question about the best way to treat an infernal burn.
• Shadowheart: Shaddy? Really?
• Karlach: Hearty? Shadsy? Or maybe just The Fringe?
• Shadowheart: 'Shadowheart' will do just fine, thanks. Love is making you fanciful.
• Karlach: You might be right.

---

(If the player is romancing Shadowheart; after act 1 romance scene)

• Karlach: You look happy, Shadowheart. Like a Night Orchid in bloom.
• Shadowheart: You must be imagining it.
• Karlach: It's all over your face.
• Shadowheart: It must be all the fresh air since the crash - has me flush.
• Karlach: It looks good on you.

---

(If the player is romancing Shadowheart; after act 2 romance scene)

• Karlach: So - why Night Orchids?
• Shadowheart: Well, isn't it enough that they're beautiful?
• Shadowheart: They remind me of some place - a place I can't quite remember. But I think I was happy there, wherever it was.
• Shadowheart: Sorry. I'm being silly.
• Karlach: You're cute.

---

(If the player is romancing Shadowheart, and Shadowheart chose Selune)

• Karlach: Must be lovely to have a swim without boiling all the fishes alive.
• Shadowheart: Sounds pleasant to swim with you. At a distance. It's usually so freezing.
• Karlach: Don't ask me to make a hot spring for you two. It might work. But I also might cook you like lobsters.

---

(If the player is romancing Shadowheart, and Shadowheart chose Shar)

• Karlach: To have someone who cares about you and throw them away. I don't know how you do it.
• Shadowheart: Any restriction, any tether must be shed. Surely you understand that? It is a form of freedom, if a tragic one.
• Karlach: I've had enough tragedy in my day. You have too. But Shar's got you in a chokehold.
• Shadowheart: It's called an embrace. I suppose you don't receive many.
• Karlach: Whatever.

Karlach/banter and Wyll

(At Last Light Inn, if it's protected)

• Karlach: Think the bar is open?
• Wyll: I intend to find out. But we should scout around first, see who's in need of help.
• Karlach: You're good at staying in character, I'll give you that.

---

(At Grand Mausoleum)

• Karlach: No shadow curse here. Wonder why.
• Wyll: Couldn't say. Maybe because an entirely different curse has befallen the tomb.
• Karlach: Always something, isn't it.

---

(At Gauntlet of Shar)

• Karlach: You know, even devils like a good joke. Why are Sharrans so... dour?
• Wyll: Their belief is grounded in loss. Hardly a laughing matter.
• Karlach: The loss of all joy. Sad business.

---

(At Rivington riverbank)

• Karlach: Care for a dip, Wyll?
• Wyll: It would be my pleasure, Karlach - once the Absolute's been crushed for good.
• Karlach: Heroics don't leave half enough time for messing.

---

(In the North Alleys)

• Karlach: Do I hear... music?
• Wyll: I reckon there wasn't much merry-making in the Hells.
• Karlach: You reckon right. Maybe for the best though. My singing is worse than demonic screeching.
• Wyll: Hm - perhaps your talent lies in dancing, instead?

---

(At Southern Docks)

• Wyll: Smell that, Karlach?
• Karlach: Uh... fish?
• Wyll: Well, yes. But also trouble.
• Karlach: Your nose is better than mine, pal.

---

(At The Counting House)

• Karlach: Feel that? Guards are giving us the stink-eye.
• Karlach: Think they recognise you?
• Wyll: Possibly. But I wager there's something deeper at work here.
• Karlach: Then let's go digging.

---

(If the player is romancing Wyll; after act 1 romance scene)

• Karlach: Couldn't find you for a while at the party. Was hoping we could regale our friends with a nice three-horned duet.
• Wyll: Ah, I just needed a moment of quiet, to think, that's all.
• Karlach: What about?
• Wyll: Wouldn't you like to know?
• Karlach: Well yeah! One thing I'll say for the Hells, the gossip is excellent. Faerûn's a funeral parlour by comparison.

---

(If the player is romancing Wyll; after act 2 romance scene)

• Karlach: Used to your new look yet, Wyll? I for one think you look smashing.
• Wyll: You know, I think I am. It certainly didn't put off my - er- dance partner.
• Karlach: Ah, dance, the true language of love.

---

(If the player is romancing Wyll; after act 3 romance scene)

• Karlach: Seeing you happy is pretty wonderful, Wyll.
• Karlach: Two of my real friends, finding real happiness? Together? Beautiful.
• Wyll: Thank you, Karlach.
• Karlach: If you get married, I'm your celebrant. Got it?
• Wyll: As if could ever refuse you.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 1 romance scene)

• Wyll: Did Zariel know you'd be unable to touch anyone when she crammed that awful thing into your chest?
• Karlach: Thing is, I can touch devils and the like, back in Avernus. I never did, cause I'm not a masochist. But I could have.
• Wyll: Gods. I'm glad you got out of there.
• Karlach: With my new best friend on my tail the whole time. Who knew.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 2 romance scene)

• Wyll: Karlach... I know I say this every day, but I'm so glad you're here.
• Karlach: Me too!
• Wyll: And seeing you've got someone to care about now, after ten bloody years, what would you say? 'Good for you, mate.'?
• Karlach: Exactly so, your majesty.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 3 romance scene)

• Wyll: The fact one of your first dates is going to be one of your last... it's just not fair, Karlach.
• Karlach: I don't want to think about that. I just want to enjoy whatever comes my way.
• Wyll: You're worth more respect than every last rogue in this city. I hope you know that.

Karlach/banter and Halsin

(At Ruined Battlefield)

• Karlach: I can almost reconstruct this battle in my mind. Unfortunately.
• Halsin: At least you were not present. Grim as it is now, it was worse on the day of the battle. A vivid wound upon my memory.
• Karlach: Tsk. Poor man.
• Halsin: I was lucky - I lived, when so many did not. It would take me a day and a night to recite the names of all the friends I lost.

---

(At Last Light Inn Graveyard)

• Karlach: Well, well. Who's buried here?
• Halsin: Flaming Fists, Harpers, refugees, perhaps... The shadow curse has indiscriminate taste in victims.
• Karlach: May they rest in peace.
• Halsin: Peace and rest are strangers in these lands, until the shadows are banished.

---

(At Last Light Inn, if it's cursed)

• Halsin: All gone... devoured by the shadows. Oak Father preserve us, it's just like a hundred years ago.
• Karlach: Stay strong, bear man. We're still here.
• Halsin: We are. Yet there is a burden to being the survivor... the witness to others' tragedies. It only grows heavier with time.

---

(At Mason's Guild)

• Halsin: I knew one of Reithwin's head masons. She was a good woman, and strong as an ox.
• Karlach: Really? Are strong women your type, Halsin?
• Halsin: I don't discriminate against any type.
• Karlach: Truly a bear man of the people.

---

(At Moonrise Towers)

• Halsin: This fortress was a seat of the High Heralds, I believe. Long gone from here, of course.
• Karlach: The who now?
• Halsin: A council of intellectuals, respected throughout Faerûn - leading authorities on heraldry of course, but also history, genealogy, and diplomacy.
• Karlach: Seems like diplomacy failed, if they allowed Ketheric Thorm to take over - twice.

---

(At Moonrise Towers Throne Room)

(If the shadowcurse hasn't been lifted)

• Halsin: I can only hope we still find time to vanquish the curse. I can think of little else.
• Karlach: You can talk of little else too.
• Halsin: I make no apologies for knowing what is important to me.

(If the shadowcurse has been lifted)

• Halsin: We have lifted the shadow curse, but a new challenge awaits us.
• Karlach: Baldur's Gate - we can't get there soon enough.
• Halsin: I am... less anxious to find myself in a city. So removed from nature's power - I do not know how I will fare.
• Karlach: Stick with me. I'll show you around and square up if anyone bothers you.

---

(While assaulting Moonrise Towers)

• Karlach: Take no prisoners.
• Halsin: I doubt many will seek to surrender. But if they do... mercu costs us nothing, Karlach.
• Karlach: Nothing but the win.

---

(At The Lodge)

• Halsin: There is an admirable harmony to the Society of Brilliance. Beings of all sorts, united in the pursuit of intellect...
• Karlach: The pursuit of intellect. Fun.
• Halsin: Hailing from the Underdark can dampen one's sense of fun, I will admit. Down there, noises such as laughter tend to attract predators.
• Karlach: Sounds like a place I used to know...

---

(At The Blushing Mermaid)

• Halsin: You and I may struggle to go unnoticed in such environs, Karlach.
• Karlach: True enough. Hard to hide pretty under a bushel.
• Halsin: I meant more in terms of size. Folk of our stature can be a lure for drunkards seeking a brawl, I have found.
• Karlach: Ooh! Fun.

---

(At Guildhall)

• Karlach: I smell a fight brewing.
• Halsin: Then let it brew. Some radical thinkers claim that peace is a valid option, you know.
• Karlach: And miss a good barroom brawl? Not me, sir.

---

(At Sorcerous Sundries)

• Halsin: This place reminds me of a magpie's nest. Random baubles, doodahs, and what-have-yous, all jumbled together without a care.
• Karlach: Fun, right? Who knows what you could find.
• Halsin: Danger, going by past experience. A cursed tome. An unstable spell. A haunted poppet...
• Karlach: Haunted poppet, haunted poppet.

---

(At Morphic Pool)

• Halsin: I cannot help but feel that destiny is tightening its grip on our forward path.
• Karlach: Win or lose, we're nearly there, right?
• Halsin: Indeed. But I just wanted to take the chance to say - it has been a pleasure, Karlach.
• Karlach: The feeling's highly mutual, bear man.

---

(If the player is romancing Haslin in act 3)

• Karlach: You're old as sin, right Halsin? You must have lots of good stories.
• Halsin: A few. But people always warm to the most salacious chapters.
• Halsin: They forget how much I study, meditate, and as a bear - hibernate. I must have spent a hundred years or more asleep.
• Karlach: Sleep and adventure. Maybe I'll come back as a bear in some future life.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 3 romance scene)

• Halsin: Nature affords us few greater powers of healing than what love can provide, Karlach.
• Halsin: I was concerned that your pursuit of a cure might cloud your final days. I am glad I was wrong.
• Karlach: Me too. Even with so much at stake... in this little heart of mine, I've never been happier.

Karlach/banter and Minthara

(At Abandoned Cistern in the Lower City Sewers)

• Minthara: This place is foul. Drow would not tolerate rivers of waste flowing so close to their residences.
• Karlach: You've got slaves to manage your sanitation. Baldur's Gate doesn't. Though we do rely quite heavily on kobolds.
• Minthara: But surely the kobolds are slaves?
• Karlach: Hell no.
• Minthara: Straj. Yet one more reason to despair for the fate of this city.

---

(If the player is romancing Minthara; after act 2 romance scene)

• Karlach: Hey, so, what's romance like in the Underdark, Minthara?
• Minthara: In Menzoberranzan, romance is commonly a luxury enjoyed between women. Men are mostly present for propagation.
• Minthara: Here on the surface, gender does not define one's role so strictly. There are weaklings of every sort.

---

(If the player is romancing Minthara; after act 3 romance scene)

• Karlach: It's funny seeing you so smitten, Minthara. Didn't think you were able.
• Minthara: I took my first lover before you were a spark in your father's eye, child.
• Karlach: Go on.
• Minthara: She was a high priestess of House Vandree. Beautiful, elegant, ruthless.
• Minthara: I adored her, and had been sharing her bed for some time when the order came that she must die.
• Minthara: I stayed with her while the poison did its work, and whispered words of comfort as she slipped away.
• Karlach: Oh no.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 2 romance scene)

• Minthara: You allowed that smith to meddle with your heart, Karlach, simply so you can be touched?
• Minthara: Better to shut off the carnal desires than indulge them. They are distractions.
• Karlach: Yes, because every function comes with a handy switch.
• Karlach: Next time I'm injured, don't heal, just turn me off and on again.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 3 romance scene)

• Minthara: Have you ever been afraid, Karlach? Truly afraid?
• Karlach: You know how much time I spent in the hells, right? Of course I've been scared!
• Karlach: I kept on going though. Knew there'd be better days on the other side - and here they are.

Karlach/banter and Jaheira

(At Steel Watch Foundry)

• Karlach: These Steel Watchers are big as hell.
• Jaheira: All the more cracks and crevices for a wild-shape to ferret into - gum up the works a little.
• Karlach: I'd give my other horn to watch that.

---

(At Bonecloak's Basement)

• Karlach: So, erm, Jaheira. Do you like to... that is, what do you like to do?
• Jaheira: As in... hobbies? Oh. Well... I like to play music, I suppose?
• Karlach: I'm just picturing you strumming on a harp so hard the strings snap and trying not to shriek. What do you play?
• Jaheira: Eh. Mostly the same children's rhyme, on a battered whistle of tin. I do not get a lot of time to practise.
• Jaheira: Oh spare me the sad eyes, girl! Not every daily deed is worthy of song! Certainly none I can play.

---

(At Water Queen's House)

• Karlach: This place is so peaceful. Maybe I should convert.
• Jaheira: I've done my share of praying to her, though not for the cause of peace. My faith was suddenly found on choppy seas.
• Karlach: I don't know what that means.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 3 romance scene)

• Jaheira: You've a love-struck look about you, Karlach. Just do not let it distract you from the task ahead.
• Karlach: But what if I really enjoy being distracted from the task ahead?
• Jaheira: Bah, where is the barbarian rage? I have been learning so many colourful phrases from you, I was hoping to inspire a few more.
• Karlach: Ma'am, you've been inspiring me since I was yea high.

Karlach/banter and Minsc

• Karlach: Minsc, you come from an entire nation of berserkers. Give me some of those good Rashemaar pointers.
• Minsc: Oh. There is much to be learned. Deep breaths. Meditative trances. Strange and stinking mushrooms.
• Minsc: But Minsc could master none of this. Which made him sad. Which made him mad. Which made him the berserker you see before you.
• Karlach: Huh. Really?
• Minsc: And there is always Boo, with the needful nip when anger is slow in coming. This is not how you do it...?

---

(At the entrance to the Guildhall)

• Minsc: Are you familiar with the evil works of Nine-Fingers and her Guild, Karlach?
• Karlach: I've Heard of her - and everyone knows the Guild. They're not bad if you know how to work 'em.

(If Minsc has agreed to work with Nine-Fingers)

• Minsc: Hm. Boo and I, we are in need of honest berserkers to keep the Guild honest in turn. Will you show us how this 'working' is done?
• Karlach: Sure. The trick is to let them mess with you just once, and show 'em what happens. They won't try again.

(If Minsc has not agreed to work with Nine-Fingers)

• Minsc: Minsc means to do no working. When he breaks the guildmaster, it will be for the fun of it alone.

---

(At Undercity Ruins)

• Minsc: A dead and foul place. Only a villain would nest down in these tunnels.
• Karlach: Hang on, weren't you living in the sewer?
• Minsc: Entirely different! That was foul only in its smells, and the way our water tasted. But it was home.
• Karlach: Fair enough, buddy. Home is where the heart is, anyway.
• Minsc: Ah - in that case, home is in my pocket, nestled on soft bed of flesh and fluff.

---

(At Bhaal Temple)

• Karlach: What a pesthole! Can't wait to clear this place out.
• Minsc: There will be much trading of threats and insults, no doubt. But Minsc will be ready when it is time for boot to meet butt.
• Karlach: You and me both, pal.

---

(At Morphic Pool)

• Minsc: Karlach, this brain we go to bully - Boo has suggested it is large. Wizard-brain large? Boo-brain large?
• Karlach: Like... as many Boo-brains as a mortal mind can fathom. It's an elder brain, after all. You heard of those?
• Minsc: Of course!
• Minsc: What is an elder brain?
• Karlach: Honestly, I'm not completely sure. But I know it'll be no match for you, me, and the hamster.

---

(If the player is romancing Karlach; after act 3 romance scene)

• Minsc: Karlach - do I see you gazing long at Boo? You wish to have a hamster of your own, I think.
• Karlach: I wouldn't say no. But really I was thinking... how old is he, Minsc?
• Minsc: He is quite obviously in his prime. For a miniature giant space hamster.
• Karlach: And he's always looked the exact same? No chance Jaheira's been swapping him out every few years?
• Minsc: Karlach! Minsc and Boo thought better of you, than to be so concerned with looks.